Hmmm....lately
Wow, it has been a long time since i updated.... well tony and i are together... i asked him for once... he talked to my gma for over an hour and sent her something he wrote for me before we got back together and before we ever talked... he made up a story about a girl wanting to committ suicide just so he could talk to me... he wrote something so beautiful... I might be going to South carolina with him and his family in august... I am excited... my mom said she would think about it... i prolly can go.... i am excited... working still... I need to get some money... i want to go up to tony's house this weekend.... fun fun... we went to the beach yesterday, me and tony and my brother and my bro's friend... we had a lot of fun.... gloria is doing pretty well... i hope they can find out what is wrong with her.... anyway, i am going home and getting online at my house, and then writing in my journal....see ya everyone....
Heres that thing tony wrote me
Friday, June 24th, 2005:
There is this girl, though I used to think that SHE was crazy, the more these days wear on, the more I realize that I may be the one that is actually "crazy", I mean, i've fucked up a lot of things in my life, and more recently I have almost unrepairably fucked up myself...
Not physically, but mentally and emotionally, no one else is at fault except for me, i'm the only person to blame, I told this "crazy" girl that I loved her, did I mean it? I told her I didn't, but the more I deny it, the more it kills me when I try to deny it, it gets harder and harder everyday not to say it in my mind to her, she knows who she is, and I know what everyone else thinks, maybe they are ALL right, maybe I am the one that's in denial, I just try not to admit it, but every night before I go to sleep, I try not to mutter the words "_______, I love you."
It breaks me to the point of today, because I just cannot take it anymore, she needs to know, but I don't know how to tell her anymore, I can't just take her aside and tell her this, because i'm supposed to be the guy with no "feelings"....
So this is what he wrote, which was really sweet... god i love him... and he really loves me too... now we just have one problem in our way....why dont everyone guess what that is....
Heres that thing tony wrote me
Friday, June 24th, 2005:
There is this girl, though I used to think that SHE was crazy, the more these days wear on, the more I realize that I may be the one that is actually "crazy", I mean, i've fucked up a lot of things in my life, and more recently I have almost unrepairably fucked up myself...
Not physically, but mentally and emotionally, no one else is at fault except for me, i'm the only person to blame, I told this "crazy" girl that I loved her, did I mean it? I told her I didn't, but the more I deny it, the more it kills me when I try to deny it, it gets harder and harder everyday not to say it in my mind to her, she knows who she is, and I know what everyone else thinks, maybe they are ALL right, maybe I am the one that's in denial, I just try not to admit it, but every night before I go to sleep, I try not to mutter the words "_______, I love you."
It breaks me to the point of today, because I just cannot take it anymore, she needs to know, but I don't know how to tell her anymore, I can't just take her aside and tell her this, because i'm supposed to be the guy with no "feelings"....
So this is what he wrote, which was really sweet... god i love him... and he really loves me too... now we just have one problem in our way....why dont everyone guess what that is....