(no subject)
I made a ridiculous rookie mistake for a ridiculous rookie reason. I didn't take my pills for 4 days. Because I felt better. I think I kinda figured that because I was out of the stressful job and housing situations and felt OK that... yeah. Like I said, rookie mistake.
I just... kept bursting into tears all night. Sure, a couple of the crying fits WERE over Switched At Birth (don't look at me like that!) but mostly it was just... I'm sitting here sobbing my eyes out and I have no idea. I mean I cried myself to headache, cried myself sick is how hard I was crying.
I tried to use happy thoughts to make myself smile. And the first two that came to mind were "it's always good to see you, baby" and "is that lipstick on your boobie?"
Which... proceeded to make me feel worse. And then shit got extra complicated in my head over the fact that - and I still can't quite word this right and I'm fully aware of how bloody ridiculous it is - but the one thing I was using to make myself feel a little better on a shitty evening was the same thing that was hurting a friend. Combined with insults bandied around on twitter against haters and um their relationship with fandom really fucking hurt me even though I know they weren't directed at me and I ain't a hater but a couple of specific terms actually described me.
Yeah, I got myself in a complete and utter fucking mess. Luckily, I has awesome friends. ravensword let me ramble and I cried down the phone to weaselett
Thank you, girls ♥
Today, I'm just feeling a little numb, a little confused, a lot silly and headachey and need to try to sort the shit in my brain out a little. And yes, I started taking the meds again last night!
I just... kept bursting into tears all night. Sure, a couple of the crying fits WERE over Switched At Birth (don't look at me like that!) but mostly it was just... I'm sitting here sobbing my eyes out and I have no idea. I mean I cried myself to headache, cried myself sick is how hard I was crying.
I tried to use happy thoughts to make myself smile. And the first two that came to mind were "it's always good to see you, baby" and "is that lipstick on your boobie?"
Which... proceeded to make me feel worse. And then shit got extra complicated in my head over the fact that - and I still can't quite word this right and I'm fully aware of how bloody ridiculous it is - but the one thing I was using to make myself feel a little better on a shitty evening was the same thing that was hurting a friend. Combined with insults bandied around on twitter against haters and um their relationship with fandom really fucking hurt me even though I know they weren't directed at me and I ain't a hater but a couple of specific terms actually described me.
Yeah, I got myself in a complete and utter fucking mess. Luckily, I has awesome friends. ravensword let me ramble and I cried down the phone to weaselett
Thank you, girls ♥
Today, I'm just feeling a little numb, a little confused, a lot silly and headachey and need to try to sort the shit in my brain out a little. And yes, I started taking the meds again last night!