i'm afraid that i walk everywhere on my hands. i don't trust where my feet want to take me.
dear diary,
i thought if i was gone for a while, you would realize how much you missed me. i thought maybe you would come back. tonight i realized something though. i will always miss you more than you miss me. i will always think about you more. i will always want to talk to you more. i will always spend my time wondering what you're doing, if you're ok, if you're happy, if you're sad, if you've done something interesting or something mundane. i will thus always be the one to come crawling back.
and i will be the one who suffers when, after i finally do call, we talk about the weather.
i miss you. i really do. more than i can articulate. conversations like the one we had tonight hurt because i feel like i'm farther away from you than ever. i wonder if i'm just supposed to pretend the fights don't happen, if i'm just supposed to move on and forget them and never bring them up. i don't know if i can do that. i don't know how i can be close to you again (which is what i really want) if we never talk about the hurt and tension that lingers there between us like an elephant in a room full of fine china. i know it seems sometimes like we can just pick up where we left off, but doing that hurts me. i feel like... i have all these things that i want to say but can't because you've already moved on. i feel like you're trying to force me to move on by not talking about things with me. (this may not be true... it's just how i feel.) well, i'm not sure it works that way. i'm not sure if i can move on if i don't talk about these things. (not that i'm sure if i can move on if i do talk about them... but i'd like to think i can.) but i guess i'm not really sure about anything, now am i?
i don't know what to do. and i know you don't either. we appear to be stuck. how do we get unstuck? i just don't know. all i know is that i hurt. but, more than that, i know i miss you. so come back. let me be close to you again. what do i have to do or say to make it ok for you to let me do that? i'm desperate here. i cry every night. i'm miserable. so tell me. please. what can i do to be your friend again? if you want me to tell you everything, i will. if you want me to keep it to myself, i will. i would prefer to be able to share things with you, but the most important thing is that i stay friends with you. so how do i do that? cause i need you. probably less than you think, but, at the same time, more than you will ever know.
love and other perishables,
erin
daily reading of the lyrical gospel: there are worse things a guy could do with his time than to sit and think of you. i think i'd marry you. just your smile leaves me satisfied, though you're not mine. so for the rest of my life, i'm gonna search for someone just like you. and we'd tend the garden all day long, watching history unfold. and i'd be enough, and you'd be enough, and we'd grow old. so for the rest of my life, i'm gonna search for someone just like you. so for the rest of my life, i'm gonna search for someone just like you. yeah, for the rest of my life, i'm gonna search for someone just like you. (rilo kiley- rest of my life)
will i be the stranger in your movie? is there a place for me in the patterns that glow on your skin and your clothes? hold him. hold his thin frame in your arms when everything flows from his skin and his clothes. i'm flying so over it. silverfish line his pocket. silver quick he leaves. (i don't want to know about your ill-fated love affair.) flying so over it, flying so over your head. hold him when everything glows on his skin. well, i've been much stranger. i've watched you from afar. now everything shows on my skin and my clothes. i'm flying so over it. silverfish line his pocket. silver quick he leaves. (i don't want to hear about your poorly-timed rock career.) flying so over it, flying so over your head. (belly- silverfish)
where i live, there's a blanket of gauze, and it covers the scars of the drunks who are hungry as ever. where i live, there's a blanket of sighs, and it covers the stars. in my heart, i'm as hungry as ever. this is the room where we met. where i live, there's a lady who walks everywhere on her hands. doesn't trust where her feet want to take her. where i live, there's this lady who walks everywhere on her hands. she doesn't trust where her feet want to take her. this is the room where we met. this is the dress i had on. this is not the moment you fear when you wake up and no one is there. low hangs the moon inside this room so that i'm a witness when you judas my heart, judas my heart. where i live, there's a blanket of sighs, and it covers the stars. in my heart, i'm as hungry as ever. where i live, i'm afraid that i walk everywhere on my hands. i don't trust where my feet want to take me. this is the room where we met. this is the dress i had on. this is not the moment i fear. i say "i" instead of "she," now you're here. low hangs the moon inside this room so that i'm a witness when you judas my heart, judas my heart. can i get a witness when you do this to my heart again? can i get a witness when you judas my heart again? where i live, there's a lady who walks everywhere on her hands. just like me, doesn't trust where her feet want to take her again, feet want to take her again, and her feet want to take her again. she loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah. (belly- judas my heart)
i thought if i was gone for a while, you would realize how much you missed me. i thought maybe you would come back. tonight i realized something though. i will always miss you more than you miss me. i will always think about you more. i will always want to talk to you more. i will always spend my time wondering what you're doing, if you're ok, if you're happy, if you're sad, if you've done something interesting or something mundane. i will thus always be the one to come crawling back.
and i will be the one who suffers when, after i finally do call, we talk about the weather.
i miss you. i really do. more than i can articulate. conversations like the one we had tonight hurt because i feel like i'm farther away from you than ever. i wonder if i'm just supposed to pretend the fights don't happen, if i'm just supposed to move on and forget them and never bring them up. i don't know if i can do that. i don't know how i can be close to you again (which is what i really want) if we never talk about the hurt and tension that lingers there between us like an elephant in a room full of fine china. i know it seems sometimes like we can just pick up where we left off, but doing that hurts me. i feel like... i have all these things that i want to say but can't because you've already moved on. i feel like you're trying to force me to move on by not talking about things with me. (this may not be true... it's just how i feel.) well, i'm not sure it works that way. i'm not sure if i can move on if i don't talk about these things. (not that i'm sure if i can move on if i do talk about them... but i'd like to think i can.) but i guess i'm not really sure about anything, now am i?
i don't know what to do. and i know you don't either. we appear to be stuck. how do we get unstuck? i just don't know. all i know is that i hurt. but, more than that, i know i miss you. so come back. let me be close to you again. what do i have to do or say to make it ok for you to let me do that? i'm desperate here. i cry every night. i'm miserable. so tell me. please. what can i do to be your friend again? if you want me to tell you everything, i will. if you want me to keep it to myself, i will. i would prefer to be able to share things with you, but the most important thing is that i stay friends with you. so how do i do that? cause i need you. probably less than you think, but, at the same time, more than you will ever know.
love and other perishables,
erin
daily reading of the lyrical gospel: there are worse things a guy could do with his time than to sit and think of you. i think i'd marry you. just your smile leaves me satisfied, though you're not mine. so for the rest of my life, i'm gonna search for someone just like you. and we'd tend the garden all day long, watching history unfold. and i'd be enough, and you'd be enough, and we'd grow old. so for the rest of my life, i'm gonna search for someone just like you. so for the rest of my life, i'm gonna search for someone just like you. yeah, for the rest of my life, i'm gonna search for someone just like you. (rilo kiley- rest of my life)
will i be the stranger in your movie? is there a place for me in the patterns that glow on your skin and your clothes? hold him. hold his thin frame in your arms when everything flows from his skin and his clothes. i'm flying so over it. silverfish line his pocket. silver quick he leaves. (i don't want to know about your ill-fated love affair.) flying so over it, flying so over your head. hold him when everything glows on his skin. well, i've been much stranger. i've watched you from afar. now everything shows on my skin and my clothes. i'm flying so over it. silverfish line his pocket. silver quick he leaves. (i don't want to hear about your poorly-timed rock career.) flying so over it, flying so over your head. (belly- silverfish)
where i live, there's a blanket of gauze, and it covers the scars of the drunks who are hungry as ever. where i live, there's a blanket of sighs, and it covers the stars. in my heart, i'm as hungry as ever. this is the room where we met. where i live, there's a lady who walks everywhere on her hands. doesn't trust where her feet want to take her. where i live, there's this lady who walks everywhere on her hands. she doesn't trust where her feet want to take her. this is the room where we met. this is the dress i had on. this is not the moment you fear when you wake up and no one is there. low hangs the moon inside this room so that i'm a witness when you judas my heart, judas my heart. where i live, there's a blanket of sighs, and it covers the stars. in my heart, i'm as hungry as ever. where i live, i'm afraid that i walk everywhere on my hands. i don't trust where my feet want to take me. this is the room where we met. this is the dress i had on. this is not the moment i fear. i say "i" instead of "she," now you're here. low hangs the moon inside this room so that i'm a witness when you judas my heart, judas my heart. can i get a witness when you do this to my heart again? can i get a witness when you judas my heart again? where i live, there's a lady who walks everywhere on her hands. just like me, doesn't trust where her feet want to take her again, feet want to take her again, and her feet want to take her again. she loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah. (belly- judas my heart)