Why do I do this to myself?
Every day I raid FF.N in an attempt to find something to read. And every day I find something to bash my head against a wall with. My latest infatuation has been Luigi from the Mario games. And I found this gem.
Mario and the Exchange Student by Storykage
Mario is in the real world and is a student at a primery school in Itily called Castle. Then a new exchange student comes and evryone is horibble to him. [sic]
Now, the tidbit is choppy, and the spelling is poor. But, it's a summary. It's like a twitter post, see how much you can say in one hundred forty spaces or less. It can be hard. So, I thought I'd give it a try. I'll try not to post the whole thing. But with four hundred twenty eight words, it'll be a challenge. Sporking is, of course, in bold.
Mario and the exchange studnet
I don't own Mario the only thing I own is the story line
Thank the Green Earth for little favors. Poor Mario, having to deal with an exchange studnet. Can't he use his own studnet? He wove it himself, he should be able to use it, right? He doesn't know how to use this studnet, let him use his own!
Mario was in the town of Mushroom and in the school castle, where he was taught. That day was a special day for a new exchange student was coming into the class. Everyone was exited, they were moving and chatting, the teacher didn't seem to mind much because even she was exited, but Mario was no that exited because was didnt tend to have much luck when it came to first impreshions.
Can you feel your eye twitching yet? Personally, I want to go to a school castle! The school is so rich, they have their own castle. Where people are "to" busy to do grammar and spelling checks. Maybe it's a magic school, and he'll get to meet Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory and send a letter to his parents via owl! Well, that's my impreshion anyway.
'Oh, I'm so neves and what if hes really like what everyone else is expecting: stong and handsom?Well even if this is true I still will try and make a good . Oh look The 'Prinsess' is getting on her machup, you can tell what shes expecting.' Mario thought.
I'm not even going to touch that with a ten foot pike. But hey, a Mario/Pokemon cross over where Peach has a Machop? AWESOME!
Snip snip, as best I can.
During class everyone avoided Luigi because he looked like a weak person and no-one liked a weak person, the only person who felt sympathetic towards Luigi was Mario but since Mario was a shy person he couldn't even say hello.
Holy run-on sentence Batman! And super out of character time too! Mario, shy? If I remember correctly, when they were in Brooklyn he was the furthest thing from shy. Why he would be any different in Itily is beyond my guess. Now Luigi asks the teacher:
"Miss my I go on the computer so I can e-mail my family in Italy?"
OH MY GOD! Not only did they spell Italy correctly, but they had dialogue that is primary-school-age appropriate! There's hope right?! Wrong. Mario and the others are in Italy, and Luigi's an exchange student from Italy. Unless Itily is some "real world" country I've never heard of before. Also, who's missing? There's no mention of who Luigi was exchanged with. Unless the exchange student program has changed, wasn't it that one of your students took their student's place and vice-versa? Maybe it's Daisy, but I'm sure she'll show up in later chapters anyway.
And darn, email. There goes the owl idea.
Well, that's the first chapter. There's going to be more. I don't plan on reading it. Mods? Can there please be a Mario tag? I'm sure I'm going to be posting many of these in the future.
Mario and the Exchange Student by Storykage
Mario is in the real world and is a student at a primery school in Itily called Castle. Then a new exchange student comes and evryone is horibble to him. [sic]
Now, the tidbit is choppy, and the spelling is poor. But, it's a summary. It's like a twitter post, see how much you can say in one hundred forty spaces or less. It can be hard. So, I thought I'd give it a try. I'll try not to post the whole thing. But with four hundred twenty eight words, it'll be a challenge. Sporking is, of course, in bold.
Mario and the exchange studnet
I don't own Mario the only thing I own is the story line
Thank the Green Earth for little favors. Poor Mario, having to deal with an exchange studnet. Can't he use his own studnet? He wove it himself, he should be able to use it, right? He doesn't know how to use this studnet, let him use his own!
Mario was in the town of Mushroom and in the school castle, where he was taught. That day was a special day for a new exchange student was coming into the class. Everyone was exited, they were moving and chatting, the teacher didn't seem to mind much because even she was exited, but Mario was no that exited because was didnt tend to have much luck when it came to first impreshions.
Can you feel your eye twitching yet? Personally, I want to go to a school castle! The school is so rich, they have their own castle. Where people are "to" busy to do grammar and spelling checks. Maybe it's a magic school, and he'll get to meet Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory and send a letter to his parents via owl! Well, that's my impreshion anyway.
'Oh, I'm so neves and what if hes really like what everyone else is expecting: stong and handsom?Well even if this is true I still will try and make a good . Oh look The 'Prinsess' is getting on her machup, you can tell what shes expecting.' Mario thought.
I'm not even going to touch that with a ten foot pike. But hey, a Mario/Pokemon cross over where Peach has a Machop? AWESOME!
Snip snip, as best I can.
During class everyone avoided Luigi because he looked like a weak person and no-one liked a weak person, the only person who felt sympathetic towards Luigi was Mario but since Mario was a shy person he couldn't even say hello.
Holy run-on sentence Batman! And super out of character time too! Mario, shy? If I remember correctly, when they were in Brooklyn he was the furthest thing from shy. Why he would be any different in Itily is beyond my guess. Now Luigi asks the teacher:
"Miss my I go on the computer so I can e-mail my family in Italy?"
OH MY GOD! Not only did they spell Italy correctly, but they had dialogue that is primary-school-age appropriate! There's hope right?! Wrong. Mario and the others are in Italy, and Luigi's an exchange student from Italy. Unless Itily is some "real world" country I've never heard of before. Also, who's missing? There's no mention of who Luigi was exchanged with. Unless the exchange student program has changed, wasn't it that one of your students took their student's place and vice-versa? Maybe it's Daisy, but I'm sure she'll show up in later chapters anyway.
And darn, email. There goes the owl idea.
Well, that's the first chapter. There's going to be more. I don't plan on reading it. Mods? Can there please be a Mario tag? I'm sure I'm going to be posting many of these in the future.