A Play scene i had to write for a final
A man dressed in a black suit and tie named Steve sits alone at an airport bar.
Another man dressed in the same black suit and tie as Steven walks up to the bar and takes a sea he lays a briefcase on the bar in front of him.
Kurt: Hey man
Steve: How’d it go?
Kurt: It went ok, he was a bit of a cowboy, but I took care of him. You should have seen it. I walked in there, and the guy was watching TV in his underwear, he sees me and he just freaks out. He pulled a gun out from under his couch, but I shot him before he could do anything. Then, I waited a few seconds and I said, “Tag ‘em and bag ‘em”
Steve: You said what?
Kurt: Tag ‘em and bag ‘em
Steve: What the hell? Why?
Kurt: Because it’s cool.
Steve: No, it’s really not.
Kurt: Yeah it is, I mean, that how it happens in movies and books. We’re hit men, we gotta say really cool catchphrases and that sort of thing after we kill someone.
Steve: All right, first of all, this isn’t a movie. Second, who the hell were you talking to? And third, if this was a movie, that would be a horrible catchphrase.
Kurt: I can work on the catchphrase.
Steve: No, you can’t.
Kurt: Aw, come on man; let me have a catch phrase.
Steve: No, that’s it, were done with this.
(Long Pause)
Kurt: What about “see you in hell”?
Steve: No, damn it!
(Long Pause)
Steve: Fine, whatever, just pick something else, nothing from a Clint Eastwood movie though.
Kurt: Thanks man.
Steve: Whatever… You’re the one who’s going to look like a retard when some actually hears you say that.
Steven: Is that our money? (Pointing towards the suitcase)
Kurt: Yeah, it’s all here, I counted it in the cab.
Steve: You took a cab? What happened to the car?
Kurt: The car? The car is gone.
Steven: Well where’d it go?
Kurt: That’s not important, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.
Steve: All right…
Kurt: How’d your job go man?
Steven: Everything went according to plan.
Kurt: You don’t want to tell me about it?
Steve: What? Why?
Kurt: Well, it’s like our thing, we go, and we kill someone, and then we come to an airport bar and tell stories about it, it’s what we do.
Steve: When did we decide that?
Kurt: Just tell me what happened.
Steve: Fine, all right. I drove down to the guy’s apartment. And I took the stairs up.
Kurt: Why’d you take the stairs?
Steve: Because less people see you when you take the stairs, now stop interrupting me.
Kurt: Sorry
Steve: So I’m standing outside of his door, and I kick it in. and the guy is in there, sitting at a table playing poker with a bunch of his buddies. I see at least five of them go for their guns. I pull out my two guns and they’re all dead before anyone knew what happened.
Kurt: Jesus man, did that really happen?
Steve: No, of course not, he was asleep, and I shot him in his bed. That kind of stuff doesn’t happen.
Kurt: Well I liked the first story more.
Steven: You’re hopeless.
Kurt: What does that mean?
Steven: Nothing… What do you want to eat?
Kurt: I don’t know… The food is horrible at all these places anyway. I still don’t know why you insist on coming to these bars all the time.
Steve: I like the atmosphere, now what do you want to eat?
Kurt: What atmosphere?
(Silence)
Kurt: …Buffalo wings… And a beer.
Steve: Good man.
Steve: (to the bar tender) I need two orders of Buffalo wings and two beers.
Kurt: When’s our flight?
Steve: 3:15
Kurt: We’ve got like 3 hours to wait, what the hell man.
Steve: I wanted to be fairly hammered before I got onto the plane.
Kurt: Why can’t you fly sober?
Steve: I don’t like planes, don’t worry about it.
Kurt: You are a mystery my friend.
Steve: Stop talking and let me drink
Kurt: Don’t drink as much as you did last time, I don’t want you to throw up on me when the plane takes off this time.
Steve: I already apologies for that, you don’t have to keep bringing it up every time I have something to drink.
Kurt: I’m Just saying, these are nice pants and I don’t want your vomit all over them.
Steve: Stop talking about it or I’ll do it again.
Kurt: Fine… All right, so what’s our next job?
Steve: It was in the file, didn’t you read it?
Kurt: I never read those things, being prepared is your deal.
Steve: It a wonder you kill the right guy every time, you know that?
Kurt: Lay off man, just tell me who the mark is.
Steve: Some Wall Street guy, I’m not sure. You know Vince?
Kurt: Of course I know Vince.
Steve: Right, well apparently this guy slept with Vince’s wife or something.
Kurt: He slept with Vince’s wife? Shit man.
Steve: I know, right. But that’s not all, this guy also owes Vince a shit load of money.
Kurt: How much?
Steve: I’m not sure exactly, triple digits though, I know that.
Kurt: Sounds like this guy is pretty fucked.
Steve: Well we wouldn’t be going to visit him if h wasn’t.
Kurt: That’s true.
Steve: Anyway, were supposed to go to this guy’s house, get him, hi wife and his kid, and bring them all back to Vince.
Kurt: We’re taking the wife and the kid too?
Steve: The file said the whole family, so that’s what we’re doing.
Kurt: I don’t know about that man, I don’t do women and children, I thought you didn’t either.
Steve: Well this is an exception. You know if we don’t follow through with this thing we’re gonna be getting a visit from a few guys ourselves.
Kurt: Vince wouldn’t do that to us.
Steve: You think we’re special? We’re not. We’re just good at what we do, and once that stops, we’re unnecessary.
Kurt: Fuck man… Well how old is the kid?
Steve: He’s ten.
Kurt: Ten? Shit… I’m not going to kill a ten-year-old man.
Steve: we’re not killing them, were just taking them to see Vincent.
Kurt: Well you know Vincent’s gonna kill them.
Steve: How Vincent handles his affairs is none of our business. Now finish your beer.
Kurt: I need to go take a walk, I’ll be back in a little while.
Steve: All right man.
Kurt gets up and walks away from the bar. Steve moves the briefcase so it is positioned in front of him. He opens the case and looks at the money inside. Gently, he closes the suitcase, and then lights up a cigarette. A woman in a red dress walks up to the bar and takes a seat next to Steve.
Woman: Drinking alone?
Steve: For the time being. What about you?
Woman: What about me?
Steve: Well, what’s your name?
Woman: I’m Heather, and who are you?
Steve: Me? I’m Tom
Heather: Well Tom, what do you do for a living?
Steve: I’m a lawyer.
Heather: A lawyer huh? I hear there’s a lot of money in that.
Steve: I do all right
Heather: I’m sure you do. How do you like the legal world?
Steve: It’s all right, nothing too exciting, mostly a lot of reading and paperwork. But let’s talk more about you Heather, what brought you too this bar?
Heather: I can’t fly sober
Steve: Really? Why not?
Heather: I just don’t like planes, I never have. They make me really uncomfortable, you know?
Steve: I don’t actually, I love to fly.
Heather: Well then why are you drinking? Did you convict an innocent person or something?
Steve: There’s really no such thing as an innocent person. No, I’m just drinking to pass the time.
Heather: When’s your flight?
Steve: It’s in about 3 hours.
Heather: Why are you here so early then?
Steve: Well with all the security checks, you never know how long these things are going to take.
Heather: Ah, it’s really too bad that those are necessary now. The way some people just don’t care about a life, it’s appalling.
Steve: Yes, it is.
Heather: Well this has been nice, but I’m afraid I have to go, so maybe I’ll see you around.
Steve: Maybe
Heather gets up and walks away, as she is leaving Kurt walks back to the bar and takes the same seat next to Steve.
Kurt: Who was that?
Steve: Some girl.
Kurt: She was a looker, did you get her number?
Steve: Even if I wanted her number, it’s not like anything would come from it.
Kurt: Well I know, but I think some female contact would be good for you, who do you talk to besides the employers and me?
Steve: No one, I don’t need to talk to anyone else:
Kurt: It’s like I keep saying man, you need a girlfriend or something, you’re gonna go crazy sooner or later if you don’t get one.
Steve: I don’t need a girlfriend.
Kurt: Well a boyfriend then, or whatever, I’m not going to judge you.
Steve: I’m not gay.
Kurt: I’m not saying you are, but if you were, it’d be all right, you know that right?
Steve: Are we done?
Kurt: Yeah.. Come one, let’s go wait at the terminal, I’ll buy you a playboy on the way there.
Steve: All right, lets go. But you’re not buying anyone a playboy.
Kurt: Fine, suit yourself.
Kurt and Steve both stand up, Kurt picks up the brief case and both men walk towards their terminal.
Another man dressed in the same black suit and tie as Steven walks up to the bar and takes a sea he lays a briefcase on the bar in front of him.
Kurt: Hey man
Steve: How’d it go?
Kurt: It went ok, he was a bit of a cowboy, but I took care of him. You should have seen it. I walked in there, and the guy was watching TV in his underwear, he sees me and he just freaks out. He pulled a gun out from under his couch, but I shot him before he could do anything. Then, I waited a few seconds and I said, “Tag ‘em and bag ‘em”
Steve: You said what?
Kurt: Tag ‘em and bag ‘em
Steve: What the hell? Why?
Kurt: Because it’s cool.
Steve: No, it’s really not.
Kurt: Yeah it is, I mean, that how it happens in movies and books. We’re hit men, we gotta say really cool catchphrases and that sort of thing after we kill someone.
Steve: All right, first of all, this isn’t a movie. Second, who the hell were you talking to? And third, if this was a movie, that would be a horrible catchphrase.
Kurt: I can work on the catchphrase.
Steve: No, you can’t.
Kurt: Aw, come on man; let me have a catch phrase.
Steve: No, that’s it, were done with this.
(Long Pause)
Kurt: What about “see you in hell”?
Steve: No, damn it!
(Long Pause)
Steve: Fine, whatever, just pick something else, nothing from a Clint Eastwood movie though.
Kurt: Thanks man.
Steve: Whatever… You’re the one who’s going to look like a retard when some actually hears you say that.
Steven: Is that our money? (Pointing towards the suitcase)
Kurt: Yeah, it’s all here, I counted it in the cab.
Steve: You took a cab? What happened to the car?
Kurt: The car? The car is gone.
Steven: Well where’d it go?
Kurt: That’s not important, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.
Steve: All right…
Kurt: How’d your job go man?
Steven: Everything went according to plan.
Kurt: You don’t want to tell me about it?
Steve: What? Why?
Kurt: Well, it’s like our thing, we go, and we kill someone, and then we come to an airport bar and tell stories about it, it’s what we do.
Steve: When did we decide that?
Kurt: Just tell me what happened.
Steve: Fine, all right. I drove down to the guy’s apartment. And I took the stairs up.
Kurt: Why’d you take the stairs?
Steve: Because less people see you when you take the stairs, now stop interrupting me.
Kurt: Sorry
Steve: So I’m standing outside of his door, and I kick it in. and the guy is in there, sitting at a table playing poker with a bunch of his buddies. I see at least five of them go for their guns. I pull out my two guns and they’re all dead before anyone knew what happened.
Kurt: Jesus man, did that really happen?
Steve: No, of course not, he was asleep, and I shot him in his bed. That kind of stuff doesn’t happen.
Kurt: Well I liked the first story more.
Steven: You’re hopeless.
Kurt: What does that mean?
Steven: Nothing… What do you want to eat?
Kurt: I don’t know… The food is horrible at all these places anyway. I still don’t know why you insist on coming to these bars all the time.
Steve: I like the atmosphere, now what do you want to eat?
Kurt: What atmosphere?
(Silence)
Kurt: …Buffalo wings… And a beer.
Steve: Good man.
Steve: (to the bar tender) I need two orders of Buffalo wings and two beers.
Kurt: When’s our flight?
Steve: 3:15
Kurt: We’ve got like 3 hours to wait, what the hell man.
Steve: I wanted to be fairly hammered before I got onto the plane.
Kurt: Why can’t you fly sober?
Steve: I don’t like planes, don’t worry about it.
Kurt: You are a mystery my friend.
Steve: Stop talking and let me drink
Kurt: Don’t drink as much as you did last time, I don’t want you to throw up on me when the plane takes off this time.
Steve: I already apologies for that, you don’t have to keep bringing it up every time I have something to drink.
Kurt: I’m Just saying, these are nice pants and I don’t want your vomit all over them.
Steve: Stop talking about it or I’ll do it again.
Kurt: Fine… All right, so what’s our next job?
Steve: It was in the file, didn’t you read it?
Kurt: I never read those things, being prepared is your deal.
Steve: It a wonder you kill the right guy every time, you know that?
Kurt: Lay off man, just tell me who the mark is.
Steve: Some Wall Street guy, I’m not sure. You know Vince?
Kurt: Of course I know Vince.
Steve: Right, well apparently this guy slept with Vince’s wife or something.
Kurt: He slept with Vince’s wife? Shit man.
Steve: I know, right. But that’s not all, this guy also owes Vince a shit load of money.
Kurt: How much?
Steve: I’m not sure exactly, triple digits though, I know that.
Kurt: Sounds like this guy is pretty fucked.
Steve: Well we wouldn’t be going to visit him if h wasn’t.
Kurt: That’s true.
Steve: Anyway, were supposed to go to this guy’s house, get him, hi wife and his kid, and bring them all back to Vince.
Kurt: We’re taking the wife and the kid too?
Steve: The file said the whole family, so that’s what we’re doing.
Kurt: I don’t know about that man, I don’t do women and children, I thought you didn’t either.
Steve: Well this is an exception. You know if we don’t follow through with this thing we’re gonna be getting a visit from a few guys ourselves.
Kurt: Vince wouldn’t do that to us.
Steve: You think we’re special? We’re not. We’re just good at what we do, and once that stops, we’re unnecessary.
Kurt: Fuck man… Well how old is the kid?
Steve: He’s ten.
Kurt: Ten? Shit… I’m not going to kill a ten-year-old man.
Steve: we’re not killing them, were just taking them to see Vincent.
Kurt: Well you know Vincent’s gonna kill them.
Steve: How Vincent handles his affairs is none of our business. Now finish your beer.
Kurt: I need to go take a walk, I’ll be back in a little while.
Steve: All right man.
Kurt gets up and walks away from the bar. Steve moves the briefcase so it is positioned in front of him. He opens the case and looks at the money inside. Gently, he closes the suitcase, and then lights up a cigarette. A woman in a red dress walks up to the bar and takes a seat next to Steve.
Woman: Drinking alone?
Steve: For the time being. What about you?
Woman: What about me?
Steve: Well, what’s your name?
Woman: I’m Heather, and who are you?
Steve: Me? I’m Tom
Heather: Well Tom, what do you do for a living?
Steve: I’m a lawyer.
Heather: A lawyer huh? I hear there’s a lot of money in that.
Steve: I do all right
Heather: I’m sure you do. How do you like the legal world?
Steve: It’s all right, nothing too exciting, mostly a lot of reading and paperwork. But let’s talk more about you Heather, what brought you too this bar?
Heather: I can’t fly sober
Steve: Really? Why not?
Heather: I just don’t like planes, I never have. They make me really uncomfortable, you know?
Steve: I don’t actually, I love to fly.
Heather: Well then why are you drinking? Did you convict an innocent person or something?
Steve: There’s really no such thing as an innocent person. No, I’m just drinking to pass the time.
Heather: When’s your flight?
Steve: It’s in about 3 hours.
Heather: Why are you here so early then?
Steve: Well with all the security checks, you never know how long these things are going to take.
Heather: Ah, it’s really too bad that those are necessary now. The way some people just don’t care about a life, it’s appalling.
Steve: Yes, it is.
Heather: Well this has been nice, but I’m afraid I have to go, so maybe I’ll see you around.
Steve: Maybe
Heather gets up and walks away, as she is leaving Kurt walks back to the bar and takes the same seat next to Steve.
Kurt: Who was that?
Steve: Some girl.
Kurt: She was a looker, did you get her number?
Steve: Even if I wanted her number, it’s not like anything would come from it.
Kurt: Well I know, but I think some female contact would be good for you, who do you talk to besides the employers and me?
Steve: No one, I don’t need to talk to anyone else:
Kurt: It’s like I keep saying man, you need a girlfriend or something, you’re gonna go crazy sooner or later if you don’t get one.
Steve: I don’t need a girlfriend.
Kurt: Well a boyfriend then, or whatever, I’m not going to judge you.
Steve: I’m not gay.
Kurt: I’m not saying you are, but if you were, it’d be all right, you know that right?
Steve: Are we done?
Kurt: Yeah.. Come one, let’s go wait at the terminal, I’ll buy you a playboy on the way there.
Steve: All right, lets go. But you’re not buying anyone a playboy.
Kurt: Fine, suit yourself.
Kurt and Steve both stand up, Kurt picks up the brief case and both men walk towards their terminal.