Sylvia's Observation

[outsidethebx]

Title: Sylvia's Observation
Author: Outsidethebx
Fandom: Bad Girls
Pairing: Helen/Nikki
Summary: What if Sylvia had found out about Helen and Nikki?
Prompt: For Ralst's 1001 Nights Challenge-"Breasts"
AN: This is what happens when I'm bored at work. Unbeta'd
Word Count: 606
Archiving: Sure
Disclaimer: I have no ownership of Bad girls

Comments

[xclairedelune]

but it was more like a second job than a relationship

Very well stated...lots of undercurrent of meaning.

I like the whole entry...concise and makes sense. You know...each of your entries is so different from the other. I think you must be an interesting person!

[outsidethebx]

lol. I just go with the mood I'm in--that's about the best explanation I can give. :)

Glad you liked it. I wasn't sure how I felt about the fic. When I first began writing, I'd finish and post immediately. I'm learning that patience is a virtue (and a much better editor), but this one was posted pretty soon after completion.

The best part of your feedback was that you though my fic made sense. :) I was seriously wondering about that...

[monocycle]

Nice peep into Sylvia's head.

Couple of minor continuity/language notes:
-Sylvia had been in the service twelve years as of series one.
-They live in a stand-alone (or at least semi-detached, can't rightly remember) house. That wouldn't be called a 'flat'.

There are a few other minor vocab issues that I can go into if you like, but I know a big comment filled with nit-picks can be really annoying for some folk.

[outsidethebx]

I think it would be easier, if you were serious about pointing out issues, to shoot me an email.

critical_edition@yahoo.com

That way, we could correspond, and everyone else in here wouldn't be privy of the corrections. :)

[marrog]

Well, it's up to you of course. I'd have to warn you in advance that I'm an incredibly harsh critic (much better critic than a writer, actually), and my comments are bound to run into matters of style and language use. You may not really want to hear it, and I would deeply dislike to end up falling out with anyone over my criticism of what is, after all, just a bit of fun.

[anonymous]

Will their be a sequel?? Bodybag sure is nosey!!

AMW

[outsidethebx]

She does put her nose where it doesn't belong!

Not sure about a sequel...we'll see. :)

[torak303]

I love the way you managed to envoke sympathy for Sylvia and yet alienate her through her discrimination and general being-a-horrible-person. The ending was great, I love it

[outsidethebx]

I'm glad you liked it. I think Sylvia is one of the more complex characters in the series, and one of my favorites. :)