Ianto was enjoying a rare, leisurely breakfast when Jack walked in, plonked himself down at the kitchen table, and dropped the proverbial bombshell.
“I’m pregnant.”
Ianto immediately choked on the bite of toast he’d just taken, so Jack had to get up again and part him on the back until he stopped coughing. Eyes watering, Ianto grabbed his mug, downed half of his coffee to wash away any stray crumbs, and was finally able to speak.
“You’re what?” He stared at his lover in disbelief.
“Pregnant.”
“That’s what I thought you said. How is that even possible? You told me it couldn’t happen. ‘Contraceptives in the rain,’ you said!”
“Look, it’s not all my fault! It takes two, and besides, you’re the one who brought me the umbrella and insisted I used it, so if you think about it, you…”
“…inadvertently cut off your contraception, then knocked you up?”
“I probably wouldn’t have used those exact words, but yes, that about covers it. What are we going to do?” Jack reached for Ianto’s coffee to take a fortifying swig, but Ianto moved it out of his reach.
“Well, for a start you’re switching to decaf, or tea,” he said firmly. “Too much caffeine would be bad for our baby. We don’t want him or her to be born addicted to caffeine.”
“You’re okay with it? Having a baby?”
“Of course I am, twpsyn! I always wanted kids, it’s just a bit sooner than I’d expected.” Ianto grinned, excitement starting to take over from the shock. “We’re having a baby! I’m going to be a daddy and you’re going to be…” He caught sight of the expression on Jack’s face and quickly changed what he’d been going to say, “the other parent who definitely isn’t a mummy. Um, the birth father?”
Jack wrinkled his nose. “Sounds like the baby Mafia!”
“Birth parent then.”
“That’s a bit better, I guess.”
Ianto waved a hand vaguely. “We’ve got a while to work on that, it’s not important right now.” Reaching for his laptop, he turned it on. “First things first, I think I’d better revise Torchwood’s maternity policy to include pregnant men.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Ianto immediately choked on the bite of toast he’d just taken, so Jack had to get up again and part him on the back until he stopped coughing. Eyes watering, Ianto grabbed his mug, downed half of his coffee to wash away any stray crumbs, and was finally able to speak.
“You’re what?” He stared at his lover in disbelief.
“Pregnant.”
“That’s what I thought you said. How is that even possible? You told me it couldn’t happen. ‘Contraceptives in the rain,’ you said!”
“Look, it’s not all my fault! It takes two, and besides, you’re the one who brought me the umbrella and insisted I used it, so if you think about it, you…”
“…inadvertently cut off your contraception, then knocked you up?”
“I probably wouldn’t have used those exact words, but yes, that about covers it. What are we going to do?” Jack reached for Ianto’s coffee to take a fortifying swig, but Ianto moved it out of his reach.
“Well, for a start you’re switching to decaf, or tea,” he said firmly. “Too much caffeine would be bad for our baby. We don’t want him or her to be born addicted to caffeine.”
“You’re okay with it? Having a baby?”
“Of course I am, twpsyn! I always wanted kids, it’s just a bit sooner than I’d expected.” Ianto grinned, excitement starting to take over from the shock. “We’re having a baby! I’m going to be a daddy and you’re going to be…” He caught sight of the expression on Jack’s face and quickly changed what he’d been going to say, “the other parent who definitely isn’t a mummy. Um, the birth father?”
Jack wrinkled his nose. “Sounds like the baby Mafia!”
“Birth parent then.”
“That’s a bit better, I guess.”
Ianto waved a hand vaguely. “We’ve got a while to work on that, it’s not important right now.” Reaching for his laptop, he turned it on. “First things first, I think I’d better revise Torchwood’s maternity policy to include pregnant men.”
The End
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