TW-DW Fic: Side-Trip
Title: Side-Trip
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack, Eleventh Doctor, OCs.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2081
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Driving to London for an interagency conference, Ianto finds himself somewhere else entirely.
Written For: Challenge 377: Trip at fan_flashworks.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
“Have a safe trip,” Jack had told Ianto as they’d kissed goodbye. “Have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Ianto had snorted at that. “That should be easy enough; you’d do practically anything, not to mention anyone.”
“Not so, or not now. I’m saving myself strictly for you these days,” Jack assured him.
“I should hope so. Wouldn’t want to think you were cheating on me; you’re a married man. Anyway, this isn’t exactly a pleasure trip, shouldn’t think I’ll have time for anything other than work. You know what UNIT are like; they make the most exciting new discoveries mind-numbingly tedious, and the everyday stuff terminally boring. I’ll be lucky if I manage to stay awake long enough to learn anything, assuming they have anything to share that we don’t already know about, which seems unlikely. Sometimes I wonder why I bother showing up to these things; once they’ve finished grilling me about recent Torchwood activity, I end up sitting there like I’m invisible while everyone waffles around me.”
The new interagency treaty the two organisations had signed was supposed to improve relations between Torchwood and UNIT, but so far Torchwood hadn’t seen much benefit from it. UNIT seemed happy to accept whatever Torchwood brought to the table while offering little in return.
“You know I’d go with you if I could.”
“I know, Cariad, but I shudder to think what UNIT would do if they saw you like this.” At almost seven months pregnant, there was no way anyone would believe Jack had just put on a bit of weight; his baby bump was too distinctive to ever be passed off as overindulgence.
“Not something I want to think about either,” Jack agreed. “Okay, I’d better let you get on the road. Drive carefully, call me when you get there, and I’ll see you tomorrow night. Love you.”
“Love you too, Jack. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine; it’s hardly the first time I’ve driven to London. I know the route by heart. What could possibly go wrong?”
And hadn’t that just been asking for trouble? Ianto had climbed behind the wheel of his Audi, waved goodbye to Jack, and pulled out of Torchwood’s underground garage, resigned to the boredom awaiting him in London.
He hadn’t even made it out of Cardiff.
As he turned to head out along Newport Road, there was a sudden flare of brilliance, like sunlight reflecting off a mirror, or a window. He blinked, reached to flip the sun visor down, and then realised the road had vanished. Slamming the brakes on, the car jolted to a stop in the middle of a field, short blue-green grass stretching out in all directions to a distant fence line.
Nearby, a dozen or so animals that resembled fluffy yellowish deer with feathery antennae instead of antlers raised their heads and looked at him. The nearest one grunted, turned its back on him, and continue grazing. Ianto blinked, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. Overhead, twin suns shone down, and the air smelled faintly of lemons. Obviously this wasn’t anywhere on earth. Wasn’t that just perfect! Stupid Rift.
Ianto turned the engine off and rested his forehead on the steering wheel. “Have a safe trip,” he muttered. “Thanks, Jack.” Reluctantly he sat up straight again. “Well, looks like I’m safe enough for the moment, but where the hell am I?” He sighed heavily. “Not going to find out by sitting here.” Getting out of the car, he locked it behind him and set off towards what looked like a gate in the surrounding fence.
First step would be to track down whoever owned this field and find out what planet he was on. After that, he’d put a call through to the Doctor, although how long it would take to get a reply was anybody’s guess. The Time Lord couldn’t be relied on to check his messages regularly; in fact, it wasn’t unheard of for him to leave his phone turned off for months at a time.
“If he doesn’t get me back home in time for the birth, there will be trouble!” he told the grazing creatures as he passed them. One turned to look at him with a noncommittal grunt but made no move towards him. They didn’t seem at all concerned that a strange object had just appeared out of nowhere in the middle of their field. Good thing he hadn't run over any of the livestock. How would he have explained that to the farmer?
Fortunately for Ianto, the farm he was now parked in the middle of was owned by a lovely and very understanding family consisting of three sisters, their mates, and a dozen assorted children, the youngest of whom barely reached Ianto’s knee. The locals were mostly humanoid, but with copper-coloured skin, close-cropped greenish hair, black eyes, pointed ears, and short-toed paws rather than feet. They welcomed him very courteously into their home where he explained what had happened in Galactic Standard, a language the adults and oldest children were all thankfully quite fluent in.
Refreshments were served while they talked, a hot spiced fruit drink and an assortment of small cakes, and once he knew the name and approximate location of the planet, which was called Puuria, Ianto stepped out into a surprising earth-like farmyard and put a call through to the Doctor.
Amazingly, it was answered almost immediately.
“Ianto Jones! To what do I owe the pleasure?” the Doctor greeted him, sounding his usual cheery self.
“I could do with some help, if you can spare the time.”
“Anything for you,” the Doctor exclaimed. “You know how fond of you the TARDIS is. What seems to be the problem?”
“I was driving to a UNIT conference in London, and now I’m on the planet Puuria in the forty-sixth century. A Rift portal must have opened right in front of me as I turned onto the Newport Road. Now my car’s parked in the middle of a farming family’s field. It’s a bit disconcerting, and I promised Jack I’d call him as soon as I got to London. He’ll start worrying if I don’t, especially once he finds out I didn’t arrive at the hotel where the conference is being held.”
“Oh dear, you do have a bit of a problem, don’t you? Not to worry though, I’ll be there shortly to collect you. Just give me the exact date and time…”
Ianto did so.
“Right, I’ll be there to get you before you know it. Why don’t you go and wait in your car?”
“Um… okay.”
Ianto hung up, said his goodbyes to the family, and they all trooped out to the field, where they admired the Audi as Ianto got into the driver’s seat. To them, it was an outlandish vintage vehicle, with some vague similarities to personal transportation from millennia in their past; the sort of thing they’d see in one of the big city museums. These days, everything on Puuria ran on solar power, something they had in abundance.
Everyone except Ianto stepped away from the car a short while later as a strange sound became audible, and then the field and the grazing herd faded out of existence to be replaced by the console room on the TARDIS.
“Ah, there you are!” The Doctor bent down to beam at Ianto through the driver’s side window. “Good to see you again, Ianto Jones!”
“Likewise, Doctor.” Ianto opened the door, nudging his host aside with it so that he could get out. “Thank you for coming so quickly.”
“Think nothing of it, always happy to help. Any friend of Jack’s, and all that. Now, where and when is it that you want to go? Oooh, I know! Have you ever been to Zizznoop? In springtime the Umble trees flower in all the colours of the rainbow. The blossoms chime like bells.”
“That sounds wonderful, Doctor, but perhaps another time? I really do need to attend the conference in London; I’m expected, and I don’t want Jack worrying.”
“Say no more, I’ll have you there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. Which is a really silly saying, when you think about it.” The Doctor clapped his hands together. “London it is then.”
That was how Ianto found himself at the side of a backstreet in Chiswick as the TARDIS dematerialised around him, the Doctor’s cheerful “Have fun!” still ringing in his ears.
“That’s what Jack told me too, and I wound up on and alien planet twenty-five thousand years into the future,” he muttered, turning the key in the ignition and pulling away from the kerb. He was about a mile and a half from the hotel, a little ahead of schedule, and he hadn’t even needed to deal with the traffic on the motorway. Despite his unscheduled side-trip, this was quite possibly the most trouble-free journey to London he’d ever enjoyed, which was saying something, and that included the ones where he'd taken the train.
Driving to the hotel, he parked the Audi and checked in, took his bag up to his room, dropped it on the chair, and freshened up in the bathroom, out of habit more than necessity. It wasn’t like he’d just made a three and a half-hour drive. By rights, he shouldn’t even be here yet; he’d left Cardiff around seven, and it wasn’t even ten yet.
The conference itself wouldn’t start until noon, with a break for lunch around two, and another for dinner at seven. It was due to finish around four the following afternoon, but knowing UNIT, it would overrun by a couple of hours. Even so, he hoped to be back in Cardiff no later than ten. He smiled to himself; maybe he could call the Doctor and get a lift back… On second thoughts, that was probably a bad idea. Who knew where he might end up?
He left the hotel and made his way to a nearby coffee shop, where he relaxed with the London Times and a reasonably good coffee. It was the last one he’d get until he was home; what passed for coffee at UNIT functions was undrinkable, the tea in the big urns only marginally better, so he savoured every drop, checked his watch, and made his way back to his room, flopping onto the bed to call Jack.
“Hey,”
“Hey yourself.” Jack sounded relieved.
“Well, I made it to London. Hotel room’s not too bad.”
“How was the drive?”
“Had to take a bit of a detour, I’ll tell you all about it when I get home.” There was no sense worrying Jack after the fact. “How are things at the Hub? Everyone behaving themselves and doing their assigned chores?”
“Owen’s bitching about having to clean out and feed the Weevils and Myfanwy.”
“Typical. It’s not like you can do it, not with all those stairs up and down. Tell him if he doesn’t pull his finger out and get on with it, you’ll assign the job to him permanently. That should shut him up. Everyone’s going to be taking a turn when the baby’s born anyway. He might as well get used to it now. He only has to do it for one day; Mickey’s doing it tomorrow.”
As he talked to his husband, the memory of his accidental trip off-world was already fading. Perhaps he and Jack would get to Puuria someday for a visit, breathe the lemon-scented air, get to know the people… He had more important things to think about now though.
“Anything you want me to bring back for you?” he asked.
“Just yourself,” Jack replied. “You’re all I need. I’d better let you go; you don’t want to be the last one down to the conference room. Talk to you again later?”
“If I get back to my room before midnight. I don’t want you staying up half the night waiting for me to call.”
“I’ll be fine. Love you.”
“Love you too.” Ianto hung up and got to his feet, putting his shoes and jacket back on, and straightening his tie, checking his appearance in the mirror, immaculate as always.
“Oh well, into the lion’s den,” he murmured under his breath as he left his room and closed the door behind him, making his way to the lifts. Funny how the conference he was about to attend felt more stressful than finding himself stranded on an alien world far into the future.
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack, Eleventh Doctor, OCs.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2081
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Driving to London for an interagency conference, Ianto finds himself somewhere else entirely.
Written For: Challenge 377: Trip at fan_flashworks.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
“Have a safe trip,” Jack had told Ianto as they’d kissed goodbye. “Have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Ianto had snorted at that. “That should be easy enough; you’d do practically anything, not to mention anyone.”
“Not so, or not now. I’m saving myself strictly for you these days,” Jack assured him.
“I should hope so. Wouldn’t want to think you were cheating on me; you’re a married man. Anyway, this isn’t exactly a pleasure trip, shouldn’t think I’ll have time for anything other than work. You know what UNIT are like; they make the most exciting new discoveries mind-numbingly tedious, and the everyday stuff terminally boring. I’ll be lucky if I manage to stay awake long enough to learn anything, assuming they have anything to share that we don’t already know about, which seems unlikely. Sometimes I wonder why I bother showing up to these things; once they’ve finished grilling me about recent Torchwood activity, I end up sitting there like I’m invisible while everyone waffles around me.”
The new interagency treaty the two organisations had signed was supposed to improve relations between Torchwood and UNIT, but so far Torchwood hadn’t seen much benefit from it. UNIT seemed happy to accept whatever Torchwood brought to the table while offering little in return.
“You know I’d go with you if I could.”
“I know, Cariad, but I shudder to think what UNIT would do if they saw you like this.” At almost seven months pregnant, there was no way anyone would believe Jack had just put on a bit of weight; his baby bump was too distinctive to ever be passed off as overindulgence.
“Not something I want to think about either,” Jack agreed. “Okay, I’d better let you get on the road. Drive carefully, call me when you get there, and I’ll see you tomorrow night. Love you.”
“Love you too, Jack. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine; it’s hardly the first time I’ve driven to London. I know the route by heart. What could possibly go wrong?”
And hadn’t that just been asking for trouble? Ianto had climbed behind the wheel of his Audi, waved goodbye to Jack, and pulled out of Torchwood’s underground garage, resigned to the boredom awaiting him in London.
He hadn’t even made it out of Cardiff.
As he turned to head out along Newport Road, there was a sudden flare of brilliance, like sunlight reflecting off a mirror, or a window. He blinked, reached to flip the sun visor down, and then realised the road had vanished. Slamming the brakes on, the car jolted to a stop in the middle of a field, short blue-green grass stretching out in all directions to a distant fence line.
Nearby, a dozen or so animals that resembled fluffy yellowish deer with feathery antennae instead of antlers raised their heads and looked at him. The nearest one grunted, turned its back on him, and continue grazing. Ianto blinked, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. Overhead, twin suns shone down, and the air smelled faintly of lemons. Obviously this wasn’t anywhere on earth. Wasn’t that just perfect! Stupid Rift.
Ianto turned the engine off and rested his forehead on the steering wheel. “Have a safe trip,” he muttered. “Thanks, Jack.” Reluctantly he sat up straight again. “Well, looks like I’m safe enough for the moment, but where the hell am I?” He sighed heavily. “Not going to find out by sitting here.” Getting out of the car, he locked it behind him and set off towards what looked like a gate in the surrounding fence.
First step would be to track down whoever owned this field and find out what planet he was on. After that, he’d put a call through to the Doctor, although how long it would take to get a reply was anybody’s guess. The Time Lord couldn’t be relied on to check his messages regularly; in fact, it wasn’t unheard of for him to leave his phone turned off for months at a time.
“If he doesn’t get me back home in time for the birth, there will be trouble!” he told the grazing creatures as he passed them. One turned to look at him with a noncommittal grunt but made no move towards him. They didn’t seem at all concerned that a strange object had just appeared out of nowhere in the middle of their field. Good thing he hadn't run over any of the livestock. How would he have explained that to the farmer?
Fortunately for Ianto, the farm he was now parked in the middle of was owned by a lovely and very understanding family consisting of three sisters, their mates, and a dozen assorted children, the youngest of whom barely reached Ianto’s knee. The locals were mostly humanoid, but with copper-coloured skin, close-cropped greenish hair, black eyes, pointed ears, and short-toed paws rather than feet. They welcomed him very courteously into their home where he explained what had happened in Galactic Standard, a language the adults and oldest children were all thankfully quite fluent in.
Refreshments were served while they talked, a hot spiced fruit drink and an assortment of small cakes, and once he knew the name and approximate location of the planet, which was called Puuria, Ianto stepped out into a surprising earth-like farmyard and put a call through to the Doctor.
Amazingly, it was answered almost immediately.
“Ianto Jones! To what do I owe the pleasure?” the Doctor greeted him, sounding his usual cheery self.
“I could do with some help, if you can spare the time.”
“Anything for you,” the Doctor exclaimed. “You know how fond of you the TARDIS is. What seems to be the problem?”
“I was driving to a UNIT conference in London, and now I’m on the planet Puuria in the forty-sixth century. A Rift portal must have opened right in front of me as I turned onto the Newport Road. Now my car’s parked in the middle of a farming family’s field. It’s a bit disconcerting, and I promised Jack I’d call him as soon as I got to London. He’ll start worrying if I don’t, especially once he finds out I didn’t arrive at the hotel where the conference is being held.”
“Oh dear, you do have a bit of a problem, don’t you? Not to worry though, I’ll be there shortly to collect you. Just give me the exact date and time…”
Ianto did so.
“Right, I’ll be there to get you before you know it. Why don’t you go and wait in your car?”
“Um… okay.”
Ianto hung up, said his goodbyes to the family, and they all trooped out to the field, where they admired the Audi as Ianto got into the driver’s seat. To them, it was an outlandish vintage vehicle, with some vague similarities to personal transportation from millennia in their past; the sort of thing they’d see in one of the big city museums. These days, everything on Puuria ran on solar power, something they had in abundance.
Everyone except Ianto stepped away from the car a short while later as a strange sound became audible, and then the field and the grazing herd faded out of existence to be replaced by the console room on the TARDIS.
“Ah, there you are!” The Doctor bent down to beam at Ianto through the driver’s side window. “Good to see you again, Ianto Jones!”
“Likewise, Doctor.” Ianto opened the door, nudging his host aside with it so that he could get out. “Thank you for coming so quickly.”
“Think nothing of it, always happy to help. Any friend of Jack’s, and all that. Now, where and when is it that you want to go? Oooh, I know! Have you ever been to Zizznoop? In springtime the Umble trees flower in all the colours of the rainbow. The blossoms chime like bells.”
“That sounds wonderful, Doctor, but perhaps another time? I really do need to attend the conference in London; I’m expected, and I don’t want Jack worrying.”
“Say no more, I’ll have you there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. Which is a really silly saying, when you think about it.” The Doctor clapped his hands together. “London it is then.”
That was how Ianto found himself at the side of a backstreet in Chiswick as the TARDIS dematerialised around him, the Doctor’s cheerful “Have fun!” still ringing in his ears.
“That’s what Jack told me too, and I wound up on and alien planet twenty-five thousand years into the future,” he muttered, turning the key in the ignition and pulling away from the kerb. He was about a mile and a half from the hotel, a little ahead of schedule, and he hadn’t even needed to deal with the traffic on the motorway. Despite his unscheduled side-trip, this was quite possibly the most trouble-free journey to London he’d ever enjoyed, which was saying something, and that included the ones where he'd taken the train.
Driving to the hotel, he parked the Audi and checked in, took his bag up to his room, dropped it on the chair, and freshened up in the bathroom, out of habit more than necessity. It wasn’t like he’d just made a three and a half-hour drive. By rights, he shouldn’t even be here yet; he’d left Cardiff around seven, and it wasn’t even ten yet.
The conference itself wouldn’t start until noon, with a break for lunch around two, and another for dinner at seven. It was due to finish around four the following afternoon, but knowing UNIT, it would overrun by a couple of hours. Even so, he hoped to be back in Cardiff no later than ten. He smiled to himself; maybe he could call the Doctor and get a lift back… On second thoughts, that was probably a bad idea. Who knew where he might end up?
He left the hotel and made his way to a nearby coffee shop, where he relaxed with the London Times and a reasonably good coffee. It was the last one he’d get until he was home; what passed for coffee at UNIT functions was undrinkable, the tea in the big urns only marginally better, so he savoured every drop, checked his watch, and made his way back to his room, flopping onto the bed to call Jack.
“Hey,”
“Hey yourself.” Jack sounded relieved.
“Well, I made it to London. Hotel room’s not too bad.”
“How was the drive?”
“Had to take a bit of a detour, I’ll tell you all about it when I get home.” There was no sense worrying Jack after the fact. “How are things at the Hub? Everyone behaving themselves and doing their assigned chores?”
“Owen’s bitching about having to clean out and feed the Weevils and Myfanwy.”
“Typical. It’s not like you can do it, not with all those stairs up and down. Tell him if he doesn’t pull his finger out and get on with it, you’ll assign the job to him permanently. That should shut him up. Everyone’s going to be taking a turn when the baby’s born anyway. He might as well get used to it now. He only has to do it for one day; Mickey’s doing it tomorrow.”
As he talked to his husband, the memory of his accidental trip off-world was already fading. Perhaps he and Jack would get to Puuria someday for a visit, breathe the lemon-scented air, get to know the people… He had more important things to think about now though.
“Anything you want me to bring back for you?” he asked.
“Just yourself,” Jack replied. “You’re all I need. I’d better let you go; you don’t want to be the last one down to the conference room. Talk to you again later?”
“If I get back to my room before midnight. I don’t want you staying up half the night waiting for me to call.”
“I’ll be fine. Love you.”
“Love you too.” Ianto hung up and got to his feet, putting his shoes and jacket back on, and straightening his tie, checking his appearance in the mirror, immaculate as always.
“Oh well, into the lion’s den,” he murmured under his breath as he left his room and closed the door behind him, making his way to the lifts. Funny how the conference he was about to attend felt more stressful than finding himself stranded on an alien world far into the future.
The End