TW-DW Fic: It’s Tinsel Time! - Part 3
Title: It’s Tinsel Time! - Part 3
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Owen, Gwen, the Eleventh Doctor
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Torchwood needs a helping hand to solve their tinsel problem, but that leaves poor Jack back at square one.
Word Count: 1895
Written For: m_findlow’s prompt ‘Jack attempts to bring Christmas cheer to the hub. It turns out that tinsel and alien tech don't mix,’ at torchwood_fest 2016.
Beta: My lovely friend milady_dragon. Thanks so much!
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Part 2
For once, the Doctor didn’t keep them waiting for days; the TARDIS materialised in the Hub less than an hour later, and a tall, gangly man in a purple coat and a bowtie stepped out.
“Hello! You said you needed help with something? What’s the problem?”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “What’s the problem? Look around you.”
“Hm?” The Doctor did as suggested. “Well, this is different!” he said cheerfully, as he took in the bizarre sight. “It’s nice though. Very sparkly.”
“It’s also alive,” Ianto pointed out. “Which is the… ah… root of the problem. Jack decorated the Hub for Christmas, and then this happened.”
“It was an accident,” Jack hurriedly explained. “I didn’t mean to start a tinsel evolution!”
“You didn’t? Well, not to worry, Jack; most evolution starts out that way.” The Doctor patted Jack reassuringly on the shoulder. “When you think about it, almost everything in the universe is the result of an accident of one kind or another, yourself included. So, what do you need from me?”
“I don’t really know, just… Is there anything you can do about all this?” Jack asked hopefully. “Maybe put it all back the way it was before it started evolving?”
“You mean make your decorations inanimate again?”
“Yes!”
“Ah, then no, not exactly I’m afraid. I can’t stop what’s already started, evolution can be a tricky business; this is a new and thriving ecosystem, the various species exist. Destroying them now would cause more problems than it would solve; it could throw the future out of balance in ways we can’t begin to imagine.”
“But we have to do something!” Jack pleaded. “They don’t belong here; who knows what might happen if they got out of the Hub?”
“Precisely, that could be very bad indeed, so I think the best thing would be to just transplant the whole lot to somewhere more suitable, the device as well. I’ll find a nice little out of the way planet, or perhaps an asteroid, and then we can simply let nature take its course. If all goes well, in a few hundred years there’ll be a whole planet with a thriving ecology based entirely on Christmas decorations. Won’t that be something?” The Doctor beamed at Jack. “Just imagine, someday there might be sentient tinsel life! Definitely best not to have it develop here though. Humans have enough to contend with, and all life deserves to develop at its own speed, with minimal outside interference.”
“I guess you’re right,” Jack replied gloomily. “Okay, Doc, do what you have to. I’ll be down in my bunker; I don’t want to watch.” Shoulders slumped, he trudged away, the picture of dejection.
It took the Doctor surprisingly little time to transfer all the tinsel lifeforms into a specially prepared room inside the TARDIS. Admittedly the sentient space and time ship did most of the work, while the Doctor wandered around the Hub with his sonic screwdriver, neutralising any particles or traces of oil that might be left behind. At Ianto’s request, he also made some minor alterations to an obsolete Torchwood scanner so that if anything started to grow again after he left, the team would be able to locate and deal with it themselves, although the Doctor assured them he hadn’t missed anything.
Soon, the Hub was once again bare. All that was left to show that Christmas was approaching were Jack’s wonky tree in his office, which had somehow not been affected, perhaps because of the materials it was made from, and the tattered tree he’d bought, which had already been alive to start with. The place looked horribly bleak without the riot of colour that had previously covered every available surface.
Coming out of the TARDIS after checking on his unusual passengers, the Doctor approached Ianto, Owen, and Gwen. He was festooned with several Twinkles. “There, all done.” He beamed at them happily. “I must say these little chaps are rather charming, don’t you think?” He gestured at the blue Twinkle draped over his shoulder.
“They are cute,” Gwen agreed, “but the Hub isn’t the best place for them. I’m sure they’ll be a lot happier on their own world.”
“Even if it’s a world they have to develop from scratch,” Owen agreed. “From what we saw here over the last couple of days, I’d say they’ll do just fine.”
“Oh, they will. In fact they’re looking forward to it.”
“Don’t tell me you speak Twinkle.” Ianto gave the Doctor a funny look.
“Well, not yet, but I’m learning. Right, I’ll just pop and say goodbye to Jack, and then I’ll be off. Nice seeing you all again.”
“Thank you for your help.” Ianto shook the Doctor’s hand. “Drop in again anytime you’re passing; you’re always welcome.”
“I might just do that.” The Doctor disappeared into Jack’s office and down the manhole, reappearing a few minutes later and waving a cheery goodbye before entering the TARDIS. With its usual grinding, groaning sound and gusts of wind, it faded in and out a few times, and then it was gone.
“Home sweet home. Nice to have things back to normal again,” Owen said with a satisfied smile.
Ianto shoved his hands in his pockets and surveyed the Hub. “I don’t know, I was just starting to get used to all the tinsel and lights, and now everywhere feels sort of empty.”
“Yeah,” Gwen agreed. “It just doesn’t look like Christmas anymore. Oh well, crisis over, I suppose I should get back to work.” She wandered over to her workstation and started picking up all the papers the TARDIS’s departure had scattered.
Coming to a decision, Ianto fetched his coat and slipped it on. “Right, I have some errands to run, so you two can hold the fort until I get back.”
“What about Jack?” Gwen asked.
“Leave him be for now, he’s busy moping. He’ll come out when he feels like it, or when he gets hungry.”
Taking the SUV, Ianto drove straight to the St. David’s shopping centre, parking in the underground car park. He was on a mission to restore Jack’s Christmas spirit, and to do that he was going to need a few things.
When Ianto set his mind to doing something, he did it to the very best of his ability. It took him several hours to get everything he wanted, and he must have visited almost every store in the centre, plus a few more across the street, but at last he was satisfied with his purchases. He’d needed to make several trips back to the car, as well as walking what felt like miles around the crowded shops, so by the time he got back to the Hub he was tired, footsore, and half-deafened by Christmas music and screaming kids.
“What kept you?” Owen grumbled as Ianto entered the Hub from the garage.
“Shops were packed. Did I miss anything?”
“There was a Rift alert, but all that came through were half a dozen woolly mittens, all of them left-hand.” Gwen seemed puzzled. “Do we get weird stuff like that often?”
Ianto smiled. “Now and then. The Rift does try to send a bit of festive cheer our way at this time of year, but it’s a bit random. Listen, it’s getting late so why don’t you two knock off for the night? I can take care of things now.”
“Don’t need to tell me twice.” Pulling his jacket on, Owen headed towards the garage without so much as a backward glance.
Gwen hesitated. “Are you sure? I don’t mind staying.”
“I’ll be fine,” Ianto assured her. “Jack’s here. Go spend some time with your husband. He’ll probably appreciate you getting home early again for the second time in a week.”
“It would give us a chance to do the rest of our Christmas shopping… Okay. Say goodbye to Jack for me, and I’ll see you both tomorrow then. Night, Ianto.”
“Goodnight, Gwen. Have fun.”
When the noise from the cog door alarms had finally faded away into silence, Ianto marched up to Jack’s office and climbed down into the bunker beneath. Jack was sitting on the edge of his bunk in the dark, head in his hands, looking woebegone, and not even remotely festive.
“Go away, Ianto,” he mumbled, not bothering to look up.
“Sorry, can’t do that. There’s work needing to be done, and I’m not doing it all by myself.”
“Gwen and Owen can help you.”
“They’re busy. Now get up.” Ianto stood there, arms folded and foot tapping his impatience, staring at Jack until he finally sighed and heaved himself reluctantly to his feet.
“Where are we going?”
“Out to the SUV for starters.” Ianto handed Jack the keys and followed behind as the other man climbed the ladder ahead of him. He noticed the way Jack purposely kept his eyes fixed on the floor as he walked through the Hub, avoiding looking at the bare tree in its tub, and the greyness that surrounded them.
Jack clicked the remote to unlock the SUV’s doors and started towards the driver’s side, but Ianto stopped him.
“We’re not going out; I just need you to help me unload the boot.” He raised the rear hatch and as Jack saw what was in the big compartment, his mouth dropped open.
“Ianto, what…?” He pointed disbelievingly at the bags stuffed with decorations. There was tinsel in every colour imaginable oozing out of them, strings of lights, packs of garish baubles… Everything he’d had before, and probably more.
Ianto shrugged. “Can’t have you moping all through Christmas; you’ll bring the rest of us down, and you know how Myfanwy gets when she’s depressed. Think of the first lot as a practice run. I’ll help carry these through to the Hub, but the rest is up to you. I’ve got the residents to feed and a pile of filing to do, and I expect to see the place sparkling by the time I’m finished.”
Jack didn’t need any further urging. He grabbed up as many bags as he could carry at once and hurried through the door to the Hub. Ianto followed with a more modest load; a couple more trips and everything would be unloaded.
He already knew the Hub was going to look a complete mess again by the time Jack was finished, all the colours clashing horribly, and tinsel shedding bits everywhere, but if it made Jack happy then Ianto figured he could put up with it. The festive season was only one month or so out of twelve, and the rest of the time good taste could reign supreme.
Jack had little enough to feel happy about, so if he wanted tinsel and glitter everywhere, why not indulge him? The Hub was Jack’s home after all, and some things were more important than being neat, tidy, and colour coordinated. His lover’s way of decorating might result in an eyesore, but Ianto had a feeling it was a lot more fun than his own painstakingly arranged display. Maybe if he finished his filing quickly enough, Jack might even let him help…
Humming a jaunty Christmas tune, Ianto headed for the stairs to the lower levels, twirling a sprig of mistletoe in one hand. He had plans for that later, but like he’d told Jack, first there was work to be done.
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Owen, Gwen, the Eleventh Doctor
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Torchwood needs a helping hand to solve their tinsel problem, but that leaves poor Jack back at square one.
Word Count: 1895
Written For: m_findlow’s prompt ‘Jack attempts to bring Christmas cheer to the hub. It turns out that tinsel and alien tech don't mix,’ at torchwood_fest 2016.
Beta: My lovely friend milady_dragon. Thanks so much!
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Part 2
For once, the Doctor didn’t keep them waiting for days; the TARDIS materialised in the Hub less than an hour later, and a tall, gangly man in a purple coat and a bowtie stepped out.
“Hello! You said you needed help with something? What’s the problem?”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “What’s the problem? Look around you.”
“Hm?” The Doctor did as suggested. “Well, this is different!” he said cheerfully, as he took in the bizarre sight. “It’s nice though. Very sparkly.”
“It’s also alive,” Ianto pointed out. “Which is the… ah… root of the problem. Jack decorated the Hub for Christmas, and then this happened.”
“It was an accident,” Jack hurriedly explained. “I didn’t mean to start a tinsel evolution!”
“You didn’t? Well, not to worry, Jack; most evolution starts out that way.” The Doctor patted Jack reassuringly on the shoulder. “When you think about it, almost everything in the universe is the result of an accident of one kind or another, yourself included. So, what do you need from me?”
“I don’t really know, just… Is there anything you can do about all this?” Jack asked hopefully. “Maybe put it all back the way it was before it started evolving?”
“You mean make your decorations inanimate again?”
“Yes!”
“Ah, then no, not exactly I’m afraid. I can’t stop what’s already started, evolution can be a tricky business; this is a new and thriving ecosystem, the various species exist. Destroying them now would cause more problems than it would solve; it could throw the future out of balance in ways we can’t begin to imagine.”
“But we have to do something!” Jack pleaded. “They don’t belong here; who knows what might happen if they got out of the Hub?”
“Precisely, that could be very bad indeed, so I think the best thing would be to just transplant the whole lot to somewhere more suitable, the device as well. I’ll find a nice little out of the way planet, or perhaps an asteroid, and then we can simply let nature take its course. If all goes well, in a few hundred years there’ll be a whole planet with a thriving ecology based entirely on Christmas decorations. Won’t that be something?” The Doctor beamed at Jack. “Just imagine, someday there might be sentient tinsel life! Definitely best not to have it develop here though. Humans have enough to contend with, and all life deserves to develop at its own speed, with minimal outside interference.”
“I guess you’re right,” Jack replied gloomily. “Okay, Doc, do what you have to. I’ll be down in my bunker; I don’t want to watch.” Shoulders slumped, he trudged away, the picture of dejection.
It took the Doctor surprisingly little time to transfer all the tinsel lifeforms into a specially prepared room inside the TARDIS. Admittedly the sentient space and time ship did most of the work, while the Doctor wandered around the Hub with his sonic screwdriver, neutralising any particles or traces of oil that might be left behind. At Ianto’s request, he also made some minor alterations to an obsolete Torchwood scanner so that if anything started to grow again after he left, the team would be able to locate and deal with it themselves, although the Doctor assured them he hadn’t missed anything.
Soon, the Hub was once again bare. All that was left to show that Christmas was approaching were Jack’s wonky tree in his office, which had somehow not been affected, perhaps because of the materials it was made from, and the tattered tree he’d bought, which had already been alive to start with. The place looked horribly bleak without the riot of colour that had previously covered every available surface.
Coming out of the TARDIS after checking on his unusual passengers, the Doctor approached Ianto, Owen, and Gwen. He was festooned with several Twinkles. “There, all done.” He beamed at them happily. “I must say these little chaps are rather charming, don’t you think?” He gestured at the blue Twinkle draped over his shoulder.
“They are cute,” Gwen agreed, “but the Hub isn’t the best place for them. I’m sure they’ll be a lot happier on their own world.”
“Even if it’s a world they have to develop from scratch,” Owen agreed. “From what we saw here over the last couple of days, I’d say they’ll do just fine.”
“Oh, they will. In fact they’re looking forward to it.”
“Don’t tell me you speak Twinkle.” Ianto gave the Doctor a funny look.
“Well, not yet, but I’m learning. Right, I’ll just pop and say goodbye to Jack, and then I’ll be off. Nice seeing you all again.”
“Thank you for your help.” Ianto shook the Doctor’s hand. “Drop in again anytime you’re passing; you’re always welcome.”
“I might just do that.” The Doctor disappeared into Jack’s office and down the manhole, reappearing a few minutes later and waving a cheery goodbye before entering the TARDIS. With its usual grinding, groaning sound and gusts of wind, it faded in and out a few times, and then it was gone.
“Home sweet home. Nice to have things back to normal again,” Owen said with a satisfied smile.
Ianto shoved his hands in his pockets and surveyed the Hub. “I don’t know, I was just starting to get used to all the tinsel and lights, and now everywhere feels sort of empty.”
“Yeah,” Gwen agreed. “It just doesn’t look like Christmas anymore. Oh well, crisis over, I suppose I should get back to work.” She wandered over to her workstation and started picking up all the papers the TARDIS’s departure had scattered.
Coming to a decision, Ianto fetched his coat and slipped it on. “Right, I have some errands to run, so you two can hold the fort until I get back.”
“What about Jack?” Gwen asked.
“Leave him be for now, he’s busy moping. He’ll come out when he feels like it, or when he gets hungry.”
Taking the SUV, Ianto drove straight to the St. David’s shopping centre, parking in the underground car park. He was on a mission to restore Jack’s Christmas spirit, and to do that he was going to need a few things.
When Ianto set his mind to doing something, he did it to the very best of his ability. It took him several hours to get everything he wanted, and he must have visited almost every store in the centre, plus a few more across the street, but at last he was satisfied with his purchases. He’d needed to make several trips back to the car, as well as walking what felt like miles around the crowded shops, so by the time he got back to the Hub he was tired, footsore, and half-deafened by Christmas music and screaming kids.
“What kept you?” Owen grumbled as Ianto entered the Hub from the garage.
“Shops were packed. Did I miss anything?”
“There was a Rift alert, but all that came through were half a dozen woolly mittens, all of them left-hand.” Gwen seemed puzzled. “Do we get weird stuff like that often?”
Ianto smiled. “Now and then. The Rift does try to send a bit of festive cheer our way at this time of year, but it’s a bit random. Listen, it’s getting late so why don’t you two knock off for the night? I can take care of things now.”
“Don’t need to tell me twice.” Pulling his jacket on, Owen headed towards the garage without so much as a backward glance.
Gwen hesitated. “Are you sure? I don’t mind staying.”
“I’ll be fine,” Ianto assured her. “Jack’s here. Go spend some time with your husband. He’ll probably appreciate you getting home early again for the second time in a week.”
“It would give us a chance to do the rest of our Christmas shopping… Okay. Say goodbye to Jack for me, and I’ll see you both tomorrow then. Night, Ianto.”
“Goodnight, Gwen. Have fun.”
When the noise from the cog door alarms had finally faded away into silence, Ianto marched up to Jack’s office and climbed down into the bunker beneath. Jack was sitting on the edge of his bunk in the dark, head in his hands, looking woebegone, and not even remotely festive.
“Go away, Ianto,” he mumbled, not bothering to look up.
“Sorry, can’t do that. There’s work needing to be done, and I’m not doing it all by myself.”
“Gwen and Owen can help you.”
“They’re busy. Now get up.” Ianto stood there, arms folded and foot tapping his impatience, staring at Jack until he finally sighed and heaved himself reluctantly to his feet.
“Where are we going?”
“Out to the SUV for starters.” Ianto handed Jack the keys and followed behind as the other man climbed the ladder ahead of him. He noticed the way Jack purposely kept his eyes fixed on the floor as he walked through the Hub, avoiding looking at the bare tree in its tub, and the greyness that surrounded them.
Jack clicked the remote to unlock the SUV’s doors and started towards the driver’s side, but Ianto stopped him.
“We’re not going out; I just need you to help me unload the boot.” He raised the rear hatch and as Jack saw what was in the big compartment, his mouth dropped open.
“Ianto, what…?” He pointed disbelievingly at the bags stuffed with decorations. There was tinsel in every colour imaginable oozing out of them, strings of lights, packs of garish baubles… Everything he’d had before, and probably more.
Ianto shrugged. “Can’t have you moping all through Christmas; you’ll bring the rest of us down, and you know how Myfanwy gets when she’s depressed. Think of the first lot as a practice run. I’ll help carry these through to the Hub, but the rest is up to you. I’ve got the residents to feed and a pile of filing to do, and I expect to see the place sparkling by the time I’m finished.”
Jack didn’t need any further urging. He grabbed up as many bags as he could carry at once and hurried through the door to the Hub. Ianto followed with a more modest load; a couple more trips and everything would be unloaded.
He already knew the Hub was going to look a complete mess again by the time Jack was finished, all the colours clashing horribly, and tinsel shedding bits everywhere, but if it made Jack happy then Ianto figured he could put up with it. The festive season was only one month or so out of twelve, and the rest of the time good taste could reign supreme.
Jack had little enough to feel happy about, so if he wanted tinsel and glitter everywhere, why not indulge him? The Hub was Jack’s home after all, and some things were more important than being neat, tidy, and colour coordinated. His lover’s way of decorating might result in an eyesore, but Ianto had a feeling it was a lot more fun than his own painstakingly arranged display. Maybe if he finished his filing quickly enough, Jack might even let him help…
Humming a jaunty Christmas tune, Ianto headed for the stairs to the lower levels, twirling a sprig of mistletoe in one hand. He had plans for that later, but like he’d told Jack, first there was work to be done.
The End