BtVS Ficlet: No Time
Title: No Time
Fandom: BtVS
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Buffy.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: The Body.
Summary: Buffy’s mom is gone and there’s so much she needs to do now that she has to take over as the responsible adult.
Word Count: 517
Written For: Challenge 181: Mourn at beattheblackdog.
Disclaimer: I don’t own BtVS, or the characters.
Everything’s happening so fast, too fast; Buffy just wishes the world would stop moving, stand still for a few minutes, hours, days, weeks, months… Maybe forever, would that be long enough? She’s just lost her mom, the cornerstone of her existence, the foundation her whole short life is built on; she needs time to mourn, to come to terms with her loss, but she doesn’t have any to spare.
She has so many people she needs to call, her mom’s funeral to arrange, the casket to pick out, and the flowers, and the music. Then there’s the house, all the bills that need to be paid, and the mortgage, and where is she going to get the money for all of that? She’ll have to get a job, which means she’ll have to drop out of college because there’s no way she can hold down a job, attend classes, do homework, keep up with the housework, and patrol every night, even if she could afford the tuition fees. Which she obviously can’t.
The housework… Her mom always did most of that. Where does she even start? There’s cleaning to be done, and laundry, and ironing, the dishes to wash and meals to prepare because she and her sister have got to eat. She’ll have to fit in grocery shopping as well.
Her sister… Buffy’s thoughts turn to Dawn. She’s got to be strong for her; the two of them are all the family they have left, there’s nobody else to look after Dawn and she’s still so young. Buffy needs to be there for her, to comfort her in her grief.
‘And what about me? Don’t I need someone to comfort me too?’ Buffy thinks as unshed tears sting her eyes. More than anything in the world she wants her mom.
But her mom is gone, she’ll never again feel warm arms around her, holding her close. Never again hear her mom’s familiar voice telling her everything will be alright, that she’s just had a bad dream.
If only it was just a dream. Buffy would give almost anything to wake up and find the whole last year of her life had been nothing more than a horrible nightmare, but she knows that’s not going to happen.
She’s too young to have all this responsibility heaped on her, too young to have to take over as surrogate parent and breadwinner, too young to face the world without the one person who’s always been there for her, no matter what. Who can she turn to now?
It’s not fair! Hasn’t she already been through enough? The whole world feels like its crushing down on her and right at this moment she’s simply not strong enough to bear the weight. She might never be.
So she sits alone in her room, feeling cold and numb and hollow, her heart a leaden, barely beating weight in her chest, trying to gather the strength she needs to do all the things she knows have to be done.
But she doesn’t mourn. With so much to do she can’t spare the time.
The End
Fandom: BtVS
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Buffy.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: The Body.
Summary: Buffy’s mom is gone and there’s so much she needs to do now that she has to take over as the responsible adult.
Word Count: 517
Written For: Challenge 181: Mourn at beattheblackdog.
Disclaimer: I don’t own BtVS, or the characters.
Everything’s happening so fast, too fast; Buffy just wishes the world would stop moving, stand still for a few minutes, hours, days, weeks, months… Maybe forever, would that be long enough? She’s just lost her mom, the cornerstone of her existence, the foundation her whole short life is built on; she needs time to mourn, to come to terms with her loss, but she doesn’t have any to spare.
She has so many people she needs to call, her mom’s funeral to arrange, the casket to pick out, and the flowers, and the music. Then there’s the house, all the bills that need to be paid, and the mortgage, and where is she going to get the money for all of that? She’ll have to get a job, which means she’ll have to drop out of college because there’s no way she can hold down a job, attend classes, do homework, keep up with the housework, and patrol every night, even if she could afford the tuition fees. Which she obviously can’t.
The housework… Her mom always did most of that. Where does she even start? There’s cleaning to be done, and laundry, and ironing, the dishes to wash and meals to prepare because she and her sister have got to eat. She’ll have to fit in grocery shopping as well.
Her sister… Buffy’s thoughts turn to Dawn. She’s got to be strong for her; the two of them are all the family they have left, there’s nobody else to look after Dawn and she’s still so young. Buffy needs to be there for her, to comfort her in her grief.
‘And what about me? Don’t I need someone to comfort me too?’ Buffy thinks as unshed tears sting her eyes. More than anything in the world she wants her mom.
But her mom is gone, she’ll never again feel warm arms around her, holding her close. Never again hear her mom’s familiar voice telling her everything will be alright, that she’s just had a bad dream.
If only it was just a dream. Buffy would give almost anything to wake up and find the whole last year of her life had been nothing more than a horrible nightmare, but she knows that’s not going to happen.
She’s too young to have all this responsibility heaped on her, too young to have to take over as surrogate parent and breadwinner, too young to face the world without the one person who’s always been there for her, no matter what. Who can she turn to now?
It’s not fair! Hasn’t she already been through enough? The whole world feels like its crushing down on her and right at this moment she’s simply not strong enough to bear the weight. She might never be.
So she sits alone in her room, feeling cold and numb and hollow, her heart a leaden, barely beating weight in her chest, trying to gather the strength she needs to do all the things she knows have to be done.
But she doesn’t mourn. With so much to do she can’t spare the time.
The End