it is what it is... i'm tired of saying that.
:: this could be home for a little while ::
i think i've exhausted myself. not just from yesterday or the late nights on weekends. things just seem to be about work. it's not on my mind or anything and i don't, thankfully, take it home with me but it seems to be all that i do. i do my time and head home. i try to get in a little exercise and stay up too late for no good reason and do it all over again. it's like a holding pattern but this plane is descending fast.
i need a vacation or something. it seems we always need that 'something'. it's on the tip of our tongues or mind but we dare not say it either because we don't want to jinx it or admit to it. probably more the latter than former in most people cases. i think i need to just get away from everything. hide myself in a cave or some remote place in the woods... just disappear.
it's funny when people ask what would i do if i won the lottery or, miraculously, had the money. i said i'd pay off my family's mortgage. pay off my future condo. buy a place for my sister and help pay off friends' student loans/weddings (if any) and then i'd just go away. i'd fade into the background and come up only when i need to.
people see me as a strong person but deep down inside i don't think i am. strong people don't have a tendency to run now do they? they don't turn around when there are problems. they hit it head on. i think i'd just tired of facing things and hitting them straight in the eyes (most times). go hard or go home... i just want to go home.
but where's home? where is it really?