(no subject)
I don't think I'll ever stop struggling to figure what exactly it is that I want to do with my life.
After watching the movie, Wit, I really want to be a doctor.
What better profession? I can help people, counsel them etc. find meaning and purpose in what I'm doing. Make great money- so I can support myself independent of anyone else-- this also erases the need to marry for economic support and instead just for love. I'll also be able to provide for a family.
I just hope it really is what I want to do and I'm not building it up into some fantasy. I need to start working in hospitals to figure it out.
the down side: being a doctor. LONG hours. residency-- my life being taken over by hospital work for a few years. med school. getting into med school. getting through med school. and this presents the problem of maintaining friendships and relationships throughout. I don't know who really wants to be friends with someone who studys human anatomy and cell structure 24/7-- I already struggle with that problem as a freshmen pre-med student I can only imagine how awful it would be as an actual med student.
ANDDDD why can't I get myself to commit to all the work? I have a chem test in 8 hrs. I can't bring myself to continue studying and start memorizing because I just keep staring at the equations. yikes yikes yikes. getting through organic is my biggest fear. Stressing about this is always on my mind in some way or another. Alex even wrote an article in the school newspaper about stressing less-- saying he thought of me during it.
I don't want to be the annoying, overstressed, obsessive study girl.
I want to be care free. kind. successful. pretty. smart. thin. have time to exercise regularly. musically talented.
At times I am thouroughly dissatisfied being a pre med student. but I think if I was anything else, even a nursing major, I would feel like a sell out.
I want to get through this.
After watching the movie, Wit, I really want to be a doctor.
What better profession? I can help people, counsel them etc. find meaning and purpose in what I'm doing. Make great money- so I can support myself independent of anyone else-- this also erases the need to marry for economic support and instead just for love. I'll also be able to provide for a family.
I just hope it really is what I want to do and I'm not building it up into some fantasy. I need to start working in hospitals to figure it out.
the down side: being a doctor. LONG hours. residency-- my life being taken over by hospital work for a few years. med school. getting into med school. getting through med school. and this presents the problem of maintaining friendships and relationships throughout. I don't know who really wants to be friends with someone who studys human anatomy and cell structure 24/7-- I already struggle with that problem as a freshmen pre-med student I can only imagine how awful it would be as an actual med student.
ANDDDD why can't I get myself to commit to all the work? I have a chem test in 8 hrs. I can't bring myself to continue studying and start memorizing because I just keep staring at the equations. yikes yikes yikes. getting through organic is my biggest fear. Stressing about this is always on my mind in some way or another. Alex even wrote an article in the school newspaper about stressing less-- saying he thought of me during it.
I don't want to be the annoying, overstressed, obsessive study girl.
I want to be care free. kind. successful. pretty. smart. thin. have time to exercise regularly. musically talented.
At times I am thouroughly dissatisfied being a pre med student. but I think if I was anything else, even a nursing major, I would feel like a sell out.
I want to get through this.