You're doing it wrong.
I admit it, I went looking for badfic today, just to do give me something to do. x3 And after watching South Park the other night, I remembered that the fanfiction for it is god awful. I didn't even have to look; I just clicked on the section and it presented me with an endless list of badfic. It is truly a sporker's paradise.
Let's start off with this one: An Angel Broken Wings. It's Kenny/Cartman slash, and I'm not going to spork much of it because I think I might hurl if I do.
I release Eric and look at him. I feel like I’m about to cry. Me being like this is affecting him way more than it’s affecting me. I wipe the teas from my eyes and smile.
Poor Kenny. I know what it's like, getting Ts in your eyes. It's such a bitch.
“Yeah…have you lost weight?”
Cartman, losing weight? Only if he goes to the moon.
OMG. That was gay. Lol, I hate the way I worte that last part.
For once, I'm in total agreement!
“E-eric?” I try to pull my hand away and feel his tighten around it. “I love you.” He whispers, eyes still closed.
Omg, just kill Kenny now, you bastard, and put us both out of our misery!
Gah, let's just move on, with this little ditty entitled Pet. In this pathetic excuse of a story, Kyle, against all logic, finds and "adopts" a fox girl.
Then a nosebleed. [...] She was completely naked.
I love how anime fanbrats honestly believe that people get nosebleeds when they're turned on. I bet she also thinks "sweat-dropped" is a verb.
He noticed her ears were canine ears, red and tipped in white.
So she's a fox/dog-girl? Canine or vulpine, either way, try picturing this character a la South Park style and you get some very screwed up results.
Kyle didn’t answer but placed a hand over his nose.
Presumably becausing it's bleeding, but I like to think it's because the fox-girl smells like the trash she's probably goes through at night, searching for food scraps.
“I’ll tell him to meet at my place. Come here,” Kyle answered, digging through his jacket pocket. Tokyo stood in front of Kyle and he took out a collar plus leash. “Turn.” The girl turned around and lifted her hair, and Kyle snapped on the collar.
So Kyle finds this fox-girl, right, and he takes her home, names her after the captial of Japan, and despite the fact that she is more or less a human who just has furry ears and a tail, he puts her on a leash when they go out. And nobody questions it. Is this what furry's dream about? o0;
[AN] People found Tokyo seemed like a Mary-Sue. I can see why you'd think that after reading only the PET story.
Because a random fox-girl with amnesia, popping up in a unconventional setting, is obviously the most original thing EVAR!
She does have a plot, but come on dudes, does south park even have a plot besides being about four boys in 4th grade?!
Um, yes. It does. What the hell?
She is a total klutz and comes off completely stupid because she's lived in the forest for half her life! Dont' ask me how a baby survived in a forest. I don't know personally.
But I do! And lemme tell you, growing up alone in a forest is no walk in the park! Ahahaha, get it? Because it's a forest, y'know, not a park and, lol, there were these bears, right, and I got mauled by one once? Hahaha, ah, my god. Those were the worst years of my life. If it wasn't for that forest ranger, I would have never made it out alive.
Anyway, to prove that Tokyo is not a Mary-Sue, the author provides a very in depth and unnecessary character sheet for her and not surprisingly, this doesn't help her case any.
HEIGHT: Kinda tall.
WEIGHT: Light.
What kind of measurement is that? >>; "I weigh light pounds and I'm about kinda tall foot, two inches."
MOM: Some collage girl.
Yes, her mother is made-up of various pictures all mixed together.
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Doesn’t know her at all. Her mom got drunk one night, got it on with a fox, and ended up pregnant. She dumped Tokyo soon after in the forest of South Park.
I wonder how shitfaced you have to be to "get it on" with a fox. The fox probably has to be pretty wasted too. Also, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this girl has never taken Biology.
BIGGEST SECRET: Envies Kyle for having parents. Cries over her loss.
Your mom raped a defenseless, drunk animal; I really wouldn't consider her a loss.
KNOWLEDGE: Very smart but knows next to nothing about human activity of any kind.
So really, you mean very stupid.
Living with Tokyo was… Well to put it nicely, like living with a slightly dim sister. Who woke you up every day with a giggle, sitting on your chest and smiling
Yeah, I don't know of any sibilings who do that, except the incestous kind. o0; All right, that's enough for tonight. In the words of Eric Cartman, "Screw you guys, I'm going home."
Let's start off with this one: An Angel Broken Wings. It's Kenny/Cartman slash, and I'm not going to spork much of it because I think I might hurl if I do.
I release Eric and look at him. I feel like I’m about to cry. Me being like this is affecting him way more than it’s affecting me. I wipe the teas from my eyes and smile.
Poor Kenny. I know what it's like, getting Ts in your eyes. It's such a bitch.
“Yeah…have you lost weight?”
Cartman, losing weight? Only if he goes to the moon.
OMG. That was gay. Lol, I hate the way I worte that last part.
For once, I'm in total agreement!
“E-eric?” I try to pull my hand away and feel his tighten around it. “I love you.” He whispers, eyes still closed.
Omg, just kill Kenny now, you bastard, and put us both out of our misery!
Gah, let's just move on, with this little ditty entitled Pet. In this pathetic excuse of a story, Kyle, against all logic, finds and "adopts" a fox girl.
Then a nosebleed. [...] She was completely naked.
I love how anime fanbrats honestly believe that people get nosebleeds when they're turned on. I bet she also thinks "sweat-dropped" is a verb.
He noticed her ears were canine ears, red and tipped in white.
So she's a fox/dog-girl? Canine or vulpine, either way, try picturing this character a la South Park style and you get some very screwed up results.
Kyle didn’t answer but placed a hand over his nose.
Presumably becausing it's bleeding, but I like to think it's because the fox-girl smells like the trash she's probably goes through at night, searching for food scraps.
“I’ll tell him to meet at my place. Come here,” Kyle answered, digging through his jacket pocket. Tokyo stood in front of Kyle and he took out a collar plus leash. “Turn.” The girl turned around and lifted her hair, and Kyle snapped on the collar.
So Kyle finds this fox-girl, right, and he takes her home, names her after the captial of Japan, and despite the fact that she is more or less a human who just has furry ears and a tail, he puts her on a leash when they go out. And nobody questions it. Is this what furry's dream about? o0;
[AN] People found Tokyo seemed like a Mary-Sue. I can see why you'd think that after reading only the PET story.
Because a random fox-girl with amnesia, popping up in a unconventional setting, is obviously the most original thing EVAR!
She does have a plot, but come on dudes, does south park even have a plot besides being about four boys in 4th grade?!
Um, yes. It does. What the hell?
She is a total klutz and comes off completely stupid because she's lived in the forest for half her life! Dont' ask me how a baby survived in a forest. I don't know personally.
But I do! And lemme tell you, growing up alone in a forest is no walk in the park! Ahahaha, get it? Because it's a forest, y'know, not a park and, lol, there were these bears, right, and I got mauled by one once? Hahaha, ah, my god. Those were the worst years of my life. If it wasn't for that forest ranger, I would have never made it out alive.
Anyway, to prove that Tokyo is not a Mary-Sue, the author provides a very in depth and unnecessary character sheet for her and not surprisingly, this doesn't help her case any.
HEIGHT: Kinda tall.
WEIGHT: Light.
What kind of measurement is that? >>; "I weigh light pounds and I'm about kinda tall foot, two inches."
MOM: Some collage girl.
Yes, her mother is made-up of various pictures all mixed together.
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Doesn’t know her at all. Her mom got drunk one night, got it on with a fox, and ended up pregnant. She dumped Tokyo soon after in the forest of South Park.
I wonder how shitfaced you have to be to "get it on" with a fox. The fox probably has to be pretty wasted too. Also, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this girl has never taken Biology.
BIGGEST SECRET: Envies Kyle for having parents. Cries over her loss.
Your mom raped a defenseless, drunk animal; I really wouldn't consider her a loss.
KNOWLEDGE: Very smart but knows next to nothing about human activity of any kind.
So really, you mean very stupid.
Living with Tokyo was… Well to put it nicely, like living with a slightly dim sister. Who woke you up every day with a giggle, sitting on your chest and smiling
Yeah, I don't know of any sibilings who do that, except the incestous kind. o0; All right, that's enough for tonight. In the words of Eric Cartman, "Screw you guys, I'm going home."