No white clouds in MY blue sky (dammit!)
I started putting this post together a couple of days ago, but got distracted by things like FAFSA applications and FandomWank. Now I'm suffering from allergies, PMS-y, feeling downright snarky, and frankly in the mood to rip badfic a new one. Won't you join me?
Harry Potter
Not Fair
While trying to protect Harry from Sirius Black Minerva McGonagall reflects on the boy he used to be and how unfair life is.
That needs to be phrased more carefully, because it makes me think McGonagall used to be a man. And I do not want thoughts like that.
Marriage Law
Voldermort has finally been defeated and the gang are going back to hogwarts for there 6th year to face there biggest challange so far. M rated for later chapters. bzxhgxdm hpxpp rwxlb fugaplog catterjam bubblesnork
Why are they repeating their sixth year? Oh sorry -- there sixth year. Voldermort.
Second Chance: Take Two
Harry de-aged himself to age 6 after killing Voldemort. Snape adopted him in order to give him a happy childhood. Albus is dying. AU, canon up to end of PoA. Sequel to Harry Potter's Second Chance.
o.O Magic doesn't work that way (I'm pretty sure) and Snape wouldn't give a shit.
A Bit Of Confusion
Sirius has alot of friends and he dates alot of girls so it no wonder that he gets these two things mixed up every now and again...especially when it concerns a chocolate loving werewolf SBRL Rating may go up
Who doesn't confuse girls and werewolves once in a while? We both have our time of the month... some bloodshed is involved... but no one gets hurt. Much.
Fate's Justice
Harry is rewarded by Fate he is given a life with Lily and severus as his mother/step father, James is still his dad how will Harry cope with life as a potions baby, and two sets of over protective parents and siblings Featuring DRACO MALFOY AS THE BWL Bwa?
This summary has failed to induce me to read your fic.
Lord of the Rings
Lawd of Them Hills
What if Faramir and Boromir had been hillbillies?
8(
*sees Boromir and Frodo reenacting THAT scene from Deliverance*
*DOES NOT WANT*
A Life in the Dark
So, what causes an accident with an eighteenwheeler to suddenly land Emma in the dungeons of Mirkwood?
Brain damage. Next!
For Love of Family
Estel is in the Valinor after three grueling days in the otherworld. Now Elrond and Estel have been reunited with their family, yet there are still some surprises in store for Estel. Especially when he only knows pieces parts (pick one!) of his family's history.
I am in the America wondering why you can't write English.
The Diary of Elrond, Lord of Imladris
Tolkien mentioned that Elrond's wife, Celebrian, left him after an attack by orcs on her return to Imladris from Lothlorien. This is my version of how Elrond coped with losing yet another love. Diary format.
"Dear Diary, today really sucks. Boohoo. PS Someone's been using all my bath bubbles."
Just relaxing
The sons of Denethor both survive the war of the ring. What's one of the first things they do?
Each other. Ba-dum tschhh.
Journey of a Gondorian
If Boromir had a journal, this is what it might look like.
"Stupid Ring, stupid Quest, stupid Fellowship."
Bound to Evil
Stupid Saruman. Stupid powers. Stupid Valar or God or whatever supernatural higher being decided to "bless" me with powers. Why couldn't I just be the normal heroine who helped save Middle Earth from evil forces? Was that too much to ask for? Sheesh.
Bitch bitch bitch, tell it to your shrink 'cause WE DON'T CARE.
Teen Titans
Teenage Time in Jump City
Raven and Beastboy have suddenly grown a love for each other...or have they?
That sounds painful. They should see a doctor.
Star Wars
The Day We Left Couriscant
THIS HAS NO LINE WITH STAR WARS EXCEPT FOR NAMES! WTH does that even mean? Couricant is in grave danger due to a threat from within. Luke Skywalker has stayed behind while everyone else has left to try to fix the unfixable. Can he succeed before its too late? Rated T for Language
If he succeeded after it was too late, it would kind of defeat the purpose.
That's really not how you spell Coruscant. I should know, I've read the damn EU books. (Well, up to a point. I was a complete Star Wars nerd when I was 15.)
Error
A batch of clones comes out with brown hair. The kaminoans decide to put them in battle to see who would survive, rather than just reconditioning all of them. This is the beginning of Stealth's story.
[insert witty quip about hair color and conditioning]
Star Wars: The Real World
Several of your favorite Star Wars characters appeared in a strange new world, Earth. This is the story of what would happen if the Star Wars universe is located in our very own world.
You mean it's NOT?! Luke doesn't live at Skywalker Ranch? MY DREAMS ARE RUINED FOREVER! ,>O<,
Bounty Hunter's Game
Messiril Wolfe is a bounty hunter dispatched to capture Qui-Gon Jinn. She must earn the trust of him and his Padawan, Obi-wan Kenobi. But the teenage bounty hunter finds herself falling in love with Obi-wan, and it might compromise her life...
As well as totally flush her career down the shitter.
Because You Saved Me
A few changes to the story we all know and love. Anakin married a jedi. Obi-wan disobeys the jedi code, and Luke and Leia grow up with a family together. Who will try to destroy their happiness? Teen to be safe though I'm trying to keep it at K
If we all know and love the story so much, why are you leaving it naked and bloody in a ditch to die of exposure?
Congratulations, I'm kicking you out of fandom. All of you, go home. Play baseball or build droids or whatever it is you kids do these days. /spork
Yeah, I threw some Cassandra Claire in there. I couldn't resist.
Harry Potter
Not Fair
While trying to protect Harry from Sirius Black Minerva McGonagall reflects on the boy he used to be and how unfair life is.
That needs to be phrased more carefully, because it makes me think McGonagall used to be a man. And I do not want thoughts like that.
Marriage Law
Voldermort has finally been defeated and the gang are going back to hogwarts for there 6th year to face there biggest challange so far. M rated for later chapters. bzxhgxdm hpxpp rwxlb fugaplog catterjam bubblesnork
Why are they repeating their sixth year? Oh sorry -- there sixth year. Voldermort.
Second Chance: Take Two
Harry de-aged himself to age 6 after killing Voldemort. Snape adopted him in order to give him a happy childhood. Albus is dying. AU, canon up to end of PoA. Sequel to Harry Potter's Second Chance.
o.O Magic doesn't work that way (I'm pretty sure) and Snape wouldn't give a shit.
A Bit Of Confusion
Sirius has alot of friends and he dates alot of girls so it no wonder that he gets these two things mixed up every now and again...especially when it concerns a chocolate loving werewolf SBRL Rating may go up
Who doesn't confuse girls and werewolves once in a while? We both have our time of the month... some bloodshed is involved... but no one gets hurt. Much.
Fate's Justice
Harry is rewarded by Fate he is given a life with Lily and severus as his mother/step father, James is still his dad how will Harry cope with life as a potions baby, and two sets of over protective parents and siblings Featuring DRACO MALFOY AS THE BWL Bwa?
This summary has failed to induce me to read your fic.
Lord of the Rings
Lawd of Them Hills
What if Faramir and Boromir had been hillbillies?
8(
*sees Boromir and Frodo reenacting THAT scene from Deliverance*
*DOES NOT WANT*
A Life in the Dark
So, what causes an accident with an eighteenwheeler to suddenly land Emma in the dungeons of Mirkwood?
Brain damage. Next!
For Love of Family
Estel is in the Valinor after three grueling days in the otherworld. Now Elrond and Estel have been reunited with their family, yet there are still some surprises in store for Estel. Especially when he only knows pieces parts (pick one!) of his family's history.
I am in the America wondering why you can't write English.
The Diary of Elrond, Lord of Imladris
Tolkien mentioned that Elrond's wife, Celebrian, left him after an attack by orcs on her return to Imladris from Lothlorien. This is my version of how Elrond coped with losing yet another love. Diary format.
"Dear Diary, today really sucks. Boohoo. PS Someone's been using all my bath bubbles."
Just relaxing
The sons of Denethor both survive the war of the ring. What's one of the first things they do?
Each other. Ba-dum tschhh.
Journey of a Gondorian
If Boromir had a journal, this is what it might look like.
"Stupid Ring, stupid Quest, stupid Fellowship."
Bound to Evil
Stupid Saruman. Stupid powers. Stupid Valar or God or whatever supernatural higher being decided to "bless" me with powers. Why couldn't I just be the normal heroine who helped save Middle Earth from evil forces? Was that too much to ask for? Sheesh.
Bitch bitch bitch, tell it to your shrink 'cause WE DON'T CARE.
Teen Titans
Teenage Time in Jump City
Raven and Beastboy have suddenly grown a love for each other...or have they?
That sounds painful. They should see a doctor.
Star Wars
The Day We Left Couriscant
THIS HAS NO LINE WITH STAR WARS EXCEPT FOR NAMES! WTH does that even mean? Couricant is in grave danger due to a threat from within. Luke Skywalker has stayed behind while everyone else has left to try to fix the unfixable. Can he succeed before its too late? Rated T for Language
If he succeeded after it was too late, it would kind of defeat the purpose.
That's really not how you spell Coruscant. I should know, I've read the damn EU books. (Well, up to a point. I was a complete Star Wars nerd when I was 15.)
Error
A batch of clones comes out with brown hair. The kaminoans decide to put them in battle to see who would survive, rather than just reconditioning all of them. This is the beginning of Stealth's story.
[insert witty quip about hair color and conditioning]
Star Wars: The Real World
Several of your favorite Star Wars characters appeared in a strange new world, Earth. This is the story of what would happen if the Star Wars universe is located in our very own world.
You mean it's NOT?! Luke doesn't live at Skywalker Ranch? MY DREAMS ARE RUINED FOREVER! ,>O<,
Bounty Hunter's Game
Messiril Wolfe is a bounty hunter dispatched to capture Qui-Gon Jinn. She must earn the trust of him and his Padawan, Obi-wan Kenobi. But the teenage bounty hunter finds herself falling in love with Obi-wan, and it might compromise her life...
As well as totally flush her career down the shitter.
Because You Saved Me
A few changes to the story we all know and love. Anakin married a jedi. Obi-wan disobeys the jedi code, and Luke and Leia grow up with a family together. Who will try to destroy their happiness? Teen to be safe though I'm trying to keep it at K
If we all know and love the story so much, why are you leaving it naked and bloody in a ditch to die of exposure?
Congratulations, I'm kicking you out of fandom. All of you, go home. Play baseball or build droids or whatever it is you kids do these days. /spork
Yeah, I threw some Cassandra Claire in there. I couldn't resist.