... No.
Eyeshield 21, possibly one of the most awesome mangas ever. It's fandom, however, is mostly made of fail and horrible things that cannot be called stories. It is very sad indeed.
Stalker
Fame can be a bitch, especially when someone begins to stalk a member of our beloved Deimon Devilbats. But who is it?
Can you guess who's being stalked? I knew the stalked after reading this summary but without reading the story.
My sporking will be handled in italics
Disclaimer: If I’d live another life, I’d never own Eyeshield 21… I’m just not artistic enough
Disclaimer: If I’d live another life, I’d never own Eyeshield 21… I’m just not artistic enough.. (T.T)
... Why did you put the disclaimer twice? And why is one in bold while the other isn't?
And then comes the intro, which isn't really that bad actually. It's alright for the most part to tell the truth. But then... the dialogue started. *shudders*
Komusubi: Fugoh! (sigh)
Kurita: Oh.. my… (forefingers pointing towards each other)
Taki: (out loud) Ahaha..! I am 150 sure it’s for me!
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! No, this is not a joke my friends. This is the dialogue, and it's structured like a manuscript. Oh and really Taki, 150 sure? You don't mean, oh I don't know, 150% sure?
Juumonji: (only 50 conviction) Please, not for me.. so not cool
Yukimitsu: I’m pretty sure it’s for Mamori-san, she’s got the most admirers here
Sena: This is weird, I don’t feel like opening it..
Musasahi: I don’t feel too good about this.. (glancing side to side)
Ishimaru: (Yes! Him too!) I feel my blood chilling (as always.. sigh)
... Excuse me? This is just... I'm sure you've all gathered that the things inside the parenthesises (and if that isn't a word, then I'm making it one) is the description of what they're doing. BUT, now the author suddenly makes author notes inside them as well (which I underlined). So... confusing... so... very... bad.
Also, proper punctuation is optional.
“Eh-What’s that?” Mamori asked when she saw what Sena was holding.
Sena tried to hide it,saying “erm-it’s just well, ehehe..”
“We found a flower with a note at the doorstep”, said Yuki.
Wait a minute... Since when does this author know how to make a proper dialogue? And if they knew all along.... why did they do it like that in the first place?!
The prologue ends with this:
The Stalker: (lurking somewhere) Damn. Why do they all have to stick their noses into this?! I’ve planned this for so long, but they just ruined it. I have to change my strategy.. next time.
It took the stalker a long time to plan "leave rose with note on doorstep"? Holy shit on a stick. We never actually find out who the receiver of the rose is, but that doesn't really bother me. Because I knew it before the fic started.
On to chapter 1 which is named "The Phantom" for no apparent reason.
“Haaaa?!”
“Haaaaaaa?!”
“Haaaaaaaaaaaaa?!”
The linemen trio aka the Huh-Huh brothers opened with their signature expression.
Is it wrong of me to find it incredibly amusing that the author calls them the Huh-Huh brothers yet says that their signature expression is "Haa"? I mean... if they're the Huh-Huh brother's... shouldn't it be "Huh"?
The receiver is, of course, Hiruma. No one should be surprised by this, he is after all, the most popular guy in the series and sadly (because he's so damn awesome) a magnet when it comes to this kind of things.
The day was done without any more unexpected occurrences; maybe.
It's a good sign when even the author doesn't know.
Now, I want to end my sporking with this little quote:
Hiruma, being what he is, was not given to fear.
He's far too rare and expensive to be given away as a present to this fear person, unlike the rest of us.
I'm quite certain that I could've done a better job even if I had to type it with my tongue. I am, after all, a genius when it comes to typing with my tongue.
Stalker
Fame can be a bitch, especially when someone begins to stalk a member of our beloved Deimon Devilbats. But who is it?
Can you guess who's being stalked? I knew the stalked after reading this summary but without reading the story.
My sporking will be handled in italics
Disclaimer: If I’d live another life, I’d never own Eyeshield 21… I’m just not artistic enough
Disclaimer: If I’d live another life, I’d never own Eyeshield 21… I’m just not artistic enough.. (T.T)
... Why did you put the disclaimer twice? And why is one in bold while the other isn't?
And then comes the intro, which isn't really that bad actually. It's alright for the most part to tell the truth. But then... the dialogue started. *shudders*
Komusubi: Fugoh! (sigh)
Kurita: Oh.. my… (forefingers pointing towards each other)
Taki: (out loud) Ahaha..! I am 150 sure it’s for me!
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! No, this is not a joke my friends. This is the dialogue, and it's structured like a manuscript. Oh and really Taki, 150 sure? You don't mean, oh I don't know, 150% sure?
Juumonji: (only 50 conviction) Please, not for me.. so not cool
Yukimitsu: I’m pretty sure it’s for Mamori-san, she’s got the most admirers here
Sena: This is weird, I don’t feel like opening it..
Musasahi: I don’t feel too good about this.. (glancing side to side)
Ishimaru: (Yes! Him too!) I feel my blood chilling (as always.. sigh)
... Excuse me? This is just... I'm sure you've all gathered that the things inside the parenthesises (and if that isn't a word, then I'm making it one) is the description of what they're doing. BUT, now the author suddenly makes author notes inside them as well (which I underlined). So... confusing... so... very... bad.
Also, proper punctuation is optional.
“Eh-What’s that?” Mamori asked when she saw what Sena was holding.
Sena tried to hide it,saying “erm-it’s just well, ehehe..”
“We found a flower with a note at the doorstep”, said Yuki.
Wait a minute... Since when does this author know how to make a proper dialogue? And if they knew all along.... why did they do it like that in the first place?!
The prologue ends with this:
The Stalker: (lurking somewhere) Damn. Why do they all have to stick their noses into this?! I’ve planned this for so long, but they just ruined it. I have to change my strategy.. next time.
It took the stalker a long time to plan "leave rose with note on doorstep"? Holy shit on a stick. We never actually find out who the receiver of the rose is, but that doesn't really bother me. Because I knew it before the fic started.
On to chapter 1 which is named "The Phantom" for no apparent reason.
“Haaaa?!”
“Haaaaaaa?!”
“Haaaaaaaaaaaaa?!”
The linemen trio aka the Huh-Huh brothers opened with their signature expression.
Is it wrong of me to find it incredibly amusing that the author calls them the Huh-Huh brothers yet says that their signature expression is "Haa"? I mean... if they're the Huh-Huh brother's... shouldn't it be "Huh"?
The receiver is, of course, Hiruma. No one should be surprised by this, he is after all, the most popular guy in the series and sadly (because he's so damn awesome) a magnet when it comes to this kind of things.
The day was done without any more unexpected occurrences; maybe.
It's a good sign when even the author doesn't know.
Now, I want to end my sporking with this little quote:
Hiruma, being what he is, was not given to fear.
He's far too rare and expensive to be given away as a present to this fear person, unlike the rest of us.
I'm quite certain that I could've done a better job even if I had to type it with my tongue. I am, after all, a genius when it comes to typing with my tongue.