An update from the land of llama
Long time no blog, well for me anyway. There's been a lot going on, especially in my head, that I'm trying to make sense of and I've been not wanting to post because I'm fed up of the depressed posts I've been making and not wanting to bring people down.
I figured a brief update wouldn't hurt.
Work's going well. I'm absolutely loving it. My phone only rings a couple times a day, if at all. I just settle down and work my way through piles of paperwork and have a wonderful feeling of satisfaction as I work through the to-do pile.
We have emails go out for new starters to the company, emails to everyone in the business.
My boss keeps calling me her shining star, due to my willingness to help other people and my input speed/accuracy. She also bought me a chocolate bar to say thank you for my hard work over month end. How sweet? Course, it reduced me to tears but what can you do?
(and yes, the computer system still drives me batshit! :p)
I'm starting to get a routine as well. I've got the hang of mornings - get up, showered, dressed, fed, play on internet, leave the house, drive. Want to get back into the habit of posting The Morning Wibble though.
Evenings... not so much. I'm still incredibly tired when I get in from work - it's not bone deep exhaustian like it was before it's just... mentally drained from painting on a smile and pretending to me a normal, functioning human being. I get in, I cook, I curl up and chat to ravensword and monica_catch22 on gchat.
It's a little annoying because I've got so much I need to get done. I need to do a big spring clean in the room. I want to do a big wardrobe clear out. But I have no energy/motivation to do either. I thought about doing it over the long easter weekend, but I think I need a mental health weekend. Curling up on mum's couch - hoping to go to Boscobel House at some point if it's nice weather.
The wardrobe clear out is because... so many of my clothes are now way too big for me. Which, y'know, is a wonderful feeling. Six months ago, my size 18 clothes were getting tight on me. As of today, my size 16 work trousers are falling off me. All my work tops are a size 14. The scales are weighing me in at 13' 2 (184 lb) - my doc weighed me in the other week at 12'10 (178lb) but when I got home my scales had me at 13'5 (187).
I'm eating a lot of salad, baked potatoes, rice, pasta, couscous, fruit and veg. My current favourite snack? A celery stick dipped in low fat soft cheese. I'm drinking something like 2l of water a day, and two glasses of pure juice. Plus, I'm down to one can of Pepsi a day - two some days but that's still a vast improvement. And you know what? When I fancy a bar of chocolate... I go buy a bar of chocolate. Well, so long as I'm prepared to do the mile and a third round trip to the garage to buy it
Mostly though, I've been doing a lot of reading.
I always seem to read more when I'm depressed. Escapism, I guess. In the last week, I've read PS I Love You, The Summoning, The Magic of Christmas and have just finished Glitz. Next on the list is Bumps.
Yes, a lot of chick-lit. don't look at me like that.
House-wise it's been all change again.
Dan's moved out. Matt's working away. It's just Me, Wayne and Mark in the house.
HOWEVER, we've discovered that Matt has been failing to pay his bills. This includes his mortgage. For the last six months.
Soon as I'm back from Berlin, I'll be looking for somewhere else to live. Probably a six month house share closer to work.
I am however steadily climbing up the waiting list for a council flat and am averaging around 35 on the list for the properties I put in for - when I signed up last year, I was averaging around 150 on the list so yay.
... So much for a brief update. I could ramble more about depression, panic and anxiety but this has eben a fairly upbeat post so I'm not going to ruin it!
If you made it this far, thank you and congratulations:
(whee two weeks til I gets a celtprincess13 and a charlies_dragon and a weaselett and the fun Steve and Jonah times begin!)
I figured a brief update wouldn't hurt.
Work's going well. I'm absolutely loving it. My phone only rings a couple times a day, if at all. I just settle down and work my way through piles of paperwork and have a wonderful feeling of satisfaction as I work through the to-do pile.
We have emails go out for new starters to the company, emails to everyone in the business.
My boss keeps calling me her shining star, due to my willingness to help other people and my input speed/accuracy. She also bought me a chocolate bar to say thank you for my hard work over month end. How sweet? Course, it reduced me to tears but what can you do?
(and yes, the computer system still drives me batshit! :p)
I'm starting to get a routine as well. I've got the hang of mornings - get up, showered, dressed, fed, play on internet, leave the house, drive. Want to get back into the habit of posting The Morning Wibble though.
Evenings... not so much. I'm still incredibly tired when I get in from work - it's not bone deep exhaustian like it was before it's just... mentally drained from painting on a smile and pretending to me a normal, functioning human being. I get in, I cook, I curl up and chat to ravensword and monica_catch22 on gchat.
It's a little annoying because I've got so much I need to get done. I need to do a big spring clean in the room. I want to do a big wardrobe clear out. But I have no energy/motivation to do either. I thought about doing it over the long easter weekend, but I think I need a mental health weekend. Curling up on mum's couch - hoping to go to Boscobel House at some point if it's nice weather.
The wardrobe clear out is because... so many of my clothes are now way too big for me. Which, y'know, is a wonderful feeling. Six months ago, my size 18 clothes were getting tight on me. As of today, my size 16 work trousers are falling off me. All my work tops are a size 14. The scales are weighing me in at 13' 2 (184 lb) - my doc weighed me in the other week at 12'10 (178lb) but when I got home my scales had me at 13'5 (187).
I'm eating a lot of salad, baked potatoes, rice, pasta, couscous, fruit and veg. My current favourite snack? A celery stick dipped in low fat soft cheese. I'm drinking something like 2l of water a day, and two glasses of pure juice. Plus, I'm down to one can of Pepsi a day - two some days but that's still a vast improvement. And you know what? When I fancy a bar of chocolate... I go buy a bar of chocolate. Well, so long as I'm prepared to do the mile and a third round trip to the garage to buy it
Mostly though, I've been doing a lot of reading.
I always seem to read more when I'm depressed. Escapism, I guess. In the last week, I've read PS I Love You, The Summoning, The Magic of Christmas and have just finished Glitz. Next on the list is Bumps.
Yes, a lot of chick-lit. don't look at me like that.
House-wise it's been all change again.
Dan's moved out. Matt's working away. It's just Me, Wayne and Mark in the house.
HOWEVER, we've discovered that Matt has been failing to pay his bills. This includes his mortgage. For the last six months.
Soon as I'm back from Berlin, I'll be looking for somewhere else to live. Probably a six month house share closer to work.
I am however steadily climbing up the waiting list for a council flat and am averaging around 35 on the list for the properties I put in for - when I signed up last year, I was averaging around 150 on the list so yay.
... So much for a brief update. I could ramble more about depression, panic and anxiety but this has eben a fairly upbeat post so I'm not going to ruin it!
If you made it this far, thank you and congratulations:
(whee two weeks til I gets a celtprincess13 and a charlies_dragon and a weaselett and the fun Steve and Jonah times begin!)