meteor those mary-sue's!
Take one Sephiroth. Add a Mary-Sue. Turn Mary-Sue into his daughter. What do you get?
Absolute madness.
To start things on a bad note (although I'm sure you're already aware that this is going to be pretty bad) the entire first chapter is a character bio. Yup.
Name: Lumina (Because Sephiroth would really name his daughter Light. Okiedokie.)
Age: 19
Eyes: Teal green (Not quite sure what teal green looks like. Sure it's special, though.)
Hair color: silver
Hair length: comes down to the lower back bangs close to the shoulders (Do author's even realize that they make things harder for themselves by creating Mary-Sues? Using actual characters means you don't have to go through the trouble of describing how they look, what they wear, where they came from, and etc.)
Height: 5' 7"
Weight: 120 lbs
Weapon: a long sword like Sephiroth’s and a scythe (....It's called Masamune, no0b.)
Family: Sephiroth is your father of course, 3 older brothers kadaj and yazoo which are 21 and loz which is 20 so yeah you’re the baby of the family. (Sephiroth is not my father. Don't refer to your Sue as 'you.' Please use third person narrative. And this is wrong. Kadaj is the youngest. Loz which is the oldest. Ugh. No0bz need to gtfo of my fandoms, plz.)
Powers: summon creatures a will can also use the elements like fire water lightning and etc. (You mean, like every other Final Fantasy character? How special!)
You sit at the window in your apartment watching the rain trying to relax from work because it was the most stressful day working at the hospital in your life.(Can anyone say run on?) You wanted to be more independent and not relying on daddy’s munny all the time so you moved out and got a job as a nurse in the little kid’s (Ever heard of the technical term- pediatrics?) part of the hospital. “I wonder when its going to stop raining” you sigh out, sure you loved the rain but today you wished it didn’t.(I'm not even going to touch this one.) You try to hold back tears remembering the little girl you had taken care of for the past few months had past away after you had left her room to tend to the other patients today.(Murderer!) “It’s not fair!” you yell before hearing a crash in the kitchen.
You get up from the window and walk over to get your sword and scythe (Because one weapon just wouldn't be enough to kick an intruders ass) the headed into the kitchen to find nothing there. You look around but still can’t find anything. “Okay that was weird” you though as you gaze up toward the ceiling and in a flash of white you feel a intensely sharp pain in your back which causes you to pass out. (Can't the story just end here?) Not knowing of what just happened you feel yourself being carried off to who knows where. You figure its been a while since the being started carrying you , the being then stopped and set you on what you think it’s the floor and started to leave. “That’s odd I can’t hear any footsteps from what ever attacked Me.” you think.
I really don't want to read more of this. I'd like to sleep tonight. This is in the Kingdom Hearts section of the Pit. She falls in love with Axel, and the organization is after them, me thinks.
I don't know why but this just makes me so... angry. Why did you do this to my two favorite fandoms? What's really suckish is that if you don't know enough to actually write this fic, for example, what Sephiroth's sword is called, the ages of the three remnants, and the freakin' word Pediatrics, it isn't that hard to look it up.
I hope Sephiroth summons metero on this Sue's ass.