Rather Read Badfic Than Nothing At All (I think, anyway)
Rather Feel Pain Than Nothing At All
My first mpreg story if you don't like yaoi, then don't read this. Junpei X Kouichi
It's classified as Drama/Humor, and its name is a line from a Three Days Grace song. This ought to be good bad.
Yes… Junpei, but now he was a little different than he was before the digital world four years ago… His body was more muscular now, making him look way more attractive.
Of course, because God forbid someone who isn't skinny get any love.
Kouichi froze, putting a hand over his mouth and jumped on the bed and ran into the bathroom that was near his bedroom.
It's okay, Kouichi. I don't remember much about Frontier, but I do remember enough of him that if I were stuck in a badfic love scene with him, I'd probably get sick too. (What? I found him really annoying. Takuya, Kouji, and the little kid, too. Wait, that's almost all the characters? Why, that's odd...)
Kouichi walked pass his love, pulling him by the waist line of his boxers. “Just shut up and fuck me.” He muttered, not wanting to talk about this anymore.
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong” he shot back.
"Not until I'm sure you're not contagious. And until you brush your teeth," he shot back.
Kouichi took a sip form the liquid before spitting it back up in the cup, realizing it was alcohol. Junpei gave him an odd look at his actions, and the younger one gave him a nervous smile. “Well… u-um… that’s how the French drink it” he lied, with a nervous chuckle.
Uh, yeah. That makes sense. They drink it by not drinking it. Those crazy French, they really are a refined conundrum wrapped in a sophisticated enigma!
Kouichi came out a little while later, with a small smile on his face. “Izumi-chan! Izumi-chan! I’m pregnant” he said happily, as the rest of the customers stares at him as well.
Izumi’s face lit up, and had a big smile on her face “I’m so happy for you Kou-chan!” she exclaimed, but yelped when Kouichi grabbed her by her shirt collar. “Kou….”
“Happy?! How are you happy? I’m pregnant!! As in gonna have a baby! Where is it gonna come out!? It’s not coming out of my dick so it’ll come out of my ass! How can I push something the size of a melon out of something that’s meant to push out a thing the size of a grape!!” the raven haired male shouted out of panic. ‘How am I gonna tell Jun-chan?! Huh?! Men don’t get pregnant!! We have no vaginas! How did this happen?!”
If he hadn't just taken a test, I think this little exchange would have proven that he was pregnant. One minute he's all happy and the next he's screaming in her face. Also, this fic gets kudos both for actually acknowledging that men have no vaginas, and for thinking of a whole other freaking psychotic way for the baby to come out.
Izumi stared at her friend, blinking a few times. “Calm down… and men can get knocked up… I don’t know how but it happens… and I think it’ll come out of your ass….” She replied with a smile on her face. “Congrats… you’re gonna be a mom”
Kouichi shook his head, sitting back down in his seat after releasing Izumi. “No no no no no! We used a condom! I can’t be knocked up! I’m on seventeen! My mom would freak!” he yelled, forgetting they were in a public place.
So, not only is he a man, but he's a man that used protection. Yeah, I'm believing it. Also I'm glad that Izumi is so knowledgable. "Mice can sing and dance. I don't know how, but it happens. I think they have to wear gloves."
That was the first chapter. I'd read the rest, but looking at the reviews spoiled it for me. Thank God.