Ficlet: Hypervodka Is Evil
Title: Hypervodka Is Evil
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Ianto wakes up the morning after with no memory of the night before.
Word Count: 500
Written For: Prompt 277: Blackout at anythingdrabble.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: Set in my Ghost of a Chance ‘Verse.
Ianto wasn’t in the habit of getting blackout drunk. He hadn’t been since his teens, except on rare occasions when he didn’t have work the next day, because Yvonne wouldn’t have been impressed, and after that he’d had Lisa to care for, and then… Okay, so he’d got plastered a few times after the Cyberman was killed, but it hadn’t helped, just made him feel worse.
That had been a long time ago though, and unless he was having a really weird and detailed dream, he wasn’t even on earth anymore. He and Jack were travelling the universe on their spaceship, two footloose immortals with all of time and space ahead of them, which was why waking up this morning had been such a shock.
He had no idea where he was, although it didn’t feel like their quarters aboard the Wanderer; the bed was way too big. Unfortunately, he couldn’t look around for clues since he was apparently temporarily blind. What was it Jack had said a few minutes ago? Oh yeah, how he remembered: “Welcome to your first Hypervodka hangover.”
Ianto slapped at Jack, who was somewhere on the bed with him, but missed since he couldn’t see where he was aiming. Not that he could have aimed particularly well even if he hadn’t currently been blind; the messages were taking forever to get from his brain to his limbs, making his movements sluggish and weak.
“You got me drunk last night,” he grumbled.
“Yes I did.”
To Ianto’s mind, Jack sounded WAY too cheerful.
“Not just a bit drunk, but so drunk I don’t even remember where we are or why we were drinking!” It seemed a little unfair that Jack knew more about their present situation than Ianto did, and was totally fine with it.
“The most luxurious suite of the best hotel in the Golden City on Peruschna,” Jack said dreamily.
“What?”
“You said you didn’t know where we are. Now you do.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Ianto remained silent for a few minutes, except for his stomach rumbling hungrily, then… “Why are we here?”
“We picked up a last-minute cargo at our last port of call. It was just a short hop out of our way, we can get back on schedule easily enough.”
“So why are we in a hotel instead of on our ship?” Some days, getting information out of Jack was like getting blood from a stone.
“Golden City!” Jack said. “Called that because of all the daffodils in bloom. When you saw them, you wanted to go sightseeing.”
“And then we got drunk out of our heads? That makes no sense.”
“We were celebrating.” A warm arm found its way around Ianto’s body.
“Celebrating?”
“You really don’t remember? You said it would be the perfect place for a wedding, so we got married. Again.”
“We did?”
“Yep!”
“Well that sucks.”
“What?” Jack’s arm withdrew.
“I don’t remember our wedding!” Ianto pouted. “Do you think they’d let us do it again?”
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Ianto wakes up the morning after with no memory of the night before.
Word Count: 500
Written For: Prompt 277: Blackout at anythingdrabble.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: Set in my Ghost of a Chance ‘Verse.
Ianto wasn’t in the habit of getting blackout drunk. He hadn’t been since his teens, except on rare occasions when he didn’t have work the next day, because Yvonne wouldn’t have been impressed, and after that he’d had Lisa to care for, and then… Okay, so he’d got plastered a few times after the Cyberman was killed, but it hadn’t helped, just made him feel worse.
That had been a long time ago though, and unless he was having a really weird and detailed dream, he wasn’t even on earth anymore. He and Jack were travelling the universe on their spaceship, two footloose immortals with all of time and space ahead of them, which was why waking up this morning had been such a shock.
He had no idea where he was, although it didn’t feel like their quarters aboard the Wanderer; the bed was way too big. Unfortunately, he couldn’t look around for clues since he was apparently temporarily blind. What was it Jack had said a few minutes ago? Oh yeah, how he remembered: “Welcome to your first Hypervodka hangover.”
Ianto slapped at Jack, who was somewhere on the bed with him, but missed since he couldn’t see where he was aiming. Not that he could have aimed particularly well even if he hadn’t currently been blind; the messages were taking forever to get from his brain to his limbs, making his movements sluggish and weak.
“You got me drunk last night,” he grumbled.
“Yes I did.”
To Ianto’s mind, Jack sounded WAY too cheerful.
“Not just a bit drunk, but so drunk I don’t even remember where we are or why we were drinking!” It seemed a little unfair that Jack knew more about their present situation than Ianto did, and was totally fine with it.
“The most luxurious suite of the best hotel in the Golden City on Peruschna,” Jack said dreamily.
“What?”
“You said you didn’t know where we are. Now you do.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Ianto remained silent for a few minutes, except for his stomach rumbling hungrily, then… “Why are we here?”
“We picked up a last-minute cargo at our last port of call. It was just a short hop out of our way, we can get back on schedule easily enough.”
“So why are we in a hotel instead of on our ship?” Some days, getting information out of Jack was like getting blood from a stone.
“Golden City!” Jack said. “Called that because of all the daffodils in bloom. When you saw them, you wanted to go sightseeing.”
“And then we got drunk out of our heads? That makes no sense.”
“We were celebrating.” A warm arm found its way around Ianto’s body.
“Celebrating?”
“You really don’t remember? You said it would be the perfect place for a wedding, so we got married. Again.”
“We did?”
“Yep!”
“Well that sucks.”
“What?” Jack’s arm withdrew.
“I don’t remember our wedding!” Ianto pouted. “Do you think they’d let us do it again?”
The End