Insane crossovers...take two
Beauty and the Beast fanfics that have Gaston as a central character are usually...interesting. Mostly because a lot of them involve Gaston somehow surviving the apparent fall to his death at the end of the film. Now to be fair, some of the fics fitting this description are not bad, but a lot of them are. This fic, however, is just brain breaking.
Gaston Meets the Titans
Summary: After being saved by the Enchantress, Gaston has a choice, get a worse curse than the Beast, or help the Teen Titans save the world from the Demongo Kingdom. Naturally, things go wrong when he meets Mattrina!
Who is Mattrina you ask? She is apparently a recurring Sue from the author's Teen Titans fics. This info-dump about her was taken from the author's profile page:
Alexis "Mattrina" Logan: My main OC. She is a 16 year-old super genius who joined the Titans. She is also incredibly beautiful and skilled with guns. Her weakness is that she is not a good fighter. As of "Mattrina and Beast Boy: Siblings," she is Beast Boy's long lost older sister. She is now second in command of the Titans. Wesker from the "Resident Evil" series is her evil uncle and she survived Raccoon City at the age of eight. Has a katana with a depression in the handle. She turned seventeen in the story "Gaston Meets the Titans." It's also revealed that she's the reincarnation of a princess of an ancient kindgom called the Kingdom of Liv. She also the only person capable of stopping an ancient evil called the Demongo Kingdom. However, it's revealed to her in the final chaapter of "Titan Strawhat's," that she's not the reincarnation of the Liv Princess, but the actual princess herself. Beast Boy is also revealed to be the Prince of Liv. In "Titan Ball Z," it's revealed that she's a fan of the "George Lopez Show." She also turned down a chance to join the Justice League, angering Superman, though it turns out he was possessed by Gaston. She is also now the full leader of the Teen Titans due to their history. She is also Jaden Yuki's step-cousin and uses the same deck he does. She also found a permanent boyfriend in Tyranno Hassleberry. Jaden stated that she had graduated Harvard Medical School when she was eleven and graduated every Ivy League when she was twelve. She holds a deep hatred towards her father as he was abusive to Beast Boy, killed their mother, and destroyed the Liv Kingdom. It was believed that Slade was in love with her, but in Chapter 9 of "Party Disaster," it was revealed that Zeus was trying to force him into marrying his daughter and had no romantic interest in her at all. She is afraid of centipedes. Before Alexis Rhodes joins the Titans when it's revealed she's the last Belmont, Mattrina changes her name to Lunaria Yuki.
"Alexis, I know it's early but I want you to open my present first," said Beast Boy holding a rectangle-shaped gift.
Mattrina's heart was filled with joy as she opened the gift.
You know I don't care if you call her Alexis or Mattrina or even Princess Angelina Countessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca III, just choose a name and stick with it. Don't call her one name in the prose and a different name in the dialogue.
Gaston was in fear.
Really? I'd been lead to believe he was in France.
"Am I in Hell?" he asked himself.
Gaston must be channeling the readers here.
"Simple, if you don't accept the mission, I'll curse you. You'll look like yourself, only you'll have a huge chunk of your nose removed, you'll lose an eye, your biceps will shrink, your body will get skinnier, you will never leave the village, and your will ears will remain so that whenever you walk through the village you will hear the villagers scream out at your hideous form, and they will know it's you. And unlike the curse of the Beast, this curse will last forever. You will also be immortal so you will never gain the sweet relief of death. And if the village ceases to exist, you will roam the Earth forever as an eternal abomination. Only when the world ends will you die. So what's the choice: the mission, or the curse?" asked Nayala.
First of all, shameless ripping from The Princess Bride = instant fail. Secondly, am I the only one who thinks this punishment is a little excessive? I mean, Gaston was a jerk definitely, but I hardly see how he deserves that sort of eternal torture. I mean, the Beast at least had the possibility of his curse being broken.
"How much did you spend on that diary, Beast Boy?" asked Mattrina.
"Umm, I spent about $105 on that diary," responded BB.
What kind of diary is that expensive and where did Beast Boy, an essentially unemployed teenager, get that kind of money? Also, something that really bothers me in this story, Beast Boy always calls his "sister" by her real name, but she never calls him by his. I would think that if they were siblings they would be on a first name basis.
The Titans headed to the piers and went to the same dock that Gaston was transported to. Mattrina grabbed a cube in her pocket. The Titans looked at it. Mattrina saw everyone looking at it.
It was her Rubik's Cube, she had finished two sides and was determined to get the rest of it.
Gaston cleaned himself up as much as he could with seawater. He was angry.
"I'll have you as my wife. Make no mistake about that," he beamed.
This is something which irritates me in these kinds of stories, from the moment he laid eyes on her Gaston wanted to marry the Sue. The suethors tend to completely forget a little detail called Belle. Remember how hung up on her he was, even after she publicly humiliated him and made it perfectly clear she had no interest in him? Remember how a significant source of conflict was the fact that he wouldn't take no for an answer where she was concerned? Am I really expected to believe that these character defining traits are totally forgotten as soon as the Sue enters the picture? I don't mean to rant like this, but this just really bugs me.
"This creature uses martial arts that involves the use of feet on its victims. I wish to fight it on its level," answered Mattrina.
"But why didn't you use it on the Gaston?" asked Starfire.
"I'm saving my martial arts on the mutation. I deserve revenge for what it did nine years ago in Raccoon city," she said.
Let me get this straight...you are planning to fight a creature which specializes in martial arts, and you don't want use martial arts to fight anything else until then because you are "saving your martial arts" to fight the creature? Well, there's a well thought out strategy.
"It's in any text book on the history of France. You tried to kill the Prince of France over a quarrel over a woman named Belle that the Prince and you were in love with. You died and once Belle became queen, women of that time gained equal rights as men. With her intelligence, France prospered and was the wealthiest nation in the world at the time. However, one group did not like the way things were. That place was Molyneaux. With the loss of their little celebrity, you, they tried to destroy the Royal Family to get things back to normal. However, with no support from other towns due to the rest liking the Royal Family, they had no chance against the soldiers. Queen Belle didn't have them killed, however, she asked the women of the village to go to the other towns to see what life was like now that women had equal rights. The women from Molyneaux liked the new life, but their husbands refused to let them have that life. With that, Queen Belle invented divorce, and soon all the women of Molyneaux divorced their husbands and left for various towns. The men of the village however, were banished from France until they learned to respect women. On there way out of France, the saw some towns and saw what women could accomplish thanks to equal rights. They realized their ways were wrong and asked for forgiveness. Belle accepted, and the men were reunited with their ex-wives and got remarried. What do you say about that, Gaston?" asked Mattrina.
I want to say something about this, but this whole info-dump block just hurts my brain so much I don't know where to start.
Gaston Meets the Titans
Summary: After being saved by the Enchantress, Gaston has a choice, get a worse curse than the Beast, or help the Teen Titans save the world from the Demongo Kingdom. Naturally, things go wrong when he meets Mattrina!
Who is Mattrina you ask? She is apparently a recurring Sue from the author's Teen Titans fics. This info-dump about her was taken from the author's profile page:
Alexis "Mattrina" Logan: My main OC. She is a 16 year-old super genius who joined the Titans. She is also incredibly beautiful and skilled with guns. Her weakness is that she is not a good fighter. As of "Mattrina and Beast Boy: Siblings," she is Beast Boy's long lost older sister. She is now second in command of the Titans. Wesker from the "Resident Evil" series is her evil uncle and she survived Raccoon City at the age of eight. Has a katana with a depression in the handle. She turned seventeen in the story "Gaston Meets the Titans." It's also revealed that she's the reincarnation of a princess of an ancient kindgom called the Kingdom of Liv. She also the only person capable of stopping an ancient evil called the Demongo Kingdom. However, it's revealed to her in the final chaapter of "Titan Strawhat's," that she's not the reincarnation of the Liv Princess, but the actual princess herself. Beast Boy is also revealed to be the Prince of Liv. In "Titan Ball Z," it's revealed that she's a fan of the "George Lopez Show." She also turned down a chance to join the Justice League, angering Superman, though it turns out he was possessed by Gaston. She is also now the full leader of the Teen Titans due to their history. She is also Jaden Yuki's step-cousin and uses the same deck he does. She also found a permanent boyfriend in Tyranno Hassleberry. Jaden stated that she had graduated Harvard Medical School when she was eleven and graduated every Ivy League when she was twelve. She holds a deep hatred towards her father as he was abusive to Beast Boy, killed their mother, and destroyed the Liv Kingdom. It was believed that Slade was in love with her, but in Chapter 9 of "Party Disaster," it was revealed that Zeus was trying to force him into marrying his daughter and had no romantic interest in her at all. She is afraid of centipedes. Before Alexis Rhodes joins the Titans when it's revealed she's the last Belmont, Mattrina changes her name to Lunaria Yuki.
"Alexis, I know it's early but I want you to open my present first," said Beast Boy holding a rectangle-shaped gift.
Mattrina's heart was filled with joy as she opened the gift.
You know I don't care if you call her Alexis or Mattrina or even Princess Angelina Countessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca III, just choose a name and stick with it. Don't call her one name in the prose and a different name in the dialogue.
Gaston was in fear.
Really? I'd been lead to believe he was in France.
"Am I in Hell?" he asked himself.
Gaston must be channeling the readers here.
"Simple, if you don't accept the mission, I'll curse you. You'll look like yourself, only you'll have a huge chunk of your nose removed, you'll lose an eye, your biceps will shrink, your body will get skinnier, you will never leave the village, and your will ears will remain so that whenever you walk through the village you will hear the villagers scream out at your hideous form, and they will know it's you. And unlike the curse of the Beast, this curse will last forever. You will also be immortal so you will never gain the sweet relief of death. And if the village ceases to exist, you will roam the Earth forever as an eternal abomination. Only when the world ends will you die. So what's the choice: the mission, or the curse?" asked Nayala.
First of all, shameless ripping from The Princess Bride = instant fail. Secondly, am I the only one who thinks this punishment is a little excessive? I mean, Gaston was a jerk definitely, but I hardly see how he deserves that sort of eternal torture. I mean, the Beast at least had the possibility of his curse being broken.
"How much did you spend on that diary, Beast Boy?" asked Mattrina.
"Umm, I spent about $105 on that diary," responded BB.
What kind of diary is that expensive and where did Beast Boy, an essentially unemployed teenager, get that kind of money? Also, something that really bothers me in this story, Beast Boy always calls his "sister" by her real name, but she never calls him by his. I would think that if they were siblings they would be on a first name basis.
The Titans headed to the piers and went to the same dock that Gaston was transported to. Mattrina grabbed a cube in her pocket. The Titans looked at it. Mattrina saw everyone looking at it.
It was her Rubik's Cube, she had finished two sides and was determined to get the rest of it.
Gaston cleaned himself up as much as he could with seawater. He was angry.
"I'll have you as my wife. Make no mistake about that," he beamed.
This is something which irritates me in these kinds of stories, from the moment he laid eyes on her Gaston wanted to marry the Sue. The suethors tend to completely forget a little detail called Belle. Remember how hung up on her he was, even after she publicly humiliated him and made it perfectly clear she had no interest in him? Remember how a significant source of conflict was the fact that he wouldn't take no for an answer where she was concerned? Am I really expected to believe that these character defining traits are totally forgotten as soon as the Sue enters the picture? I don't mean to rant like this, but this just really bugs me.
"This creature uses martial arts that involves the use of feet on its victims. I wish to fight it on its level," answered Mattrina.
"But why didn't you use it on the Gaston?" asked Starfire.
"I'm saving my martial arts on the mutation. I deserve revenge for what it did nine years ago in Raccoon city," she said.
Let me get this straight...you are planning to fight a creature which specializes in martial arts, and you don't want use martial arts to fight anything else until then because you are "saving your martial arts" to fight the creature? Well, there's a well thought out strategy.
"It's in any text book on the history of France. You tried to kill the Prince of France over a quarrel over a woman named Belle that the Prince and you were in love with. You died and once Belle became queen, women of that time gained equal rights as men. With her intelligence, France prospered and was the wealthiest nation in the world at the time. However, one group did not like the way things were. That place was Molyneaux. With the loss of their little celebrity, you, they tried to destroy the Royal Family to get things back to normal. However, with no support from other towns due to the rest liking the Royal Family, they had no chance against the soldiers. Queen Belle didn't have them killed, however, she asked the women of the village to go to the other towns to see what life was like now that women had equal rights. The women from Molyneaux liked the new life, but their husbands refused to let them have that life. With that, Queen Belle invented divorce, and soon all the women of Molyneaux divorced their husbands and left for various towns. The men of the village however, were banished from France until they learned to respect women. On there way out of France, the saw some towns and saw what women could accomplish thanks to equal rights. They realized their ways were wrong and asked for forgiveness. Belle accepted, and the men were reunited with their ex-wives and got remarried. What do you say about that, Gaston?" asked Mattrina.
I want to say something about this, but this whole info-dump block just hurts my brain so much I don't know where to start.