Comments | badfalcon: FIC: Games Of Love

badfalcon

FIC: Games Of Love

May 10, 2006 20:30

Title: Games Of Love
Author: Cassie Morgan (falconkenobi@aol.com)
Author Web Page: http://www.aemslash.co.uk Obsess, Much?
Fandom: RPS - Good Charlotte/Mest
Categories: Tony Lovato/Joel Madden, PWP, D/s
Rating: NC-17
Thanks to: You, for reading this. xfellx, for requesting in the fic meme. Chel, as ( Read more... )

mest, fanfiction, good charlotte, tony lovato/joel madden

Comments 31

xfellx May 10 2006, 19:38:51 UTC

Yaaaaaaaay :) all I can say right now is

*dies happy*.

badfalcon May 10 2006, 20:33:14 UTC

thank you :D I'm glad you likes it *hugs*

lover_youshould May 10 2006, 19:47:35 UTC

His eyes met Tony's across the room and he visibly relaxed, lips curving into a smile as he purred his lover's name. Shifting his position on the bed he arched his back, rolling his hips forward seductively.

ksjhflkjfhlkf.

Christ, I wish I found that in MY room after a bad day.

badfalcon May 10 2006, 20:33:44 UTC

*beams* thank you :D

and hell, I wouldn't mind find Joel naked and masturbating in my ANY day ;)

elvenpirate May 10 2006, 19:49:50 UTC

Mmm... Joely's so yummy in this... I *almost* want him more than his twin...

badfalcon May 10 2006, 20:34:03 UTC

oi! my twin! *glares!

biofucked May 10 2006, 20:07:28 UTC

I liked it, you always write well.

One thing I'd just like to say.. the dialogue. The way Tony spoke.. people don't actually speak like that, you know? Maybe try to figure out a way to make it more believeable.

badfalcon May 10 2006, 20:29:49 UTC

thanks for the feedback - it appreciated

What specifically did you find un-natural about the dialogue?

wakethefallen May 10 2006, 23:12:01 UTC

I actually think I can answer that, if you don't mind?

A character like Tony (who is, let's face it, pretty fucking dumb) speaks pretty colloquially, so there are a few phrases in there that, I don't know, I just can't see him using. "First Matt’s full of 'flu", I think that's a british thing. But no matter.

"with one hand pillowing your head," is used a couple of times and I really can't see him saying anything other than "holding up your head" or something along those lines. I think basically you need to dumb down the language, because Tony's not as smart as you, lol.

Also, "Ice and fire running through your veins."

Feel free to disagree, though. Hope that helped some.

biofucked May 10 2006, 23:42:09 UTC

definitely, exactly.

Thread 7

filthy_reasons May 10 2006, 20:48:47 UTC

I....you.....okay, I think I just died right here at my comp :)
I love Joel/Tony slash almost as much as twincest....oi was that hot and incredible. Loved it!

badfalcon May 11 2006, 05:46:35 UTC

*g* thank you :D