FAKE Fic: Christmas Wishes
Title: Christmas Wishes
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ryo, Bikky, Dee, Ryo’s parents.
Rating: PG
Setting: After Like Like Love.
Summary: It’s Christmas Eve, and once again Ryo is home alone. Or is he?
Word Count: 1414
Written For: Jae's Monthly Drabble Challenge 202 - Longing.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
Christmas always filled Ryo with mixed emotions. Growing up, he’d loved everything about the holiday season; the festivities, the tree and all the decorations, the carols, the feast his parents cooked up, and of course the presents. What kid didn’t love having a pile of gaily wrapped toys and games to open on Christmas morning? Santa never let him down, or so he’d thought, until he’d found out that his parents were the real gift givers.
There’d been so much fun and laughter throughout those childhood Christmases, when he’d still been young and innocent enough to believe he and his family would always be that happy. Even when he’d been in his teens, and his parents were often gone for months at a time on business trips, buying art in Europe and other parts of the world, he hadn’t minded. He’d been secure in the knowledge that they’d always be home in time for Christmas, and they had been, right up until the last time, a month after he’d turned eighteen. They’d tried, but they hadn’t made it, gunned down on their way from the airport. Just like that, Ryo had lost the two people he’d loved most in the world; nothing had ever hurt worse.
After that first devastating Christmas, which he’d spent alone with no festivities or decorations of any kind, he’d spent the holiday season either with his aunt and uncle or surrounded by his friends. Having company always helped to keep the memories of that awful time at bay, and he did his best to appear happy and carefree.
Then he’d passed his detective’s exam, been assigned to a new precinct, taken in an orphaned ten-year-old boy, and once again his life had been turned upside down, this time in a good way.
That first Christmas after Bikky moved in had started out kind of bleak; Ryo had been scheduled to work late, and so, not wanting Bikky to be alone on Christmas Eve, he’d packed the boy off to spend the night with Carol and her aunt. Work had wound up being a bust though, and he’d arrived home far earlier than expected to an empty apartment. He might have spent the whole night wallowing in misery if Dee hadn’t shown up to keep him company. Looking back, that might have been the night he’d started to fall in love with his partner.
Since then, Christmas had become more like the ones he remembered from his own childhood, only now he was the parent, creating his own traditions with his son and with Dee. It was good to have people to share the festive season with; they were his family now. That didn’t mean he’d forgotten his parents; he could never do that, they were too much a part of him. He still missed them all the time, and that was especially true around Christmas. There were inevitably times when he found it difficult to keep up the appearance of being filled with holiday cheer, and he had yet to make it through the whole of Christmas without shedding a few tears, but at least Dee and Bikky understood.
The last few years had been the best since Ryo had been a kid, only now it was Christmas Eve again, and even though Bikky was home from college for the holidays, he’d gone over to Carol’s to spend the night.
Ryo didn’t blame Bikky for preferring to spend time with his girl instead of hanging out at the apartment by himself; it was perfectly understandable. Nobody wanted to spend the Eve on their own, especially if they could be with someone they loved.
Christmas was always a busy time of year for the NYPD, and Ryo and Dee had both been on second shift, meaning neither one of them should have been home until after midnight. Dee was no doubt still at the precinct, finishing out his shift, but Ryo had suffered a minor injury during an arrest, and after three hours sitting around at the ER waiting to be treated, he’d finally been patched up and sent home.
The apartment he shared with Dee was so much bigger than his old one, although it never felt particularly big when his partner was there with him. Dee had a way of filling all available space with his presence, but here Ryo was, all alone, and feeling a little bit lost. Surrounded by Christmas decorations and lights, he was as gloomy as he had been eight years ago, facing another lonely Christmas Eve with nothing but his thoughts and memories for company. He wished Dee was there with him, or Bikky and Carol, but more than anything else, he found himself wishing he could have spent one more Christmas with his parents.
That particular longing had never really gone away; every single year it was there in the background, a wish that could never be granted. As long as he had people around him, he could push it to the back of his mind, but that was a whole lot harder to do when he was rattling around at home with nothing to distract him.
He considered calling his aunt and uncle in San Francisco before remembering that they’d decided to take a Christmas cruise this year. They’d be somewhere in the Caribbean, enjoying the sunshine, while he was in dreary, rainy New York, with a bump on the head, a wrenched shoulder, and a wrist that was thankfully only badly sprained and not broken. It didn’t make him inclined to feel cheerful.
Slumping onto the sofa, waiting for the painkillers the hospital had prescribed to kick in, and the mug of tea steaming on the end table to cool enough to be drinkable, Ryo tried to relax, leaning his head back against the cushions and closing his eyes. He’d left the overhead light off, so the room was illuminated only by twinkling fairy lights on the tree, and the reading lamp he’d turned on when he’d come in.
With his eyes shut, he could imagine himself back in his childhood home. He could almost hear the log fire crackling in the grate, smell the familiar scents he associated with Christmas when he was a boy, hear his mom humming along with carols playing on the radio, and his dad’s deep, warm laughter. The memories washed over him, filling him with a weird mixture of sadness and delight. They seemed so real he almost felt if he opened his eyes, he’d find he'd been transported back in time, but he kept them closed; he didn’t think he could stand to be disappointed.
He loved the apartment he and Dee shared, it was home, and he was happy living there with the man he loved more than anything. This was where he belonged now. Nevertheless, he knew a part of him would always long for the home he’d grown up in. Back when he’d lived there everything had been so much simpler, and the outside world a lot less scary.
“I miss you,” he told his parents, speaking out loud in the silence of the empty apartment. “I think about you all the time, but especially on Christmas. I wish you were still here.”
“We know, son,” he thought he heard his dad say.
“But we’re always with you,” his mom added. “We always will be, whenever you need us. We’re so proud of you, and we love you.” He thought he felt a feather-soft kiss brush his forehead and he smiled.
“Love you too, both of you. I wish I’d told you that more often, but I always thought there’d be more time.”
“You didn’t need to tell us; we always knew,” his father assured him.
The conversation, brief though it was, seemed so real that Ryo couldn’t tell whether or not he was dreaming. Maybe it was some sort of hallucination caused by the painkillers he’d taken; it wouldn’t be the first time he’d suffered weird side effects from prescription meds. Or maybe it was just the wind gusting outside, blowing rain against the windows. Either way, perhaps it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be spending the whole night alone; Dee would be home in a couple more hours, and until then, whether what he was experiencing was real or simply imagined, he had his parents for company.
“Happy Christmas,” he murmured.
As his tea cooled forgotten on the end table, Ryo drifted off to sleep and dreamed of home.
The End
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ryo, Bikky, Dee, Ryo’s parents.
Rating: PG
Setting: After Like Like Love.
Summary: It’s Christmas Eve, and once again Ryo is home alone. Or is he?
Word Count: 1414
Written For: Jae's Monthly Drabble Challenge 202 - Longing.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
Christmas always filled Ryo with mixed emotions. Growing up, he’d loved everything about the holiday season; the festivities, the tree and all the decorations, the carols, the feast his parents cooked up, and of course the presents. What kid didn’t love having a pile of gaily wrapped toys and games to open on Christmas morning? Santa never let him down, or so he’d thought, until he’d found out that his parents were the real gift givers.
There’d been so much fun and laughter throughout those childhood Christmases, when he’d still been young and innocent enough to believe he and his family would always be that happy. Even when he’d been in his teens, and his parents were often gone for months at a time on business trips, buying art in Europe and other parts of the world, he hadn’t minded. He’d been secure in the knowledge that they’d always be home in time for Christmas, and they had been, right up until the last time, a month after he’d turned eighteen. They’d tried, but they hadn’t made it, gunned down on their way from the airport. Just like that, Ryo had lost the two people he’d loved most in the world; nothing had ever hurt worse.
After that first devastating Christmas, which he’d spent alone with no festivities or decorations of any kind, he’d spent the holiday season either with his aunt and uncle or surrounded by his friends. Having company always helped to keep the memories of that awful time at bay, and he did his best to appear happy and carefree.
Then he’d passed his detective’s exam, been assigned to a new precinct, taken in an orphaned ten-year-old boy, and once again his life had been turned upside down, this time in a good way.
That first Christmas after Bikky moved in had started out kind of bleak; Ryo had been scheduled to work late, and so, not wanting Bikky to be alone on Christmas Eve, he’d packed the boy off to spend the night with Carol and her aunt. Work had wound up being a bust though, and he’d arrived home far earlier than expected to an empty apartment. He might have spent the whole night wallowing in misery if Dee hadn’t shown up to keep him company. Looking back, that might have been the night he’d started to fall in love with his partner.
Since then, Christmas had become more like the ones he remembered from his own childhood, only now he was the parent, creating his own traditions with his son and with Dee. It was good to have people to share the festive season with; they were his family now. That didn’t mean he’d forgotten his parents; he could never do that, they were too much a part of him. He still missed them all the time, and that was especially true around Christmas. There were inevitably times when he found it difficult to keep up the appearance of being filled with holiday cheer, and he had yet to make it through the whole of Christmas without shedding a few tears, but at least Dee and Bikky understood.
The last few years had been the best since Ryo had been a kid, only now it was Christmas Eve again, and even though Bikky was home from college for the holidays, he’d gone over to Carol’s to spend the night.
Ryo didn’t blame Bikky for preferring to spend time with his girl instead of hanging out at the apartment by himself; it was perfectly understandable. Nobody wanted to spend the Eve on their own, especially if they could be with someone they loved.
Christmas was always a busy time of year for the NYPD, and Ryo and Dee had both been on second shift, meaning neither one of them should have been home until after midnight. Dee was no doubt still at the precinct, finishing out his shift, but Ryo had suffered a minor injury during an arrest, and after three hours sitting around at the ER waiting to be treated, he’d finally been patched up and sent home.
The apartment he shared with Dee was so much bigger than his old one, although it never felt particularly big when his partner was there with him. Dee had a way of filling all available space with his presence, but here Ryo was, all alone, and feeling a little bit lost. Surrounded by Christmas decorations and lights, he was as gloomy as he had been eight years ago, facing another lonely Christmas Eve with nothing but his thoughts and memories for company. He wished Dee was there with him, or Bikky and Carol, but more than anything else, he found himself wishing he could have spent one more Christmas with his parents.
That particular longing had never really gone away; every single year it was there in the background, a wish that could never be granted. As long as he had people around him, he could push it to the back of his mind, but that was a whole lot harder to do when he was rattling around at home with nothing to distract him.
He considered calling his aunt and uncle in San Francisco before remembering that they’d decided to take a Christmas cruise this year. They’d be somewhere in the Caribbean, enjoying the sunshine, while he was in dreary, rainy New York, with a bump on the head, a wrenched shoulder, and a wrist that was thankfully only badly sprained and not broken. It didn’t make him inclined to feel cheerful.
Slumping onto the sofa, waiting for the painkillers the hospital had prescribed to kick in, and the mug of tea steaming on the end table to cool enough to be drinkable, Ryo tried to relax, leaning his head back against the cushions and closing his eyes. He’d left the overhead light off, so the room was illuminated only by twinkling fairy lights on the tree, and the reading lamp he’d turned on when he’d come in.
With his eyes shut, he could imagine himself back in his childhood home. He could almost hear the log fire crackling in the grate, smell the familiar scents he associated with Christmas when he was a boy, hear his mom humming along with carols playing on the radio, and his dad’s deep, warm laughter. The memories washed over him, filling him with a weird mixture of sadness and delight. They seemed so real he almost felt if he opened his eyes, he’d find he'd been transported back in time, but he kept them closed; he didn’t think he could stand to be disappointed.
He loved the apartment he and Dee shared, it was home, and he was happy living there with the man he loved more than anything. This was where he belonged now. Nevertheless, he knew a part of him would always long for the home he’d grown up in. Back when he’d lived there everything had been so much simpler, and the outside world a lot less scary.
“I miss you,” he told his parents, speaking out loud in the silence of the empty apartment. “I think about you all the time, but especially on Christmas. I wish you were still here.”
“We know, son,” he thought he heard his dad say.
“But we’re always with you,” his mom added. “We always will be, whenever you need us. We’re so proud of you, and we love you.” He thought he felt a feather-soft kiss brush his forehead and he smiled.
“Love you too, both of you. I wish I’d told you that more often, but I always thought there’d be more time.”
“You didn’t need to tell us; we always knew,” his father assured him.
The conversation, brief though it was, seemed so real that Ryo couldn’t tell whether or not he was dreaming. Maybe it was some sort of hallucination caused by the painkillers he’d taken; it wouldn’t be the first time he’d suffered weird side effects from prescription meds. Or maybe it was just the wind gusting outside, blowing rain against the windows. Either way, perhaps it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be spending the whole night alone; Dee would be home in a couple more hours, and until then, whether what he was experiencing was real or simply imagined, he had his parents for company.
“Happy Christmas,” he murmured.
As his tea cooled forgotten on the end table, Ryo drifted off to sleep and dreamed of home.
The End