Fic: The Other Ianto
Title: The Other Ianto
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, OMC, Jack, Another Ianto.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: The police take Ianto in for questioning about a bizarre incident, but fortunately, he has a rock-solid alibi, so he couldn’t have been involved. Or could he?
Word Count: 2178
Written For: Prompt 225 - Alibi at fandomweekly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.
Getting arrested wasn’t particularly unusual for anyone associated with Torchwood. It was something Ianto Jones considered an occupational hazard, although most of the time the one being arrested was Jack, who seemed to have a talent for landing himself in trouble with the police. It was never intentional, and he certainly didn’t enjoy it, judging by how much he complained whenever Ianto had to bail him out, but it still happened with disturbing regularity.
Now that Ianto thought about it, maybe it was Jack who was the occupational hazard. Prior to today, every time Ianto himself had been arrested, it had been in association with Jack, mostly because Jack had an insidious way of undermining Ianto’s better judgement and persuading him to do things that he would normally never consider.
Unfortunately, this time Ianto wasn’t able to blame his arrest on his lover, at least not yet, since so far, he hadn’t been filled in on all the facts. When he did find out the details of whatever he was being charged with, he wouldn’t be at all surprised if he discovered that Jack DID have something to do with it, but for the moment he’d have to reserve judgement.
Technically, at least according to Andy, who’s been the one to bring him in, he wasn’t currently under arrest, although that could still change. He was simply assisting the police with their enquiries by voluntarily going to the station to answer a few questions and take part in a line-up. He was going along with it because he couldn’t think of any reason not to, and anyway, cooperating with the police was something that, in most cases, would be in Torchwood’s best interests. In the spirit of creating a better relationship between Torchwood and the Cardiff Heddlu, he felt obliged to lead by example, or at least try to. Hopefully it wouldn’t land him in worse trouble.
So, first the line-up, in which he was identified by two separate witnesses as the man they claimed to have seen. Not particularly surprising, considering how often he was out and about around Cardiff, with or without other members of the team. Next came the questioning, sitting with two police officers in a poky, grey interview room, but all that did was leave him even more baffled than before.
He stared at the man across from him in confusion. “I’m sorry, would you mind repeating that?”
“According to several witnesses, you were seen streaking across City Hall lawn on the morning of Wednesday, September twenty-seventh, shortly after seven, before plunging into and through the fountains. You then ran past the South African War Memorial, and into the trees at the far side of King Edward VII Avenue,” the investigating officer, DI Spencer, repeated.
Ianto sat back in his seat with a puzzled frown. “Well, that doesn’t sound at all like me.” Like Jack, maybe, although when Jack streaked through any part of Cardiff it usually wasn’t strictly by choice. Bizarre things tended to happen to his clothing, especially when exposed to certain alien substances.
“The descriptions the witnesses gave match you, Mr Jones, and you were positively identified in the line-up, although both witnesses said that the man they’d seen had longer hair and a goatee.”
“Someone is definitely mistaken then. I’ve never had a goatee, or any kind of beard, and I have my hair trimmed every two months, to keep it short. In fact, I went to the barber only a couple of weeks ago.”
“We will, of course, check into that, if you’ll give us the name of your barber, and the time and date of your appointment.”
“Not a problem.” Ianto pulled out his phone and provided the Inspector with the relevant information. Then he paused, his frown deepening. “Wait a minute… You said this happened on Wednesday the twenty-seventh?
“I did.”
“In that case, I can prove that it couldn’t have been me. I was in London; I took the train down Tuesday evening for a breakfast meeting with His Majesty, and I stayed at the Palace overnight. Breakfast was at seven-thirty sharp. The King is a stickler for punctuality, so while this person who resembles me was taking his morning run, I was being escorted to the King’s dining room. I’m sure if you check with Buckingham Palace, they’ll confirm I was there, and I think you’ll agree I could hardly be in both places at the same time.”
Spencer looked a little taken aback, as well he might; not many people could claim the recently crowned King of England as their alibi. “Ah, well, we will of course check your alibi, so I’d suggest you don’t leave town for the time being, but if it all checks out, it would appear that you have a lookalike.”
“Well, they do say that everyone has a double somewhere in the world, but what are the odds that mine would show up here?”
“Not my field of expertise,” Spencer admitted.
“No, not mine either.” Ianto gave a wry smile. Tosh could have probably told him, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
DI Spencer rose to his feet and offered Ianto his hand. “I apologise for taking up your time.”
“That’s quite alright, Detective Inspector, I’m happy to help, even if all I’ve done is leave you with more questions. I must admit I’m curious about my doppelganger, and why he decided to run naked through Cardiff in September. The weather’s been somewhat chilly recently; I wouldn’t have thought stripping off and playing in a fountain was especially advisable. That would be a good way to catch a chill. You might want to check local hospitals, see if anyone’s been treated for exposure since Wednesday morning.”
Spencer nodded. “I’ll have that looked into. Well, thank you for coming in, Mr Jones. You’re free to go. Constable Griffiths will show you out.”
“Thank you. I hope you catch this mystery streaker soon. I’m not sure I like the thought of someone with my face running around Cardiff, breaking the law. That kind of thing won’t do my reputation much good.”
“No, I don’t imagine it would.”
“Call me if I can help with anything else.” With that, Ianto strode from the interrogation room and out of the building, heading for the Hub.
With everything that had happened so far, Ianto wasn’t overly surprised to arrive at Torchwood Three’s underground base and find himself already there, albeit with longer hair and sporting a goatee. It looked good on him. He raised one eyebrow, looking from the other him, to Jack, and back again.
“Since I’ve already spent some time with the police and supplied myself with an ironclad alibi for last Wednesday, perhaps someone might fill me in on what’s going on?”
“He’s you. From the future,” Jack explained helpfully, drawing matching eyerolls from both Iantos.
“I’d gathered that much,” Ianto said. “What I’d like to know is why future me was running naked through fountains early last Wednesday morning. I wouldn’t have thought that particularly advisable; it’s really not the weather for it.”
“I know,” said the other Ianto. “It was bloody freezing! But, unfortunately for me, also necessary. You got yourself into this, you had to get yourself out of it, the whole cause and effect deal. I remembered your side of the event; from my future point of view, it had already happened, so I had to make sure it did. Jack… his future self, that is, brought me back in time to the right date and dropped me off a few hours early.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “So you just hung around for a bit, then took all your clothes off and streaked through the fountains?” That was the part he was having trouble with.
“Not exactly. I was keeping out of sight, waiting for the right time, when there was a Rift flare just a few feet from where I was hiding. A Gorshuk came through, attacked me, and… well, you know what that’s like. It spat corrosive saliva all over me, which made my clothes start melting, so I ripped them off as fast as I could and ran for the nearest water to neutralise the effects. Only just avoided being seen by the rest of the team when they came to deal with the Gorshuk.”
Jack was grinning. “Imagine my surprise when I discovered a very naked future you, hiding in some bushes, turning blue with cold, and shivering so hard I thought he might shake himself to pieces. Naturally, I had to keep him hidden until after you were questioned, to keep from messing up the timelines.”
“Oh of course,” Ianto agreed. “That explains everything.”
“We’re just waiting now for future me to pick up future you,” Jack added.
“Like I told Jack, I remember all of this, so I had to stick around until after the explanations. My Jack should be along in an hour or two, and then I’ll be out if your hair. You’ll never have to think about this again until you’re me.”
“Right, well, that’s good. Nice meeting me. I like the goatee, by the way. It suits us.” Ianto smiled serenely at the other him; weird though this might be, it wasn’t even close to being the most bizarre experience he’d ever had. “I’ll just make us all some coffee, shall I?”
“God, yes please!” the other Ianto said. “Jack wouldn’t let me use the coffee machine. I’ve had to make do with takeaway from the shop across the Plas. It’s not bad, I suppose, I’ve had worse, but it’s not up to our usual standards.”
Ianto looked at Jack, eyebrow raised. “You didn’t trust future me with my coffee machine?”
“You get mad when anyone other than you touches it!”
“Of course I do, because the rest of you don’t have a clue what you’re doing, but he’s me; he knows everything I know. If there’s anyone I’d trust with my coffee machine, it’s myself.”
“That’s what I told him,” Ianto’s other self grumbled. “But he wouldn’t budge, and anyway, I had to keep out of sight. Couldn’t have you seeing me before the police questioned you.”
Jack looked helplessly at his Ianto. “What else could I do? If I’d let him make coffee, you would’ve known someone had been using your precious machine, and accused me, or one of the team, of messing about with it.”
“I suppose that’s true.” Ianto gave the other him an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”
“Not your fault, and it’s only been a few days anyway.”
“A few days can seem like forever without decent coffee. I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here.”
It didn’t take Ianto long to fix everyone’s coffee exactly how they liked it. He sat beside Jack on the sofa while the other Ianto borrowed the chair from Tosh’s workstation. “Perfect, as always,” future Ianto said as he sipped from his mug.
“Of course. Isn’t it always? I know how I take my coffee. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope you’ll be gone by the time the rest of the team arrive. It was a big enough pain explaining why there were two of me the last time something like this happened. This time we’re not even identical.”
“Then we’d better get out of your hair,” a familiar voice said cheerfully, and they turned to see Jack’s twin coming in through the garage entrance. “Hope you don’t mind me barging in.”
Jack beamed at his future self. “I still remember my access codes, I see.”
“It’s not like we ever change them.” Future Jack turned to his Ianto. “Everything go alright then?”
Future Ianto shrugged, unconcerned. “Aside from having that Gorshuk dissolve my clothes. Just so you know, I’m not going anywhere until I’ve finished my coffee.”
“Still as stubborn as ever.”
“You wouldn’t want me any other way.”
Ianto smirked agreement with his other self, raising his coffee mug in a toast. Future Ianto did likewise, before draining his mug and setting it down on the coffee table.
“Well, as fun as this has been, I think it’s time we were off. Right, Jack?”
“I suppose. It’s a shame though. Just think of the possibilities! Two of you, two of me…” Future Jack trailed off, leering.
Both Iantos rolled their eyes. “Definitely time we were going,” future Ianto said as he joined his Jack. “Before you complicate matters.”
“Spoilsport. You never let me have any fun.” Pouting in a very familiar way, future Jack flipped open his wrist strap and pressed a few buttons. “Well, so long. Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do!” There was a brief flare of golden light, and then they were gone.
Ianto sighed as he began gathering the empty coffee mugs for washing.
“Are you okay?” Jack asked.
“Fine, why wouldn’t I be? It’s just… someday in the future I’ll have to run stark naked through the fountains in front of City Hall on a cold September morning. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it.”
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, OMC, Jack, Another Ianto.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: The police take Ianto in for questioning about a bizarre incident, but fortunately, he has a rock-solid alibi, so he couldn’t have been involved. Or could he?
Word Count: 2178
Written For: Prompt 225 - Alibi at fandomweekly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.
Getting arrested wasn’t particularly unusual for anyone associated with Torchwood. It was something Ianto Jones considered an occupational hazard, although most of the time the one being arrested was Jack, who seemed to have a talent for landing himself in trouble with the police. It was never intentional, and he certainly didn’t enjoy it, judging by how much he complained whenever Ianto had to bail him out, but it still happened with disturbing regularity.
Now that Ianto thought about it, maybe it was Jack who was the occupational hazard. Prior to today, every time Ianto himself had been arrested, it had been in association with Jack, mostly because Jack had an insidious way of undermining Ianto’s better judgement and persuading him to do things that he would normally never consider.
Unfortunately, this time Ianto wasn’t able to blame his arrest on his lover, at least not yet, since so far, he hadn’t been filled in on all the facts. When he did find out the details of whatever he was being charged with, he wouldn’t be at all surprised if he discovered that Jack DID have something to do with it, but for the moment he’d have to reserve judgement.
Technically, at least according to Andy, who’s been the one to bring him in, he wasn’t currently under arrest, although that could still change. He was simply assisting the police with their enquiries by voluntarily going to the station to answer a few questions and take part in a line-up. He was going along with it because he couldn’t think of any reason not to, and anyway, cooperating with the police was something that, in most cases, would be in Torchwood’s best interests. In the spirit of creating a better relationship between Torchwood and the Cardiff Heddlu, he felt obliged to lead by example, or at least try to. Hopefully it wouldn’t land him in worse trouble.
So, first the line-up, in which he was identified by two separate witnesses as the man they claimed to have seen. Not particularly surprising, considering how often he was out and about around Cardiff, with or without other members of the team. Next came the questioning, sitting with two police officers in a poky, grey interview room, but all that did was leave him even more baffled than before.
He stared at the man across from him in confusion. “I’m sorry, would you mind repeating that?”
“According to several witnesses, you were seen streaking across City Hall lawn on the morning of Wednesday, September twenty-seventh, shortly after seven, before plunging into and through the fountains. You then ran past the South African War Memorial, and into the trees at the far side of King Edward VII Avenue,” the investigating officer, DI Spencer, repeated.
Ianto sat back in his seat with a puzzled frown. “Well, that doesn’t sound at all like me.” Like Jack, maybe, although when Jack streaked through any part of Cardiff it usually wasn’t strictly by choice. Bizarre things tended to happen to his clothing, especially when exposed to certain alien substances.
“The descriptions the witnesses gave match you, Mr Jones, and you were positively identified in the line-up, although both witnesses said that the man they’d seen had longer hair and a goatee.”
“Someone is definitely mistaken then. I’ve never had a goatee, or any kind of beard, and I have my hair trimmed every two months, to keep it short. In fact, I went to the barber only a couple of weeks ago.”
“We will, of course, check into that, if you’ll give us the name of your barber, and the time and date of your appointment.”
“Not a problem.” Ianto pulled out his phone and provided the Inspector with the relevant information. Then he paused, his frown deepening. “Wait a minute… You said this happened on Wednesday the twenty-seventh?
“I did.”
“In that case, I can prove that it couldn’t have been me. I was in London; I took the train down Tuesday evening for a breakfast meeting with His Majesty, and I stayed at the Palace overnight. Breakfast was at seven-thirty sharp. The King is a stickler for punctuality, so while this person who resembles me was taking his morning run, I was being escorted to the King’s dining room. I’m sure if you check with Buckingham Palace, they’ll confirm I was there, and I think you’ll agree I could hardly be in both places at the same time.”
Spencer looked a little taken aback, as well he might; not many people could claim the recently crowned King of England as their alibi. “Ah, well, we will of course check your alibi, so I’d suggest you don’t leave town for the time being, but if it all checks out, it would appear that you have a lookalike.”
“Well, they do say that everyone has a double somewhere in the world, but what are the odds that mine would show up here?”
“Not my field of expertise,” Spencer admitted.
“No, not mine either.” Ianto gave a wry smile. Tosh could have probably told him, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
DI Spencer rose to his feet and offered Ianto his hand. “I apologise for taking up your time.”
“That’s quite alright, Detective Inspector, I’m happy to help, even if all I’ve done is leave you with more questions. I must admit I’m curious about my doppelganger, and why he decided to run naked through Cardiff in September. The weather’s been somewhat chilly recently; I wouldn’t have thought stripping off and playing in a fountain was especially advisable. That would be a good way to catch a chill. You might want to check local hospitals, see if anyone’s been treated for exposure since Wednesday morning.”
Spencer nodded. “I’ll have that looked into. Well, thank you for coming in, Mr Jones. You’re free to go. Constable Griffiths will show you out.”
“Thank you. I hope you catch this mystery streaker soon. I’m not sure I like the thought of someone with my face running around Cardiff, breaking the law. That kind of thing won’t do my reputation much good.”
“No, I don’t imagine it would.”
“Call me if I can help with anything else.” With that, Ianto strode from the interrogation room and out of the building, heading for the Hub.
With everything that had happened so far, Ianto wasn’t overly surprised to arrive at Torchwood Three’s underground base and find himself already there, albeit with longer hair and sporting a goatee. It looked good on him. He raised one eyebrow, looking from the other him, to Jack, and back again.
“Since I’ve already spent some time with the police and supplied myself with an ironclad alibi for last Wednesday, perhaps someone might fill me in on what’s going on?”
“He’s you. From the future,” Jack explained helpfully, drawing matching eyerolls from both Iantos.
“I’d gathered that much,” Ianto said. “What I’d like to know is why future me was running naked through fountains early last Wednesday morning. I wouldn’t have thought that particularly advisable; it’s really not the weather for it.”
“I know,” said the other Ianto. “It was bloody freezing! But, unfortunately for me, also necessary. You got yourself into this, you had to get yourself out of it, the whole cause and effect deal. I remembered your side of the event; from my future point of view, it had already happened, so I had to make sure it did. Jack… his future self, that is, brought me back in time to the right date and dropped me off a few hours early.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “So you just hung around for a bit, then took all your clothes off and streaked through the fountains?” That was the part he was having trouble with.
“Not exactly. I was keeping out of sight, waiting for the right time, when there was a Rift flare just a few feet from where I was hiding. A Gorshuk came through, attacked me, and… well, you know what that’s like. It spat corrosive saliva all over me, which made my clothes start melting, so I ripped them off as fast as I could and ran for the nearest water to neutralise the effects. Only just avoided being seen by the rest of the team when they came to deal with the Gorshuk.”
Jack was grinning. “Imagine my surprise when I discovered a very naked future you, hiding in some bushes, turning blue with cold, and shivering so hard I thought he might shake himself to pieces. Naturally, I had to keep him hidden until after you were questioned, to keep from messing up the timelines.”
“Oh of course,” Ianto agreed. “That explains everything.”
“We’re just waiting now for future me to pick up future you,” Jack added.
“Like I told Jack, I remember all of this, so I had to stick around until after the explanations. My Jack should be along in an hour or two, and then I’ll be out if your hair. You’ll never have to think about this again until you’re me.”
“Right, well, that’s good. Nice meeting me. I like the goatee, by the way. It suits us.” Ianto smiled serenely at the other him; weird though this might be, it wasn’t even close to being the most bizarre experience he’d ever had. “I’ll just make us all some coffee, shall I?”
“God, yes please!” the other Ianto said. “Jack wouldn’t let me use the coffee machine. I’ve had to make do with takeaway from the shop across the Plas. It’s not bad, I suppose, I’ve had worse, but it’s not up to our usual standards.”
Ianto looked at Jack, eyebrow raised. “You didn’t trust future me with my coffee machine?”
“You get mad when anyone other than you touches it!”
“Of course I do, because the rest of you don’t have a clue what you’re doing, but he’s me; he knows everything I know. If there’s anyone I’d trust with my coffee machine, it’s myself.”
“That’s what I told him,” Ianto’s other self grumbled. “But he wouldn’t budge, and anyway, I had to keep out of sight. Couldn’t have you seeing me before the police questioned you.”
Jack looked helplessly at his Ianto. “What else could I do? If I’d let him make coffee, you would’ve known someone had been using your precious machine, and accused me, or one of the team, of messing about with it.”
“I suppose that’s true.” Ianto gave the other him an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”
“Not your fault, and it’s only been a few days anyway.”
“A few days can seem like forever without decent coffee. I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here.”
It didn’t take Ianto long to fix everyone’s coffee exactly how they liked it. He sat beside Jack on the sofa while the other Ianto borrowed the chair from Tosh’s workstation. “Perfect, as always,” future Ianto said as he sipped from his mug.
“Of course. Isn’t it always? I know how I take my coffee. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope you’ll be gone by the time the rest of the team arrive. It was a big enough pain explaining why there were two of me the last time something like this happened. This time we’re not even identical.”
“Then we’d better get out of your hair,” a familiar voice said cheerfully, and they turned to see Jack’s twin coming in through the garage entrance. “Hope you don’t mind me barging in.”
Jack beamed at his future self. “I still remember my access codes, I see.”
“It’s not like we ever change them.” Future Jack turned to his Ianto. “Everything go alright then?”
Future Ianto shrugged, unconcerned. “Aside from having that Gorshuk dissolve my clothes. Just so you know, I’m not going anywhere until I’ve finished my coffee.”
“Still as stubborn as ever.”
“You wouldn’t want me any other way.”
Ianto smirked agreement with his other self, raising his coffee mug in a toast. Future Ianto did likewise, before draining his mug and setting it down on the coffee table.
“Well, as fun as this has been, I think it’s time we were off. Right, Jack?”
“I suppose. It’s a shame though. Just think of the possibilities! Two of you, two of me…” Future Jack trailed off, leering.
Both Iantos rolled their eyes. “Definitely time we were going,” future Ianto said as he joined his Jack. “Before you complicate matters.”
“Spoilsport. You never let me have any fun.” Pouting in a very familiar way, future Jack flipped open his wrist strap and pressed a few buttons. “Well, so long. Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do!” There was a brief flare of golden light, and then they were gone.
Ianto sighed as he began gathering the empty coffee mugs for washing.
“Are you okay?” Jack asked.
“Fine, why wouldn’t I be? It’s just… someday in the future I’ll have to run stark naked through the fountains in front of City Hall on a cold September morning. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it.”
The End