Life is a rollercoaster
Today... has been one hell of a rollercoaster emotionally. I don't know why but I've been up and down and up and down and I seem to be steady on 'up' but that could just be sleep deprivation and caffeine.
Dentist... was definitely helped by listening to Kane, Carlson, Smith & Manns. It didn't completely take away the fear but having something else to concentrate on, taking a semblance of happy place with me helped.
Came home, sorted out laundry, had a wardrobe clear out and took a couple bags of clothes out to the charity shop. That was quite a good feeling, as was getting rid of the last of the size 18 clothes. Goodbye fat clothes.
Although, also kinda scary.
I then curled up in a nest and pressed play on The Life Of Riley. Self-titled, UK tour EP, Long Way Home EP, Life At Hotel Cafe. One after the other.
The self-titled CD had me smiling so wide my cheeks hurt and was giving me so many happy memories, and Short Story Longer transported me straight back to Cologne in September and I was smiling and crying and it felt amazing.
And, while I wouldn't go so far as to say this CD, this band, this man saved my life (that goes to The Goo Goo Dolls and Meat Loaf) but I do think it goes a hell of a long way towards it. Riley... his music... can make me smile even when I'm in my darkest place and that's... yeah, that's a lot. That's fuckin' incredible is what it is, really.
And... that's not what I'd intended on typing there but oh well, it's out there and it's true. So, uh...
But anyway.
Yes. So the TLOR CD made me smile and cry and then there was the 2008 UK Tour EP. There was... a.. uh... slight hiccup listening to that one. Specifically listening to Sweep. There were a couple of lines that just hit me like a fucking suckerpunch and I couldn't stop crying. I completely broke down and I was sobbing my fucking heart out.
Going through motions, pretending we're fine...
Paint a smile on...
Both things I do without thinking about and it just hit me and... I cried and I cried and I cried. I literally cried myself into a headache, to sleep, to sheer exhaustion and then napped for a couple of hours. It felt very... cleansing, in a way.
I pulled myself back together, made a big pot of Hearty Vegetable Soup, and am now busy playing catch up on Supernatural, but after all that, I don't feel like the Supernatural ramblings I'd planned on work here, so I'll save that for another day. heh.
Dentist... was definitely helped by listening to Kane, Carlson, Smith & Manns. It didn't completely take away the fear but having something else to concentrate on, taking a semblance of happy place with me helped.
Came home, sorted out laundry, had a wardrobe clear out and took a couple bags of clothes out to the charity shop. That was quite a good feeling, as was getting rid of the last of the size 18 clothes. Goodbye fat clothes.
Although, also kinda scary.
I then curled up in a nest and pressed play on The Life Of Riley. Self-titled, UK tour EP, Long Way Home EP, Life At Hotel Cafe. One after the other.
The self-titled CD had me smiling so wide my cheeks hurt and was giving me so many happy memories, and Short Story Longer transported me straight back to Cologne in September and I was smiling and crying and it felt amazing.
And, while I wouldn't go so far as to say this CD, this band, this man saved my life (that goes to The Goo Goo Dolls and Meat Loaf) but I do think it goes a hell of a long way towards it. Riley... his music... can make me smile even when I'm in my darkest place and that's... yeah, that's a lot. That's fuckin' incredible is what it is, really.
And... that's not what I'd intended on typing there but oh well, it's out there and it's true. So, uh...
But anyway.
Yes. So the TLOR CD made me smile and cry and then there was the 2008 UK Tour EP. There was... a.. uh... slight hiccup listening to that one. Specifically listening to Sweep. There were a couple of lines that just hit me like a fucking suckerpunch and I couldn't stop crying. I completely broke down and I was sobbing my fucking heart out.
Going through motions, pretending we're fine...
Paint a smile on...
Both things I do without thinking about and it just hit me and... I cried and I cried and I cried. I literally cried myself into a headache, to sleep, to sheer exhaustion and then napped for a couple of hours. It felt very... cleansing, in a way.
I pulled myself back together, made a big pot of Hearty Vegetable Soup, and am now busy playing catch up on Supernatural, but after all that, I don't feel like the Supernatural ramblings I'd planned on work here, so I'll save that for another day. heh.