ups and downs
I've been so tired lately of getting into trouble that the littlest things worry me.
I don't know about other 32 year olds, but I don't regret anything I've ever done. I don't feel old. I don't feel like time is ticking and I should be raising a family by now. I think my life rocks.
Well, I could be a little thinner, but that's minor.
Of course, now that I've a sort-of new job, all the complaints of two days ago vanish into thin air. Hmph.
--
I've never seen her cry this much before. I've never seen her actually in love before. It's unsettling.
--
I paid 500 bucks to print out two chapters of my thesis - and these were the short chapters! This because the video card of our family computer (haha, meaning not Lucas' work pc and not the laptops we each own) died this morning and my laptop was only connected to the printer through the network on the big pc and Lucas had left already for school and I couldn't find the printer's installer CD. *pause for breath*
And then, I go to school to give these revised chapters to my adviser and she says, "Okay, now print out your entire thesis and give it to me so I can look at it as a whole before I give my final comments." Um, print it out again???? After all that shit and P500 bucks?
"Okay." I'm a putz.
I have to revise my conclusion, but she says it's very good. I guess it put me in a happy-happy mood, and hey, I'm gonna make sure it's printable at home because 500 bucks for two chapters is not funny.
--
What Lucas says when I demand the installer CD from him and tell him I spent 500 bucks to print out 65 pages: "Well, that's alright, you have a new job."
I have a new job, part time for now, which is good, and pays well for a part time gig. I start on Tuesday. I realized only today that I'm actually excited. My biggest worry is will I have time to update Turn? Haha, yeah, I know.
--
Haha, Kitch, you're gonna be so sick of me. And Waya, I'll be only two streets away most of the time. :)
--
I'm still teaching, which is why I'm only part-time at the new job for now. I love my students, they're so receptive, at the same time, they want to know more and they think on their own - quite unheard of among most dancers (given that most dancers just want to dance). I'm glad I didn't give them up.
--
Monday, during choreography class-- "Miss, why didn't you dance in the Best-of show?"
Today, in my thesis adviser's office-- "Why didn't you watch it at least?"
If I'm not going to dance in that show, I don't want to see other people ruin dances that had meant something to me, that I had slaved over and perfected, that still affects me when I remember performing it. I wanted to avoid another round of angst, thank you very much.
Dancing in that show would only prove that they were right and my earlier protests about the company mean shit. But you can't really explain that to people without explaining everything else. At least, on my LJ, nobody really wants to figure that out. Except Mikah, who wants to know everything because he is a Transmogrifier. Hmph.
--
Sometimes I look at him and think, how the hell did I get so lucky? Sometimes, I think he doesn't love me as much as I love him, because wouldn't that be too much? Too weird? Too good to be true? But he does. Or he says he does. Or he smiles at me and I know he doesn't have to say it. And it's like everybody in the world should be this happy because it just super rocks.
I remember, this one time I was trying so hard (failing many, many times) to get over this other guy who had broken my heart over and over, I had made myself a mantra: I will find love because I so deserve to be loved the way I love. I only thought of it again today. I swear you never find these things, they come to you.
--
Sunday--
Jacqui: So, why didn't you dance? Ako hindi sumayaw kasi may Wushu ako.
Lucas: Oo nga, bakit di ka sumayaw? Ako, may class ako.
Me: Aba. Ako, may prinsipyo ako.
Jacqui and Lucas: Panalo.
sige-na-nga translation:
Jacqui: I had Wushu.
Lucas: Yeah, why didn't you dance? I had class.
Me: Well. I have principles.
Jacqui and Lucas: Winner.
Hyeah.
--
Egad, this is a lot. Thanks for sticking till the end credits. *hug*
I don't know about other 32 year olds, but I don't regret anything I've ever done. I don't feel old. I don't feel like time is ticking and I should be raising a family by now. I think my life rocks.
Well, I could be a little thinner, but that's minor.
Of course, now that I've a sort-of new job, all the complaints of two days ago vanish into thin air. Hmph.
--
I've never seen her cry this much before. I've never seen her actually in love before. It's unsettling.
--
I paid 500 bucks to print out two chapters of my thesis - and these were the short chapters! This because the video card of our family computer (haha, meaning not Lucas' work pc and not the laptops we each own) died this morning and my laptop was only connected to the printer through the network on the big pc and Lucas had left already for school and I couldn't find the printer's installer CD. *pause for breath*
And then, I go to school to give these revised chapters to my adviser and she says, "Okay, now print out your entire thesis and give it to me so I can look at it as a whole before I give my final comments." Um, print it out again???? After all that shit and P500 bucks?
"Okay." I'm a putz.
I have to revise my conclusion, but she says it's very good. I guess it put me in a happy-happy mood, and hey, I'm gonna make sure it's printable at home because 500 bucks for two chapters is not funny.
--
What Lucas says when I demand the installer CD from him and tell him I spent 500 bucks to print out 65 pages: "Well, that's alright, you have a new job."
I have a new job, part time for now, which is good, and pays well for a part time gig. I start on Tuesday. I realized only today that I'm actually excited. My biggest worry is will I have time to update Turn? Haha, yeah, I know.
--
Haha, Kitch, you're gonna be so sick of me. And Waya, I'll be only two streets away most of the time. :)
--
I'm still teaching, which is why I'm only part-time at the new job for now. I love my students, they're so receptive, at the same time, they want to know more and they think on their own - quite unheard of among most dancers (given that most dancers just want to dance). I'm glad I didn't give them up.
--
Monday, during choreography class-- "Miss, why didn't you dance in the Best-of show?"
Today, in my thesis adviser's office-- "Why didn't you watch it at least?"
If I'm not going to dance in that show, I don't want to see other people ruin dances that had meant something to me, that I had slaved over and perfected, that still affects me when I remember performing it. I wanted to avoid another round of angst, thank you very much.
Dancing in that show would only prove that they were right and my earlier protests about the company mean shit. But you can't really explain that to people without explaining everything else. At least, on my LJ, nobody really wants to figure that out. Except Mikah, who wants to know everything because he is a Transmogrifier. Hmph.
--
Sometimes I look at him and think, how the hell did I get so lucky? Sometimes, I think he doesn't love me as much as I love him, because wouldn't that be too much? Too weird? Too good to be true? But he does. Or he says he does. Or he smiles at me and I know he doesn't have to say it. And it's like everybody in the world should be this happy because it just super rocks.
I remember, this one time I was trying so hard (failing many, many times) to get over this other guy who had broken my heart over and over, I had made myself a mantra: I will find love because I so deserve to be loved the way I love. I only thought of it again today. I swear you never find these things, they come to you.
--
Sunday--
Jacqui: So, why didn't you dance? Ako hindi sumayaw kasi may Wushu ako.
Lucas: Oo nga, bakit di ka sumayaw? Ako, may class ako.
Me: Aba. Ako, may prinsipyo ako.
Jacqui and Lucas: Panalo.
sige-na-nga translation:
Jacqui: I had Wushu.
Lucas: Yeah, why didn't you dance? I had class.
Me: Well. I have principles.
Jacqui and Lucas: Winner.
Hyeah.
--
Egad, this is a lot. Thanks for sticking till the end credits. *hug*