Busy Busy
Since I've been back in the work force, life has been incredibly busy. There are some pros, I've discovered, to the crazy schedules of retail and food service. But I'm really enjoying my regular business hours, Monday through Friday, 8 a to 5 p. I just wish it wasn't a 40 minute commute. The pay makes it worth it.
Elliott is walking. Not 100% of the time, or anything, but most definitely walking. She's also climbing. Liam is having more fun than ever. Now that she's mobile and interactive, he spends all sorts of time just playing on the floor with her. He loves to make her laugh. He calls her "Stinky."
Wednesday, I put on a patch. Thursday I had 6. Friday I had 5. So far today, I've had 1. I find it harder at home, because I have discovered that I am a "boredom" smoker. At work, I stay pretty busy and move quickly from one task to another, making it easy to let several hours pass without really thinking about it. At home, although I have plenty to do, I don't have things like deadlines to meet, so I tally a bit over things, and get bored easily.
Hopefully, I can fight the temptation today and tomorrow, and very hopefully, by the end of September, I will have quit again entirely. And even more hopefully, maybe it will stick this time.
I am already developing that loud and very productive cough that quitting smoking makes...your lungs finally believe that they will have time to clear out, so they get going. It lasts a couple of months, to who knows how long, I guess, depending on how long you've smoked. Annoying as the cough is, it feels nice. It feels like a cleansing of sorts, and I'm already having an easier time breathing. Considering that On Monday, I was a pack-a-day smoker, and by Thursday I was down by almost 3/4, I'm pretty proud of myself. And if takes longer than the end of this month, then it does. I'm willing to work for this. I'm sick to death of wasting money and feeling ill all the time because of this addiction.
Next is weight. I've only lost a total of 14 pounds so far this year, and I've yo-yo'ed a lot! I'm pretty disappointed in myself over this. I had so hoped to be UNDER my pre(Liam)-pregnancy weight by the time Ellie turned a year old, and I just don't think I can really manage 17 more pounds in 3-ish weeks, short of starving myself and skipping work in favor of working out. I'm just going to have to make some more changes. Some better choices. I've got to stop making myself excuses. If I care enough about myself to stop the smoking, why can't I care enough to get in shape? Its been difficult to find my motivation...and, with a mobile baby and a very regular 40 hour work week, to find the time...but again, these are just excuses. And I need to get over them, and myself, in a big way.
Maybe I should start smaller. In January, at 190 lbs, my goal was to be to 140 by the first of July. In September, I'm 176.5. Maybe I should focus on smaller targets, and celebrate all the victories, rather than berating myself because I've had one bad week, and completely undoing all the work that I had done over the next two. Maybe I'll just focus on getting back to where I was before I got preggers with Ellie. 4.5 lbs. Not bad. Then I can focus on getting to where I was before Liam turned up...Only another 10. I can do that. And then...THEN I can worry about any goals that are bigger than that. Then I can worry about tearing down that last 20 to get to somewhere that I feel comfortable, and that is medically acceptable for my height and build.
God, its SUCH a good thing that I love salads!
In other news, I have a cubic shit-ton of laundry to process today and tomorrow, and I really want to get that done so that the rest of my messy house can start getting back under the realm of my control.
And Michigan's first game of the season is this afternoon...here's hoping for a significantly better season than they had last year.
That's really it for now.
Words of encouragement are greatly appreciated!
Elliott is walking. Not 100% of the time, or anything, but most definitely walking. She's also climbing. Liam is having more fun than ever. Now that she's mobile and interactive, he spends all sorts of time just playing on the floor with her. He loves to make her laugh. He calls her "Stinky."
Wednesday, I put on a patch. Thursday I had 6. Friday I had 5. So far today, I've had 1. I find it harder at home, because I have discovered that I am a "boredom" smoker. At work, I stay pretty busy and move quickly from one task to another, making it easy to let several hours pass without really thinking about it. At home, although I have plenty to do, I don't have things like deadlines to meet, so I tally a bit over things, and get bored easily.
Hopefully, I can fight the temptation today and tomorrow, and very hopefully, by the end of September, I will have quit again entirely. And even more hopefully, maybe it will stick this time.
I am already developing that loud and very productive cough that quitting smoking makes...your lungs finally believe that they will have time to clear out, so they get going. It lasts a couple of months, to who knows how long, I guess, depending on how long you've smoked. Annoying as the cough is, it feels nice. It feels like a cleansing of sorts, and I'm already having an easier time breathing. Considering that On Monday, I was a pack-a-day smoker, and by Thursday I was down by almost 3/4, I'm pretty proud of myself. And if takes longer than the end of this month, then it does. I'm willing to work for this. I'm sick to death of wasting money and feeling ill all the time because of this addiction.
Next is weight. I've only lost a total of 14 pounds so far this year, and I've yo-yo'ed a lot! I'm pretty disappointed in myself over this. I had so hoped to be UNDER my pre(Liam)-pregnancy weight by the time Ellie turned a year old, and I just don't think I can really manage 17 more pounds in 3-ish weeks, short of starving myself and skipping work in favor of working out. I'm just going to have to make some more changes. Some better choices. I've got to stop making myself excuses. If I care enough about myself to stop the smoking, why can't I care enough to get in shape? Its been difficult to find my motivation...and, with a mobile baby and a very regular 40 hour work week, to find the time...but again, these are just excuses. And I need to get over them, and myself, in a big way.
Maybe I should start smaller. In January, at 190 lbs, my goal was to be to 140 by the first of July. In September, I'm 176.5. Maybe I should focus on smaller targets, and celebrate all the victories, rather than berating myself because I've had one bad week, and completely undoing all the work that I had done over the next two. Maybe I'll just focus on getting back to where I was before I got preggers with Ellie. 4.5 lbs. Not bad. Then I can focus on getting to where I was before Liam turned up...Only another 10. I can do that. And then...THEN I can worry about any goals that are bigger than that. Then I can worry about tearing down that last 20 to get to somewhere that I feel comfortable, and that is medically acceptable for my height and build.
God, its SUCH a good thing that I love salads!
In other news, I have a cubic shit-ton of laundry to process today and tomorrow, and I really want to get that done so that the rest of my messy house can start getting back under the realm of my control.
And Michigan's first game of the season is this afternoon...here's hoping for a significantly better season than they had last year.
That's really it for now.
Words of encouragement are greatly appreciated!