if you had to live with this, you'd rather lie than fall. you think that i can't fly? just watch me.
the woman on the television cries because she is dying. she is told she has a terminal illness. she does not have long to live.
i cry for other reasons, but maybe they're not so different. maybe i'm dying too.
if your heart stops, you die. if it does not work anymore, you get sick, you get weak, and you eventually perish. i know. i've seen it happen.
my heart used to work fine. it pumped blood full of precious oxygen throughout my body in perfect rhythm. it was strong, resiliant, proud. it had a seemingly unlimited capacity for love.
but now it falters. it has been battered and bruised, ill-used by those who should have held it close.
i have always tried to heal. i have always tried to mend it, but how many times can your heart break before it gets to the point where it cannot be repaired?
so now i cry. i cry because i have a broken heart, i cry because i have no idea how to fix it, and i cry because, for all i know, this time it may kill me.
love and other perishables,
erin
p.s. what is the hardest thing you've ever had to do? i have done it. and it may yet prove to be too hard. forgive the journal entry. writing is all i have left.
departure and worry and worry still shake me. resistance failed, resistance failed. and friendship failed, friendship failed. as lovers, we did not fail. as lovers, we did not fail. brown eyes, your pulse is getting hotter. brown eyes, your pulse is getting quicker. quote captain badass, "i am setting your heart on fire, so, when you leave me, i will burn on in your soul." you won't have to think twice. if it's love, you will know. we get no second chance in this life. we get no second chance in this life. so a hot pulse is alright. so a quick pulse is alright. so a hot kiss is alright. so a long kiss is alright. so a long night is alright. and all night is alright. there ain't no contest against the final day. we'll rise above us either way. we're either greeted by life or its reverse, then each day greeted by fortune or its reverse. will you stand up for your one chance? will you stand up for love? we get no second chance in this life. we get no second chance in this life. you won't have to think twice if its love. you will know. (songs: ohia- captain badass)
there are gaps between the light and the dark roads we are on. no gaps between what's right and the need that we have somewhere under six am. there is the room and the events in this room. there is the dark and these events in the dark. there is love and work and lovers work. there is love and work and lovers work. there is love and work and lovers work. love and work. and it took all of my strength to ignore the need to stay. and it took all of my strength to leave you either way. and we are constellations in our own way. and there are these three degrees of merit to us. there is love and work and lovers work. there is love and work and lovers work. there is love and work and lovers work. love and work. (songs: ohia- love and work)
you must have heard that voice loud and plain through all the thunder i surrounded you in. and i once had cause, and i once had strength, but i have been selfish to say the least. i owned up to this, though leaving is a curious way for you to love me. so my life and my whole waiting guilt i enclose late with my dues to you. love leaves its abuser. love leaves its abuser. (songs: ohia- love leaves its abuser)
i cry for other reasons, but maybe they're not so different. maybe i'm dying too.
if your heart stops, you die. if it does not work anymore, you get sick, you get weak, and you eventually perish. i know. i've seen it happen.
my heart used to work fine. it pumped blood full of precious oxygen throughout my body in perfect rhythm. it was strong, resiliant, proud. it had a seemingly unlimited capacity for love.
but now it falters. it has been battered and bruised, ill-used by those who should have held it close.
i have always tried to heal. i have always tried to mend it, but how many times can your heart break before it gets to the point where it cannot be repaired?
so now i cry. i cry because i have a broken heart, i cry because i have no idea how to fix it, and i cry because, for all i know, this time it may kill me.
love and other perishables,
erin
p.s. what is the hardest thing you've ever had to do? i have done it. and it may yet prove to be too hard. forgive the journal entry. writing is all i have left.
departure and worry and worry still shake me. resistance failed, resistance failed. and friendship failed, friendship failed. as lovers, we did not fail. as lovers, we did not fail. brown eyes, your pulse is getting hotter. brown eyes, your pulse is getting quicker. quote captain badass, "i am setting your heart on fire, so, when you leave me, i will burn on in your soul." you won't have to think twice. if it's love, you will know. we get no second chance in this life. we get no second chance in this life. so a hot pulse is alright. so a quick pulse is alright. so a hot kiss is alright. so a long kiss is alright. so a long night is alright. and all night is alright. there ain't no contest against the final day. we'll rise above us either way. we're either greeted by life or its reverse, then each day greeted by fortune or its reverse. will you stand up for your one chance? will you stand up for love? we get no second chance in this life. we get no second chance in this life. you won't have to think twice if its love. you will know. (songs: ohia- captain badass)
there are gaps between the light and the dark roads we are on. no gaps between what's right and the need that we have somewhere under six am. there is the room and the events in this room. there is the dark and these events in the dark. there is love and work and lovers work. there is love and work and lovers work. there is love and work and lovers work. love and work. and it took all of my strength to ignore the need to stay. and it took all of my strength to leave you either way. and we are constellations in our own way. and there are these three degrees of merit to us. there is love and work and lovers work. there is love and work and lovers work. there is love and work and lovers work. love and work. (songs: ohia- love and work)
you must have heard that voice loud and plain through all the thunder i surrounded you in. and i once had cause, and i once had strength, but i have been selfish to say the least. i owned up to this, though leaving is a curious way for you to love me. so my life and my whole waiting guilt i enclose late with my dues to you. love leaves its abuser. love leaves its abuser. (songs: ohia- love leaves its abuser)