Ficlet: No Regrets
Title: No Regrets
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Tosh, Team Torchwood
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Fragments, Exit Wounds.
Summary: Tosh knows she’s dying, but she has no real regrets.
Word Count: 418
Written For: wallwalker’s prompt ‘Any, Any, “I love the cause that slew me”,’ at
fic_promptly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.
Tosh is painfully aware that she’s dying; she’s losing so much blood and there’s no one to stop the flow, remove the bullet and repair all the damage it has caused. Owen is trapped in the nuclear plant, about to be obliterated by radiation; at least he’s stopped raging now and seems to have accepted his fate. She should do no less; after all, if she must die, she couldn’t be in better company, despite the distance that separates them. He says it’s alright, and he’s right; it is.
Everything fades out for a moment, and then the rest of the team is there, clustered around the med bay. Jack is holding her with tremendous gentleness and care; Gwen is trying to save her. Tosh would laugh if she could; there’s nothing Gwen, with her knowledge of basic first aid, can do to help but it doesn’t stop her trying. The painkillers are nice though. Ianto stands against the wall, looking stricken and helpless. He understands there’s nothing anyone can do for her, knows she’s going to die, but he won’t say goodbye. She admires that. He knows her better than anyone, and she knows him the same way; they’re best friends, after all, and they’ve shared so much over the years. He’ll want to stay strong for the others; they’ll need him to hold them together.
Five years ago, Jack saved her from a bare little cell in a UNIT prison. He gave her a new life and a new purpose, a job that showed her wonder and horror in equal measure. If she’d remained in the prison, she would have had no life and no future; now she has no future, but short as it’s been, she’s had such a life, and she wouldn’t change that for anything, even if she could.
Torchwood became her home, her teammates closer than family. It was a crazy ride, and it wasn’t all fun, but she loved it all the same with a passion she can’t even begin to explain. Now it will be the death of her, but she can’t find it in herself to regret any of it, except maybe that she didn’t tell Owen how she felt sooner. Would it have changed anything? Probably not.
Anyway, he’s gone now and she’s about to join him. If there’s an afterlife, perhaps they’ll meet again; she hopes so.
Smiling at her friends one last time, she closes her eyes, and then it’s over.
She knows she did good.
The End