Real Life Loss
So, yesterday my Dad died. Not really a shock, certainly not unexpected, he had vascular dementia and had being going downhill fast over the last few months. I didn't get to see him as my health problems mean I can't travel far, but then I haven't seen him for years, we weren't close though we did speak on the phone until it got to the point where he couldn't hold a conversation. It's doubtful he would have known who I was anyway.
It just feels weird that he's gone. We hadn't seen each other much since my parents divorced 30 years ago, but he was still my Dad. I spent a lot of time last night just thinking about all the good memories and all the things I can be grateful to him for. He was far from perfect as a Dad, but he had his good points to balance out the not-so-good. I'm just thankful he didn't hang on for years the way his older sister did, she had vascular dementia too and suffered so much, and I didn't want that for him. Guess it will just take a while to sink in properly, right now I just feel sort of numb and empty.
It just feels weird that he's gone. We hadn't seen each other much since my parents divorced 30 years ago, but he was still my Dad. I spent a lot of time last night just thinking about all the good memories and all the things I can be grateful to him for. He was far from perfect as a Dad, but he had his good points to balance out the not-so-good. I'm just thankful he didn't hang on for years the way his older sister did, she had vascular dementia too and suffered so much, and I didn't want that for him. Guess it will just take a while to sink in properly, right now I just feel sort of numb and empty.