Bah bah black sheep
When compared to my roommate/co-teacher, Carmen, I look like a rebel. I am the black sheep of our squeaky clean-cut church school staff. Really, I'm not that bad. But Carmen, on the other hand, is really that good.
We've been living under the same roof, working the same hours everyday for the past 9 months. I have YET to see her mad or hear her raise her voice. She doesn't get upset with me when I forget to take out the trash (sometimes twice in a row) on my designated days. She never complains when I make a mess in the kitchen and sometimes surprises me by washing my mound of dirty dishes herself. Not a single cuss word, not even PG-versions like "freaking" exists in her vocabulary. She only listens to positive, uplifting music and steers clear of R-rated films. Her glass is always overflowing and a smile is constantly plastered on her face.
The school staff absolutely adores her. She is their model teacher. Carmen is always willing to go 34567087 extra miles more than what is expected from us teachers. She's always brainstorming of new activities and events for the school and is always the first to volunteer her time to help (even on weekends). When our director shared the news that our school's enrollment was going down, Carmen eagerly jumped at the opportunity to go door-to-door to advertise our school. She's also very thoughtful. She always makes sure to bring souvenirs not only for the entire staff but for all of her students whenever she comes back from a trip. She does all this not because she has to, but because she wants to. She even does it all with an extra boost of enthusiasm.
And then there's me. ME. I do my job the best that I can. I even do it with a smile. I am super animated and silly like a fucking ADHD kid on Barney for my kids' classes. I feign interest and successfully stay awake for 60 minutes for some my dullest adult classes. I nod my head, laugh, make "mmmhmmmm" and "ohhhh" sounds, and ask mundane routine questions when the timing is appropriate. I feed them with the english conversation lessons they paid for, and I make sure to give them the bang for their buck, er, yen. I even have my own share of extra-curricular activities under my belt. For example, last Thanksgiving. I single-handedly coordinated and executed a damn good Thanksgiving dinner party for the students. But all that is over-shadowed by Carmen because unlike her, I'm not willing to give up my weekends to hold some program for the children in the park. I don't want to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn to hand out flyers. I don't have the time in between climbing mountains and snorkeling in the Philippines to buy all 40 of my students a little trinket.
I'll admit: I'm forgetful, sometimes tardy, and sometimes under prepared for class, but I do my job and I get it done. My students seem to like me (a few of them have expressed their approval to my director) and I have actually seen their level of English improve in the past 9 months. I put forth a lot of effort in teaching, but as long as I'm working alongside with worker-bee Carmen, I'm afraid it will never seem like it's enough.
[sigh.]
We've been living under the same roof, working the same hours everyday for the past 9 months. I have YET to see her mad or hear her raise her voice. She doesn't get upset with me when I forget to take out the trash (sometimes twice in a row) on my designated days. She never complains when I make a mess in the kitchen and sometimes surprises me by washing my mound of dirty dishes herself. Not a single cuss word, not even PG-versions like "freaking" exists in her vocabulary. She only listens to positive, uplifting music and steers clear of R-rated films. Her glass is always overflowing and a smile is constantly plastered on her face.
The school staff absolutely adores her. She is their model teacher. Carmen is always willing to go 34567087 extra miles more than what is expected from us teachers. She's always brainstorming of new activities and events for the school and is always the first to volunteer her time to help (even on weekends). When our director shared the news that our school's enrollment was going down, Carmen eagerly jumped at the opportunity to go door-to-door to advertise our school. She's also very thoughtful. She always makes sure to bring souvenirs not only for the entire staff but for all of her students whenever she comes back from a trip. She does all this not because she has to, but because she wants to. She even does it all with an extra boost of enthusiasm.
And then there's me. ME. I do my job the best that I can. I even do it with a smile. I am super animated and silly like a fucking ADHD kid on Barney for my kids' classes. I feign interest and successfully stay awake for 60 minutes for some my dullest adult classes. I nod my head, laugh, make "mmmhmmmm" and "ohhhh" sounds, and ask mundane routine questions when the timing is appropriate. I feed them with the english conversation lessons they paid for, and I make sure to give them the bang for their buck, er, yen. I even have my own share of extra-curricular activities under my belt. For example, last Thanksgiving. I single-handedly coordinated and executed a damn good Thanksgiving dinner party for the students. But all that is over-shadowed by Carmen because unlike her, I'm not willing to give up my weekends to hold some program for the children in the park. I don't want to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn to hand out flyers. I don't have the time in between climbing mountains and snorkeling in the Philippines to buy all 40 of my students a little trinket.
I'll admit: I'm forgetful, sometimes tardy, and sometimes under prepared for class, but I do my job and I get it done. My students seem to like me (a few of them have expressed their approval to my director) and I have actually seen their level of English improve in the past 9 months. I put forth a lot of effort in teaching, but as long as I'm working alongside with worker-bee Carmen, I'm afraid it will never seem like it's enough.
[sigh.]