[Caroline...you and me, it's not gonna happen.]
It has become such a famous line in fandom now hasn't it? It is just the best ever, and I love it. And I can't start a Stefan(/Caroline) meta without it.
I have always had a complicated relationship with Stefan Salvatore...and there have been times when I disliked him so much that it was hard to remember that at the base of that, I loved him. I have been with Stefan very like how he has been with the "loves" of his life: both Katherine and Elena. I never loved him unconditionally.
But then this season, something changed between Stefan and me. It wasn't just that the road to Caroline seemed to be opening up, it was more that Stefan finally became self-aware. After five seasons of never knowing if I'd want to hug him or pluck his eyes right out of his head on any given episode, Stefan Salvatore finally became a real boy to me. A boy who might finally mature into a man that not only I could love unconditionally, but that I could root for, in a way I never had before.
What's funny is this response I got on my "Meta is Coming" post from yesterday. k_stjames said, "...I still initially defer to Stefan being an emotionally stunted child who blames his brother and the world for all his trouble."
That is EXACTLY how I see him! And even with those moments this season, like when he told Caroline that he had run from her specifically because it was too honest between them, I haven't fully trusted this growth arc for Stefan because it's so rarely gone anywhere in the past. And when I was watching this episode, I had gone to a friend's house to watch it with her, and as soon as Stefan was hemming and hawing about his feelings for Caroline, I was throwing my hands up in the air and declaring him on my bad list again. My friend was quick to defend him and say, "Give him a chance to get it," but I was so easily ready to kick him to the curb again, it's not even funny.
I mean, WHO COULDN'T LOVE CAROLINE??? Especially the Caroline that Stefan has always had access, too, which is the absolutely best version of Caroline, because she's always been totally real with Stefan. The most important thing I've always thought about this love story, if played right, is the fact that Stefan couldn't love Katherine knowing the truth about her, and he couldn't love Elena when she was no longer the helpless human girl he had put on a perfect pedestal in his head. But Caroline! Caroline was the girl he only loved AFTER she became a vampire, after he knew everything about her.
So that's why what happens in 6x15 is so important for Stefan, and for his arc.
I, like others I've seen out there, don't think Damon gave "bad" advice, though that's the way Julie Plec described it in her post-episode interview. I also don't blame Damon for Caroline flipping her switch: Damon is, and always has been, brutally honest. Both his scene with Caroline and his scene with Stefan were representations of him saying, here's the worst case scenario, and you're walking into it so watch yourself. Both times he was actually looking out for Caroline, which is really interesting given the history between those two characters. And in fact, it's the opposition of it all that gives Stefan the opportunity to push back against it, and say, you know what? Maybe love isn't JUST this one thing. Maybe love is that, and this, and many things, and I am finally not just a 17 year old, emotionally stunted boy, but I'm finally becoming a 165 year old vampire who has had multiple experiences, and I CHOOSE THIS ONE. Because it's good, because it's right, because it brings out things in me I never knew before.
Like right here:
I call this Damon Putting Words Into Stefan's Heart. Because haven't you ever had that experience before, where you felt something, but you couldn't really express it, and then BAM! someone comes along and says the EXACT thing you felt and you're like THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR PUTTING VOICE TO MY FEELINGS!
It's not like Stefan doesn't know this about Caroline; he admires her so much for a reason! He ran from her all summer, FOR A REASON! But now, suddenly, HE GETS IT. It clicks into place.
And that moment. THE MOMENT. You know what I'm talking about, right? I can't find a gif of it that shows exactly what I want, so here is the video clip:
It starts at 3:34: his realization. The way his face changes slightly, and how his whole body shifts forward, towards her. It's just SO PERFECT. It happens to him ALL AT ONCE, SUDDENLY, IN EVERY PART OF HIS BODY.
I know it's hard to be Stefan, the straight man to Damon, who gets to be bombastic and over the top and unsubtle with every breath he takes. But that's also why I've loved Damon so unabashedly since I first clapped eyes on him: I always knew exactly what was going on with him. Stefan has always been so enigmatic, and oft times it's been very frustrating, not just knowing what he feels or thinks, but having any sort of vantage point as to WHY he might feel or think any particular thing.
In this moment, there is no such divide for me as an audience member from Stefan as a character. I have been in love with Caroline for him for a long time, so when he finally caught up with me, it was this most magical of all moments, you know?
It was everything I've been hoping for since 2x13.
And then, when he explained it to Damon...when I could see not just what he FEELS, but what he THINKS ABOUT WHAT HE FEELS? And that he's growing--not just outgrowing the relationship he had with Elena, but understanding that it wasn't all that great to begin with? I could have given a standing ovation to him as a character, to Julie Plec as a writer (and director, at least for this moment), to Paul Wesley as an actor, etc, etc. It was the perfect storm of storytelling. Magnificent.
It made me so happy, it gave me so many feelings, and it was a long time coming.
Of course, now we get to see just how much this realization lends to the growth of Stefan in other ways: can he love Caroline when she is not the "best vampire" he knows? Will he love her as she struggles with all this? Will he stand by her, the way he has promised to do, as her friend, with no thought to the romantic implications that now lie between them?
I don't know, but I certainly hope that those answers are yeses! I hope that his arc continues in this way so that my love for him as a character can keep growing, too.
This is the first time ever I've wished for a crossover with The Originals...I would love it if Stefan chased Caroline down to NOLA. I don't think that's what will happen, but I'd read that fic, you know? ;-)
I have always had a complicated relationship with Stefan Salvatore...and there have been times when I disliked him so much that it was hard to remember that at the base of that, I loved him. I have been with Stefan very like how he has been with the "loves" of his life: both Katherine and Elena. I never loved him unconditionally.
But then this season, something changed between Stefan and me. It wasn't just that the road to Caroline seemed to be opening up, it was more that Stefan finally became self-aware. After five seasons of never knowing if I'd want to hug him or pluck his eyes right out of his head on any given episode, Stefan Salvatore finally became a real boy to me. A boy who might finally mature into a man that not only I could love unconditionally, but that I could root for, in a way I never had before.
What's funny is this response I got on my "Meta is Coming" post from yesterday. k_stjames said, "...I still initially defer to Stefan being an emotionally stunted child who blames his brother and the world for all his trouble."
That is EXACTLY how I see him! And even with those moments this season, like when he told Caroline that he had run from her specifically because it was too honest between them, I haven't fully trusted this growth arc for Stefan because it's so rarely gone anywhere in the past. And when I was watching this episode, I had gone to a friend's house to watch it with her, and as soon as Stefan was hemming and hawing about his feelings for Caroline, I was throwing my hands up in the air and declaring him on my bad list again. My friend was quick to defend him and say, "Give him a chance to get it," but I was so easily ready to kick him to the curb again, it's not even funny.
I mean, WHO COULDN'T LOVE CAROLINE??? Especially the Caroline that Stefan has always had access, too, which is the absolutely best version of Caroline, because she's always been totally real with Stefan. The most important thing I've always thought about this love story, if played right, is the fact that Stefan couldn't love Katherine knowing the truth about her, and he couldn't love Elena when she was no longer the helpless human girl he had put on a perfect pedestal in his head. But Caroline! Caroline was the girl he only loved AFTER she became a vampire, after he knew everything about her.
So that's why what happens in 6x15 is so important for Stefan, and for his arc.
I, like others I've seen out there, don't think Damon gave "bad" advice, though that's the way Julie Plec described it in her post-episode interview. I also don't blame Damon for Caroline flipping her switch: Damon is, and always has been, brutally honest. Both his scene with Caroline and his scene with Stefan were representations of him saying, here's the worst case scenario, and you're walking into it so watch yourself. Both times he was actually looking out for Caroline, which is really interesting given the history between those two characters. And in fact, it's the opposition of it all that gives Stefan the opportunity to push back against it, and say, you know what? Maybe love isn't JUST this one thing. Maybe love is that, and this, and many things, and I am finally not just a 17 year old, emotionally stunted boy, but I'm finally becoming a 165 year old vampire who has had multiple experiences, and I CHOOSE THIS ONE. Because it's good, because it's right, because it brings out things in me I never knew before.
Like right here:
I call this Damon Putting Words Into Stefan's Heart. Because haven't you ever had that experience before, where you felt something, but you couldn't really express it, and then BAM! someone comes along and says the EXACT thing you felt and you're like THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR PUTTING VOICE TO MY FEELINGS!
It's not like Stefan doesn't know this about Caroline; he admires her so much for a reason! He ran from her all summer, FOR A REASON! But now, suddenly, HE GETS IT. It clicks into place.
And that moment. THE MOMENT. You know what I'm talking about, right? I can't find a gif of it that shows exactly what I want, so here is the video clip:
Click to viewIt starts at 3:34: his realization. The way his face changes slightly, and how his whole body shifts forward, towards her. It's just SO PERFECT. It happens to him ALL AT ONCE, SUDDENLY, IN EVERY PART OF HIS BODY.
I know it's hard to be Stefan, the straight man to Damon, who gets to be bombastic and over the top and unsubtle with every breath he takes. But that's also why I've loved Damon so unabashedly since I first clapped eyes on him: I always knew exactly what was going on with him. Stefan has always been so enigmatic, and oft times it's been very frustrating, not just knowing what he feels or thinks, but having any sort of vantage point as to WHY he might feel or think any particular thing.
In this moment, there is no such divide for me as an audience member from Stefan as a character. I have been in love with Caroline for him for a long time, so when he finally caught up with me, it was this most magical of all moments, you know?
It was everything I've been hoping for since 2x13.
And then, when he explained it to Damon...when I could see not just what he FEELS, but what he THINKS ABOUT WHAT HE FEELS? And that he's growing--not just outgrowing the relationship he had with Elena, but understanding that it wasn't all that great to begin with? I could have given a standing ovation to him as a character, to Julie Plec as a writer (and director, at least for this moment), to Paul Wesley as an actor, etc, etc. It was the perfect storm of storytelling. Magnificent.
It made me so happy, it gave me so many feelings, and it was a long time coming.
Of course, now we get to see just how much this realization lends to the growth of Stefan in other ways: can he love Caroline when she is not the "best vampire" he knows? Will he love her as she struggles with all this? Will he stand by her, the way he has promised to do, as her friend, with no thought to the romantic implications that now lie between them?
I don't know, but I certainly hope that those answers are yeses! I hope that his arc continues in this way so that my love for him as a character can keep growing, too.
This is the first time ever I've wished for a crossover with The Originals...I would love it if Stefan chased Caroline down to NOLA. I don't think that's what will happen, but I'd read that fic, you know? ;-)