Security Measures

[badkel]

There is a butcher knife beside my bed
to fight away predators
and her irrational fears
Utility, practicality apparently non-issues
Not long ago, my presence sufficed
and I wonder what fault I exposed to
render myself insufficient protection against
unknown evils
But the blade became necessity
and a reminder of
failing perfection
unresolved trauma
and the horror that is existence
A little girl clutching a blanket grown
into a woman hiding deadly metal at bedside
Now reflecting light, a restless observation
and suggestion of absence
Missing the effortless breath and pretty lips
which smother my own childish misgivings
Her impractical requirement for assurance
emphasizing my need for her nearness
to chase away death wishes
and the unremitting disquiet
of my mind