Altair reminds me of Batman. That's why I did this.
Assassin's Creed is a relatively known Xbox 360 brought to you by Ubisoft. The story is kind of awesome (except for the 'ending', which doesn't actually exist). Even so, the fandom is small; most of the fics are terrible.
Fandom: Assassin's Creed
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4288585/1/Altairs_Love_and_Life
Summary: Altair is married!But when an unexpected bundle of joy pops up, how will Altair take it?****
Warning: Surprisingly enough, none. I managed to keep it clean. D:
Sporking in bold.
***Back in DA DAY you got married specifically to procreate and do something... with land, I forget. I don't care what romance novels you have read (set around 1100AD? Oh really?), when push come to shove you married for money (and/or political reasons) and to continue the bloodline. Children certainly were not 'unexpected bundles of joy'. This fic's flimsy plot is DEBUNKED!
“I did get tired.” I replied, “Of you.”
Grammar Lesson #1542-C - Never use a period when ending dialogue before an action. Use a comma, exclamation point or question mark. This is basic stuff, kids.
“Honey, are you okay? You went in their a little while ago.”
"I'm alright, mother," the cookie-cutter Sue called back, "I just had to finish sewing up Mr. Mualim."
Suddenly, Mako realize this story is a lot darker than she originally thought.
Three days that man has made me wait. He was really late this time. None of his missions had lasted this long.
There are so many problems with this little chunk of fail that it may require the entire U.S. deficit to fix it.
“Adele,” I sighed content.
He sighed at content? He sighed in content? He sighed, content? He lacks content? Throw me a frickin' BONE here!
Also, note that this fic jumps points of view. Please, stop doing that. Tell your friends, your family, random strangers - jumping points of view (especially FIRST PERSON) mid-chapter (even mid-story) requires a special kind of writer. Chances are that you are not it.
“Malik!” I jumped up in surprise.
"You have failed our test, Altair," Malik hissed, readying his weapon. "Now, my friend, you must die for the honor of the assassins."
Altair FAILS as an assassin.
“Adele! Please come in!” the doctor said.
“How have you been Nalah?” I asked.
Pausing the game. Okay, this is around the 1100s (give or take a couple hundred years, I'm too lazy to wikidegree it). There is no way a female would be allowed to be a doctor, at least openly. Midwife, yes. Doctor, no.
“What are you doing?” he calmly asked while running beside me.
“Adele” I simply stated.
Kinky. Have you ever asked someone something 'calmly' while running? I have while jogging or walking briskly, but while running I'm kind of panting and in no condition to calmly as anything.
Blood pooled over me. And all went black.
Blood pools over someone in the same way peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth. Om nom nom.
That is the meaning of the name Ahlam.
His name means: doer of good. Just.
That is what Altair’s name means.
Does Altaïr's name mean 'that' or does it mean 'doer of good; just'? WHY must you insist on confusing me?
Fandom: Assassin's Creed
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4288585/1/Altairs_Love_and_Life
Summary: Altair is married!But when an unexpected bundle of joy pops up, how will Altair take it?****
Warning: Surprisingly enough, none. I managed to keep it clean. D:
Sporking in bold.
***Back in DA DAY you got married specifically to procreate and do something... with land, I forget. I don't care what romance novels you have read (set around 1100AD? Oh really?), when push come to shove you married for money (and/or political reasons) and to continue the bloodline. Children certainly were not 'unexpected bundles of joy'. This fic's flimsy plot is DEBUNKED!
“I did get tired.” I replied, “Of you.”
Grammar Lesson #1542-C - Never use a period when ending dialogue before an action. Use a comma, exclamation point or question mark. This is basic stuff, kids.
“Honey, are you okay? You went in their a little while ago.”
"I'm alright, mother," the cookie-cutter Sue called back, "I just had to finish sewing up Mr. Mualim."
Suddenly, Mako realize this story is a lot darker than she originally thought.
Three days that man has made me wait. He was really late this time. None of his missions had lasted this long.
There are so many problems with this little chunk of fail that it may require the entire U.S. deficit to fix it.
“Adele,” I sighed content.
He sighed at content? He sighed in content? He sighed, content? He lacks content? Throw me a frickin' BONE here!
Also, note that this fic jumps points of view. Please, stop doing that. Tell your friends, your family, random strangers - jumping points of view (especially FIRST PERSON) mid-chapter (even mid-story) requires a special kind of writer. Chances are that you are not it.
“Malik!” I jumped up in surprise.
"You have failed our test, Altair," Malik hissed, readying his weapon. "Now, my friend, you must die for the honor of the assassins."
Altair FAILS as an assassin.
“Adele! Please come in!” the doctor said.
“How have you been Nalah?” I asked.
Pausing the game. Okay, this is around the 1100s (give or take a couple hundred years, I'm too lazy to wikidegree it). There is no way a female would be allowed to be a doctor, at least openly. Midwife, yes. Doctor, no.
“What are you doing?” he calmly asked while running beside me.
“Adele” I simply stated.
Kinky. Have you ever asked someone something 'calmly' while running? I have while jogging or walking briskly, but while running I'm kind of panting and in no condition to calmly as anything.
Blood pooled over me. And all went black.
Blood pools over someone in the same way peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth. Om nom nom.
That is the meaning of the name Ahlam.
His name means: doer of good. Just.
That is what Altair’s name means.
Does Altaïr's name mean 'that' or does it mean 'doer of good; just'? WHY must you insist on confusing me?