the way things have been
I begun a lot of changes in my life after hitting a point that I wish I had never gotten to in the first place. It made me realize the more important things, and want to put those in top priority in hopes that I could salvage the relationships from the destruction I had caused to them. This has been a process of mine for the past few weeks beginning with the sudden passing of my Aunt Olga. It made me so sad to not have been there with her and my family, and I didn't want to ever have those regrets of knowing that the people I love most didn't know it and that I could lose them in any way, shape, or form without telling them before they were gone from me. So these were the changes: First and foremost, to bring all of this to God and begin a renewal of my relationship with him. Along with that, I am beginning better fellowship and accountability in my life to be able to constantly upkeep that. I am also working with Student Venture more now and it is so inspiring to me at this point. It keeps me driven to keep my goals and accomplish more. I am trying to go away to Louisiana this Spring Break for relief work with them, and then the big trip I really want to go on is to Kenya and Uganda this summer. A huge inspiration for this trip was a visit from a group called Invisible Children. If you want to go look them up go to discovertheunseen.com and find out about the war and the people affected by it in Uganda, I encourage you. I have a heart for this, I want to be there so badly this summer. Pray for me for that, I also would have to raise $4500 for trip costs alone not to mention some other expenses like shots, and other neccessities. These things seemed to be going well and renewed a lot of hope for me. Admittedly I was in a pretty sad state. And now, there was one other change that needed to happen. This one...is hardest right now. It seemed to make so much sense and be something positive at the time, and now....I am hurting in it....a lot. All I am doing in it now is waiting, but waiting is like torture for me. With all these positive changes....they are still big things to deal with and kind of hard to keep up with. I have been working and going to classes and doing my homework, and trying to stay social and in the company of good friends so as not to allow myself to wallow in this situation. And student venture, and eating and sleeping....I wasn't prepared for something this hard this quickly and it is breaking me. But I will be faithful, and I will be hopeful. I am just...really sad. But I know it will get better. But that is it I guess. And go look at that website, it will put things into perspective, at least it did for me.