ugh, i am drowning in delena feels....
It's funny to think that when I first fell in love with TVD, I would never utter the word "DELENA." I still hate name squishes, but I gave in to them at some point, and I can't even remember when it happened.
Anyway, there are rumors going around that Ian and Nikki got married this weekend, but I've seen no official reports. Not even a good TMZ-type article about it. I don't know if I can cope with it anyway, so I'd rather never know for certain.
But, yeah, I just finished S2 of my rewatch, and I've been re-reading fics and re-reading my posts from that time period--and randomly came across a bunch of drabbles I wrote around the end of S2 that were just beautiful, if I do say so myself, but ugh, the angst this show has always put me through. I've died a thousand deaths with Damon Salvatore, you know. In his unrequited love for Elena Gilbert, I spent hundreds of hours. I brought her to him over and over again until the show did it for me, and even once the show did it for me, there was still so much angst...I just.
I don't know why I ever thought Damon and Elena would have a happy ending. In reality, it doesn't make sense. If we look at what the narrative has given us, it makes no sense that they would ride off into the sunset, even if the show were ending this season.
It's like all those years I watched ER and I just wanted John Carter to be happy and one of my fandom friends was like, Oh, Candy. That was never in the cards for Carter. Why did you ever think that?
It's starting to really come into my brain and my heart that as much as Damon and Elena love each other, as much as they are the epic love story of this show, and they are, I have no doubt about it, even if by some bizarre twist of fate the show actually manages to go on for multiple seasons without Elena--but being an endgame couple that loves each other endlessly, that is what they are. Does that mean they will live happily ever after? OF COURSE NOT.
Because when has this show ever been about that? I sort of feel stupid that it has taken me this long to even come to this conclusion. But it suddenly makes more sense to me than just about any other narrative I've obsessively followed.
So, I'm not saying all this to bum anyone out. I'm just realizing the truth of the matter, and I needed to internalize it through writing.
Because I haven't really written ANYTHING in ages...and I feel like Nina leaving the show broke me and I'm afraid maybe I can't write anymore. My muses, they have abandoned me.
This is the worst day ever, all around. #sorrynotsorry
Anyway, there are rumors going around that Ian and Nikki got married this weekend, but I've seen no official reports. Not even a good TMZ-type article about it. I don't know if I can cope with it anyway, so I'd rather never know for certain.
But, yeah, I just finished S2 of my rewatch, and I've been re-reading fics and re-reading my posts from that time period--and randomly came across a bunch of drabbles I wrote around the end of S2 that were just beautiful, if I do say so myself, but ugh, the angst this show has always put me through. I've died a thousand deaths with Damon Salvatore, you know. In his unrequited love for Elena Gilbert, I spent hundreds of hours. I brought her to him over and over again until the show did it for me, and even once the show did it for me, there was still so much angst...I just.
I don't know why I ever thought Damon and Elena would have a happy ending. In reality, it doesn't make sense. If we look at what the narrative has given us, it makes no sense that they would ride off into the sunset, even if the show were ending this season.
It's like all those years I watched ER and I just wanted John Carter to be happy and one of my fandom friends was like, Oh, Candy. That was never in the cards for Carter. Why did you ever think that?
It's starting to really come into my brain and my heart that as much as Damon and Elena love each other, as much as they are the epic love story of this show, and they are, I have no doubt about it, even if by some bizarre twist of fate the show actually manages to go on for multiple seasons without Elena--but being an endgame couple that loves each other endlessly, that is what they are. Does that mean they will live happily ever after? OF COURSE NOT.
Because when has this show ever been about that? I sort of feel stupid that it has taken me this long to even come to this conclusion. But it suddenly makes more sense to me than just about any other narrative I've obsessively followed.
So, I'm not saying all this to bum anyone out. I'm just realizing the truth of the matter, and I needed to internalize it through writing.
Because I haven't really written ANYTHING in ages...and I feel like Nina leaving the show broke me and I'm afraid maybe I can't write anymore. My muses, they have abandoned me.
This is the worst day ever, all around. #sorrynotsorry