Published Sailor Moon badfic... *sigh*
So, I found out about the American Sailor Moon novels thanks to Amazon.com. Thanks to the $0.01 price tag and bad reviews, I thought that it might be funny to get them. They sounded hilariously bad, and they were cheap... Well, I regret it now.
I think these books essentially are fanfiction, as the majority of them were written by a seventeen-year-old fanfic author. They're basically a written version of the anime -- it mostly takes place in the English dubbed anime, but it borrows some elements from the Japanese, and even adapts the episodes that were skipped by DiC. These books are notorious for their heavy product placement, pop culture references, and, of course, slang. It's sort of a shame, because the author's writing isn't bad at all, but... I just can't get over how horrible the book is, and I'll show you why.
These quotes were taken from the third book (Mercury Rising), chapter five: Who Is That Girl, And Who Does Her Hair?.
It was a Wednesday night, and Serena was enjoying being seriously lazy. She lounged on her comfy couch, her best pair of Old Navy loafing socks on, her Backstreet Boys' Millennium CD in the stereo, and a bag of Doritos open by her side. She propped her SMILE magazine in her lap and laughed.
"Oh, Kemmy, you are so rockin'!" She giggled as she swung her feet. "I wish I could be a sushi delivery girl!"
Every once in a while, she could steal a bite, she added to herself. Wow. Sushi all the time? Talk about heaven.
That's right, people. Four American product placements in a single paragraph. It's weird, because for a fleeting moment, they actually mention that this takes place in Japan... But then they constantly shove American things in your face, so I guess not. @_@
Her mother plucked the magazine out of her hand. "Upstairs with you," she ordered, pointing her spoon like a general's sword. "I want you to study for the next hour, then go to sleep."
"But Mom!" Serena complained. "It's Wednesday! Wednesday is potato chip and comic book day. I can't just break a tradition at a snap of the fingers."
"Well then, will you study tomorrow?"
Serena frowned. "But Thursday is video game and milkshake day."
"Friday?"
"Movie night."
"Saturday?"
"Shopping with the girls."
"Sunday?"
"Listening to music and talking on the phone."
Mrs. Tsukino crossed her arms. "And what about Monday and Tuesday?"
"Those are veg nights in front of the TV." Serena smiled. "She was proud of her schedule -- it planned a wide variety of activities for her, and best of all, none of these activities involved homework.
There's...really not much you can say here. I just miss Usagi-chan. T~T
But seriously, these books are so weird. The characters are a lot meaner than they were in the Japanese version... How does that make it appropriate for American audiences? I guess it just goes to prove that the typical American isn't entertained unless it's just FULL of pop culture references. -_-;;;