Just got posting access, and I bring badfic!
This is my first ever post to this community, which I have read and enjoyed for ages now, but I have only recently got up the courage to join and request posting access (which was kindly granted, thanks mods!). It was all prompted by this fic, which I came across and just had to share. Normally, I’m very forgiving when it comes to bad fanfics, but…well, you’ll see.
As seems the usual here, bold is the fic, regular text is mine.
He was also seemingly losing feather's Dean had noticed a few times when he was sitting next to him that when he moved suddenly a feather would float into existence and away from Castiel, the angel was always dreadfully embarrassed for some reason so Dean decided maybe it was like going bald for a guy and he didn't mention it.
Run-on sentence? Check. Awkward wording? Check. Improper grammar? Check. How am I doing so far?
"what the hell Cas explain your weird self dude?"
This sentence needs to be explained. Like, for instance, why the capital letter at the beginning of the sentence, as well as all those lovely commas, are suspiciously absent.
Dean stood motionless for a moment trying to take in the situation and just as his brain was starting to accept that this was obviously this was just one of the weird things about living with an angel and he was going go out and buy padlocks in the morning till it hit him.
Another run-on sentence. Also, does it sound to anyone else like he’s expecting the padlocks to hit him?
Castiel shivered at his touch and gasped a deep breath in amidst a lot of shallow ones.
Gasp gasp gasp GASP gasp gasp gasp…no?
Then, because this fic wasn’t confusing enough as it was, poor Cas becomes incoherent:
[…omitting long, run on sentence of dialogue…] I did not know what to say I, I, I,"
"ugh Dean, I do, I want this so much, but I can't, ugh uh, mmm Dean"
"mmm no Dean it's it's me"
"mmm Dean I want, I, want… ugh"
Now, you might be tempted to accuse me of posting stuff that’s too explicit, but I have to defend myself and point out that most of this moaning and groaning takes place before we get to any of the ‘good stuff’.
Then, we get this:
"you're so beautiful baby"
This is not Dean Winchester! (Unless he's talking to his car)
"I love you so fucking much Cas"
Yea, that’s better.