Why, hello there, kittens! I'm Kanji, esteemed reporter of all things fabulous and ever so delightfully naughty, and I'm here with a most special update for a fandom just beginning its long, hard... journey into adulthood~!
SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI: PERSONA 4 KINK MEME
In this scintillating post of mine, you can comment anonymously with any pairing
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Reaching his arm into the water between his legs, Souji rubbed at the mess still clinging to him. Faint pinkish-red clouds swirled to the surface of the water, dissolving away soon after. He watched it, almost entranced, and the minute he let his mind go the night’s scene replayed for him again. He remembered the violent way he came, an experience that paled everything he had successfully wrung from his body when he masturbated. The fact that it had felt so good was beyond any imaginable humiliation. And Yosuke had gone through it as well. Though he knew it wasn’t necessarily Dojima’s fault, it was still rape.
Dojima. Did he really think of Souji that way? He couldn’t believe this had been going on under his nose and he never even caught so much as a hint. He felt so stupid. Souji’s temples began to throb painfully with the thought. Leaning forward, he rested his head in his hands and covered his stinging eyes from the light, trying to choke back his tears.
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captcha is "slapping the" X-0
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captcha says Mass detour... [cough] I guess > <
So. Point: I love you and your writing =D please don't stop now okay?
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Thank you! I appreciate the encouragement.
~a!a
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Soft knocking on his bedroom door roused him and Souji pulled the blanket down from his face to glare at the dusty rays of morning sunshine crawling in from behind his curtains. It felt as though he had hardly gotten any sleep last night. What time was it anyway? He rubbed at his eyes and realized his lids were swollen. His mouth and throat felt siphoned dry.
Groaning, he turned his neck to look at the wall clock and the action sent a fleeting jolt of dull pain through his skull. The knocking came again.
“Big Bro! You’re gonna be late!”
Souji forced himself to sit up and get out of bed, the blood rushing from his head momentarily fading his vision to a haze. He smashed his pinky toe on the leg of his worktable and muttered a curse under his breath as he made his way at a slight hobble toward the door. Nanako stood on the other side wearing her usual worried frown with her school uniform on, a small, folded umbrella gripped in her hand.
“Are you sick?” she asked.
Souji nodded sluggishly and rested his forehead against the doorframe with closed eyes. “I think so.”
“Oh. You must’ve caught whatever Dad has. He’s staying home today, too.”
Recollection unrolled slowly in Souji’s brain.
“…There’s some miso soup in the fridge. Make sure you both eat it, okay?” She gave him a firm look that only a child well practiced at playing the household mother could muster.
Souji offered a weak grin. “Yes, Boss.”
She wilted and smiled in return, giving a sweet little wave as she departed. “It’s supposed to rain today, so be sure to stay inside. And don’t forget to drink lots of water!”
When she had gone, the front door firmly shut and the house left to uncomfortable stillness, Souji wondered what he should do. There wasn’t enough time to make it to morning classes. Not only that, but the thought of Kashiwagi teasing him in front of the class for being tardy made him inwardly cringe. Not that he wanted to make an appearance today as it was. He was awake now, despite the lingering fatigue, so trying to get back to sleep seemed impossible. Breakfast didn’t sound like a very attractive option either, though the growling in his stomach insisted otherwise. Force-feeding himself was probably the best course of action at this point. Energy in any form sounded far more favorable to the wasted state in which he currently suffered.
Sighing, he returned to the bedroom to rummage through his dresser drawer in search of his faded jeans. As he pulled them on over his boxers, he realized his body didn’t hurt nearly as much as it had yesterday. For that, he was grateful. Next he slipped on his white Junes-logo t-shirt-a cheesy prize for winning some weekly motivational employee competition-that Yosuke had given him several weeks ago. Though it was meant to be a sort of souvenir of Inaba-or so Yosuke had claimed, though Souji theorized that his friend probably had a stockpile of them-Souji tended to wear it when he felt like spending the day slopping about the house. It was a bit oversized, but comfortable at least. And the fact that it had belonged to Yosuke instilled a sort of stupid yet benign calm into Souji’s being. He certainly could use that on a day like this.
Moving out into the hallway, he glanced over and saw that Dojima’s door hadn’t budged. Only when he exhaled his relief did he realize he had been holding his breath in the first place. He didn’t think he could handle the inevitable confrontation first thing in the morning. Rehearsing something prior sounded like a better plan. Maybe he would get to work on that over breakfast.
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Taking out the pot and setting it on a burner turned to its lowest setting, Souji became lost in thought, wondering if Dojima was really okay. It had taken some time for his friends to recover from confronting their own Shadows, but they managed to grow stronger from it in the end. Dojima was different somehow. Souji considered whether or not the man had acquired some hidden power from the experience. If he had, there was no sign of it. And if not, then what remained?
The circumstances of Dojima’s abduction composed an even greater mystery. Why him? Or perhaps more importantly, how? Dojima was not young like the rest of them, nor was he physically weak by any means. Even still. Souji knew something critical was missing. Something he should have seen but didn’t. Had Dojima appeared on TV at some point prior to his abduction? If so, how could there be any way that both he and Nanako knew nothing about it?
Souji nearly jumped right from his skin when he heard the doorbell’s sudden, shattering chime. His heart racing, he shook his head and forced himself to laugh at his own high-strung reaction. Yet he wondered who would come by at this hour. Nanako might have forgotten something. Or maybe Yosuke had skipped class to come to check on him.
He didn’t expect to see Adachi standing there on the doorstep, smiling in the already-fading sunlight. Dark clouds brooded thickly in the sky over the man’s shoulder, bloated with the promise of rain.
“Hi there. Um, no school today?” Adachi regarded Souji somewhat quizzically, but his smile never faltered.
“No. Just, not feeling so hot.”
Adachi lifted his head in a gesture of understanding. “Ah. Must’ve caught it from Dojima-san, huh?”
“Uh, that could be.”
“Hmm. Guess that’s understandable.” His gaze remained steady on Souji’s eyes. “You two live together and all.”
Souji shrugged and looked away.
“Oh, yeah,” Adachi seemed to snap from his reverie and held out a plastic bag. “I came to deliver this to him. And you, too, I suppose. It’s chicken soup. Er, mind if I come in?”
“He’s still asleep, but...” Souji moved aside to let the taller man through.
Adachi removed his shoes and ambled into the kitchen, where he spied the pot warming on the stove. The tangy scent of miso and seaweed already touched the air. “Oh, guess you already had yourselves covered didn’t you? And here I was kinda looking forward to playing doctor.” He set the bag down on the table anyway.
“Nanako made it,” Souji replied somewhat dumbly.
Adachi moved a step closer and tilted his head down slightly to openly study Souji’s face. The bold and somewhat strange action made Souji take a cautious step back, his brow crunched in confusion.
“Huh. You don’t really look sick.” Adachi reached out to touch Souji’s forehead.
The sight of that masculine hand coming toward him made Souji reflexively flinch his face away.
Adachi laughed uncertainly and stayed his arm. “H-hey, what’s the matter? I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Souji could feel a blush rising to his cheeks, betraying his momentary consternation, and it ticked him off. He looked down at the floor. “Sorry.”
“Listen. Is…something wrong?”
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“Didn’t sleep well?”
“Not especially.” Souji moved to the stove where he picked up a large spoon and stirred the steaming soup, focusing on the white lumps of tofu dancing in the broth. Something about Adachi was making him anxious, though he was betting on his own nervous projections as the cause. Still, it almost felt as though the man just somehow knew.
Souji didn’t hear him move, didn’t sense the man behind him at all. He only felt the hands fall softly on his shoulders and his own muscles tense up in reaction. His arm froze but his eyes remained fixed wide on the slowly dying spiral in the pot before him, dragging the soup’s components along helplessly in its wake. Adachi was massaging his shoulders with care, the man’s fingers pressing into the knots in his upper back he didn’t realize he had.
“You’re pretty worked up, aren’t you?”
Adachi’s question was soft, concerned, too close to his ear. But that wasn’t what made Souji start to tremble. It was the way he enunciated it. The way Dojima’s Shadow had described Yosuke’s reaction to the bodiless voices in the TV world yesterday.
“Don’t…” Souji couldn’t stop himself now. Clouds swallowed the sunlight that had gently filtered in through the kitchen window, casting a shadow into the room.
“Souji, didn’t I say I wasn’t going to hurt you?”
Souji.
It was something about the way Adachi spoke, the way he had said his name. A bristling chill bloomed in Souji’s chest, spreading its tendrils twisting along his spine. Too paralyzed to move, he squeezed his eyes shut and felt the breath in his lungs begin to stale.
“Adachi? What are you doing here?”
The hands that had migrated to his neck tensed briefly before sliding away and Souji was finally able to breathe again. What the hell had just happened?
“Dojima-san! I was worried about you so I thought I’d swing by and bring you an old-fashioned cure.”
Souji finally turned to see his uncle standing there, near the stairs, wearing his long black bathrobe and an expression of stern confusion. His eyes were fixed on Adachi.
“Ahaha. Well, I didn’t know your nephew was sick, too, or I would’ve brought more. But it seems like Nana-chan beat me to it anyway.”
Dojima carefully broke his gaze away to look at Souji. Though it only lasted an instant, Souji could tell that look was still filled with remorse and deep concern. And, something else?
“Um, thanks, but you’d better get back to work now,” Dojima said and began to walk meaningfully toward the front door. “Tell them I’ll be in tomorrow at the latest would ya?”
“Oh, uh, yeah. Sure thing.” Adachi replied. Once Dojima had disappeared into the hallway, he turned back to Souji, who watched him with a certain degree of panic. “Well. Take care of yourself.” He smiled as if he hadn’t recognized Souji’s trepidation and moved to join Dojima.
Once the door had opened and shut again, Souji tensed all over again. Shit. He still wasn’t ready. But ready or not, they had to resolve this. He took a deep breath. Whatever the case, however their words might be exchanged, they had to put aside what had happened and come together to fight this thing.
The black-clad man reemerged and entered the kitchen area, clearly having composed himself a moment ago. He picked up his cigarettes from the table and lit one. When he spoke he didn’t hesitate. “Sit down. We need to talk.”
Souji obeyed, mentally preparing himself. He would talk now. Reveal their secret about the TV world. The nature of the Shadows. The connection between the victims. Today was the day he would tell Dojima everything. Adrenaline moved through his veins. But he didn’t even get the first word in.
Dojima had looked at him, levelly for a moment, before the smoke pluming from the man’s mouth and nostrils clouded the space between them. When he spoke it was clear there was no room for arguments.
“I think it would be better for both of us if you didn’t live here anymore.”
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...
*reaches down to pull that knife twisting in her stomach*
sldkjf;adjlkfjd; damn. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayum.
*pouts and pets Souji* ;_;
Oh Adachi, you magnificent bastard. XD
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i love love love this, i didn't think i would, but you are doing a great job anon x
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Erm, I sorta let this chapter write itself. I'm not sure I'm happy with the results but...I'll work with it! Just didn't want to delay an update for much longer.
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Yosuke glared up at the clock for what seemed like the fiftieth time that morning, hating himself all over again for even bothering to show up at school. What the hell had he been thinking? Dragging his limbs out of bed that morning had been a feat akin to hauling around cinder blocks, but the hope of seeing Souji motivated him enough to get him there. Naturally, and as his luck would have it, Souji hadn’t even shown up. He didn’t know why he thought his friend would come in the first place. Not after all that had happened. But then again, he wondered what that said about himself...
And seriously, had time actually stopped or what?!
He watched the rain patter against the windows for a while, but that quickly bored him. A sharp sigh escaped his nose and Chie turned to cast a curious glance in his direction. He wanted to flip her off. She’d been doing that all day and it was starting to annoy him. Just as soon as he felt that compulsion, however, he was sorry for it. After all, practically everyone had been staring at him at some point. Or more accurately, staring at the scabbing cut on his lip and the bluish purple bruise cushioning it. He had even gone to the extent of pondering stealing some of his mother’s makeup foundation that morning, and very nearly regretted not going through with it. Still, it was a bit strange that no one other than Chie and Yukiko had actually asked him about it. He knew the excuse he supplied for them was completely lame-turning around without paying attention and smacking dead-on into a rack in Junes-because it was pretty obvious he had been slugged in the face, but neither rebutted.
Everyone else had his or her own rather imaginative ways of figuring it out during homeroom that morning. Though he had mostly caught snatches in whispers, he inwardly fumed just as if they had been shouting. Discretion was not a word in his classmates’ vocabulary.
”Hey, check out Hanamura’s face. And don’t you think it’s kinda weird that Seta’s not here today?”
“What, you think they got into a fight?”
“I dunno. Maybe Hanamura finally tried to put the moves on Seta and got smacked for it. Haha!”
“Ehhh?! No way!"
Yosuke cringed at the recollection and quickly pushed it from his line of thought. They were all just looking for an excuse to gossip anyway. He knew he shouldn’t waste his energy worrying about them when he should be worried over someone that mattered.
He snuck his cell phone out of his pocket for the second time in the last ten minutes and discreetly flipped it open to see if Souji had called. Nothing. Not that he should have been surprised, as his phone was set to vibrate. He had left a couple of messages and hoped that Souji had got them. His phone was clearly on; it had rung several times before Souji’s bored but pleasant voicemail picked up. He wanted to hear that voice again right now, even if it didn’t cheer him up much. He would just have to endure until lunch break to try calling again.
Just as he shoved his phone back into his pocket, however, the thing buzzed angrily against his thigh. Yosuke gripped it, startled, and pulled it out again. He had already guessed at who was on the other end, but seeing Souji’s name on the screen made his heart skip a beat anyway. He was certain something was wrong. Still clutching the phone in his pocket, he raised his arm into the air.
“Yes, Hana-chan?” Mr. Hosoi gestured in his direction with his hand puppet.
“Um, can I use the restroom?” Yosuke asked and lowered his arm.
“Well sure, but hurry on back. We’re discussing the rebels next.” The puppet nodded in affirmation.
Yosuke stood and swiftly fled toward the rear door, feeling all eyes turned and locked like crosshairs on his retreating form. By the time he had the classroom door shut behind him, his phone was no longer animate. Wandering slowly down the hall, he speed-dialed Souji’s number.
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“Oh, hey.” The voice greeting him sounded drained. “You in school?”
Yosuke felt his brow stiffen when he had to strain to hear his friend’s reply. There was just a quality too unnaturally controlled, too restrained about it. Something was definitely amiss.
Yosuke didn’t want to waste time with chitchat. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”
A short pause on the other end tormented him. Souji was obviously pondering how to answer those questions. When he replied, it clearly hadn’t been what he wanted to say: “There’s nowhere I can go. I…can you come meet me?”
Yosuke knew he could stand here all day trying to wring more information from his friend, but that would probably turn up fruitless in the end. He’d rather see Souji face-to-face right now anyway. “Where are you?”
“The gazebo.”
“Okay, hang tight. I’ll jet as soon as lit class gets out, k?”
“Mmm.”
There was a soft click followed by heavy silence and Yosuke clung to the severed connection for a moment longer, the empty hum dense in his ear. Finally, with a deep breath of resolve, he closed his phone and returned to class.
By the time the bell signaled the hour’s end, Yosuke was riled up and ready to escape. He had stuffed his blank notebook away early and his hand lingered on his bag’s strap in anticipation as he thought about the best route to take without being caught by anyone on the faculty. If he went over to the practice building and exited through the back he should be okay. He had seen other kids doing the same in order to sneak smokes or flee assemblies, and they were rarely apprehended.
A feminine voice barked his name before he could make it to the side stairwell. He turned and saw Chie striding purposefully toward him, a scowl on her face.
“What is it? I gotta go.” Yosuke complained, still edging toward the stairs.
“Will you please tell me what’s going on? You’re acting like you’re practically deranged.” Chie crossed her arms expectantly.
“Uh, later.” Yosuke broke away and launched himself down the stairs, Chie’s indignant protests streaming after.
His plan had succeeded; no one bothered paying him much mind as he jogged through the halls and subsequently disappeared from school grounds. A few had thrown curious glances-probably making mental notes for later gossip mongering-but he ignored them. By the time he reached the flood plain the rain had slowed to a light drizzle.
Pausing to catch his breath, he spied a familiar form sitting hunched over beneath the gazebo roof. Yosuke instinctively broke back into a run, but as he closed the distance and his friend’s lifeless expression came into sharper focus, his energy curbed. Souji’s face was pale and gaunt, as if he hadn’t taken in food or rest for days. Even his lips looked dry and bloodless above that awful Junes t-shirt Yosuke remembered regifting some time ago with a tinge of embarrassment. Souji was usually a fairly sharp dresser, even on his days off. Seeing him in a state completely lacking in fashion sense reaffirmed Yosuke’s fears. It was clear that Souji had been wandering in the rain without an umbrella as well; his hair hung in damp tendrils and his clothes were practically soaked through.
Not bothering to wait for his friend to initiate their conversation, Yosuke dropped his umbrella next to the table and sat down as close as he could with minimal threat of making Souji uncomfortable.
“What’s happened?” Though the urge seized him, Yosuke resisted the temptation to clasp Souji’s hand.
Souji didn’t turn his head to look at his companion when he spoke. “I was kicked out.” His voice was hollow, numb.
“Kicked out? What do you mean?”
“He said…he said it was better if we spent time away from each other. That he couldn’t trust himself around me anymore.” Souji lifted his eyes to Yosuke’s. “I couldn’t tell him anything! He wouldn’t even listen!”
The quavering in Souji’s voice prompted Yosuke’s arms into action, spectators be damned. He reached out and pulled Souji into his body, folding his arms protectively around the other boy’s back. The rainwater in Souji’s hair seeped through his shirt, but he couldn’t have cared less. Though he was relieved when Souji didn’t pull away, anger churned in his gut.
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“I mean, he said it wasn’t a permanent thing, but…shit! I just didn’t know who else to call.”
Yosuke shook his head in an attempt to quell his indignation. “Don’t worry. You can stay with me.” Though Souji shivered from the chill, his breath came out in short, hot bursts against Yosuke’s chest, worming in through the thin cotton of his summer uniform shirt.
“Sorry. Just ‘til all this gets resolved.”
Souji’s voice rumbled gently against his skin, and something fluttered in Yosuke’s stomach at the sensation. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the feeling stretched downward until he felt its lazy fingers tentatively prod at his cock. Shit. If Souji knew he was getting aroused at this decidedly inappropriate moment there would be no hope of making up for his shame. He reluctantly pushed his friend away and stood up.
“Come on, you’re soaked.” Did Souji look hurt for a second there, or was he imagining it?
The silver-haired boy nodded and stood as well. “Okay.”
Sharing Yosuke’s umbrella, the two set off for the Hanamura residence. Yosuke was almost glad his parents would be away at work most of the day; he wasn’t sure how he’d explain his friend’s state to them should they be home. And then there was the part where he’d have to convince them that another of his friends would be temporarily moving in. Hell, talking them into accepting Teddie as a new member of the household had been hard enough (room and board in return for bringing in free publicity as a mascot for Junes seemed to clinch the deal in his father’s eyes, however). Getting Souji freshened up and fed would be a good starting point, though.
Teddie sat immersed in a small pile of pillows on the floor in front of the television, a mug of hot cocoa in hand, when the two boys entered the house. Seeing those curious blue eyes turn and silently stare at them made Yosuke realize they wouldn’t be able to hide what had happened any longer. He could bullshit a convincing excuse for his parents, but there was no way Teddie would play that game any more. Especially when Souji trailed in behind him in such a pathetic state. During school hours no less.
Yosuke didn’t let Teddie speak. “Hey, Ted, I’m gonna go run a bath. Would you mind making two more of those?” He gestured toward Teddie’s mug.
Teddie nodded wordlessly and watched the boys file up the stairs.
Once they reached the bathroom and Yosuke had the tub water going, Souji laughed weakly. “He looked pretty shocked. Guess I can’t blame him.”
“Don’t worry about that.” Yosuke adjusted the water’s temperature and straightened to face his friend. He immediately regretted allowing his eyes to linger on the hard nubs of Souji’s nipples, which were clearly visible beneath the cold wet shirt stretched over the boy’s chest. Images of Souji’s face ensnared in the grip of ecstasy flashed through his mind’s eye. He blinked and looked away, abashed. “Uh, the bath’ll be ready soon. I’ll go check on that hot chocolate.”
Yosuke fled past Souji, who stepped back in nothing less than surprise, and quickly closed the door behind him. Once out in the hallway, Yosuke rested a hand on the wall and leaned his weight against it. He knew Souji was stripping on the other side of that wall, and his heart accelerated at the thought. What in the hell was getting into him? The last thing he should’ve been imagining at a time like this was…well, that. He knew it wasn’t right, but that didn’t stop his blood from flooding to all the wrong places.
Lifting himself from the wall, he smacked the heel of his hand against his forehead several times and tried to replace the sordid images with something less savory in order to get his body under control. The ghost of Souji curled up in tears, spent and bleeding on the floor, came unbidden into his mind next. Much to his horror, Yosuke realized he had only grown harder.
Rounding hastily, he retreated to his room. He frantically dug through the garments in his closet until his old, oversized hoodie came into view. Tearing it from the hanger and slinging it on, he thanked whatever happened to be listening that he hadn’t thrown it out with the family’s last spring-cleaning.
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“Thanks.”
“Yosuke-” Teddie began, but apparently thought better of what he had planned on saying and cut himself off.
Yosuke didn’t need to hear it to understand. “Tonight. I swear.”
Teddie nodded and retreated back to his spot in front of the TV. Yosuke watched him go, almost hating himself for making Teddie worry for this long as it was. He knew the quiet, controlled behavior that Teddie exhibited was completely uncustomary. But he could really only blame himself for that.
Sighing, Yosuke made his way back up the stairs. After carefully setting the scalding cup in his right hand on the floor, he knocked against bathroom door. When Souji called out permission to enter, Yosuke realized he was somewhat nervous of taking it. Still, it wasn’t like he could run away now. He opened the door a crack and retrieved the mug before pushing his way in. The room was already steaming up.
Souji looked up from his reclining position in the tub and smiled faintly. Yosuke felt his mouth clap shut as he looked away, not allowing his eyes more than a second to grope his vulnerable friend this time. But apparently a second was all he needed. He hadn’t even realized his jaw was agape to begin with. Not good.
“What are you wearing that big ugly thing for?” Souji asked and reached to take the mug Yosuke had clumsily set on the tub’s edge. “It’s not that cold.”
Yosuke shrugged and set his own cup on the sink. “Well I’m cold.” He hadn’t meant for his voice to come out that defensively.
Souji caught it anyway. “Oh. Sorry.”
Hearing that apology sent a mixture of pity and anger through his blood, though Yosuke wasn’t certain why. He suddenly felt both hot and foolish wearing that jacket in the warm room. “Tch. You don’t have to apologize.”
“Um, thanks. For the cocoa.”
Yosuke wasn’t sure how the atmosphere became so tense in such a short period of time, but he was not enjoying it. “No problem.” He moved toward the door again. “There are clean towels in the far right cupboard. Make yourself at home.”
“Yosuke.”
The sound of his name melded with a plea for him to stay halted his feet. “Yeah?” He turned and saw Souji looking at him, a faint blush on the kid’s cheeks.
Souji averted his eyes. “Can we talk? I just…don’t really want to be alone right now.”
Yosuke felt a sobering stab of guilt slice through his stomach. Why was he trying to run out on his best friend? Souji had recently become homeless, among other things, and here he was behaving like a selfish prick.
“Yeah. Yeah, sure.” He returned deeper into the room and took a seat on the toilet lid. He hoped Souji would speak, because at the moment he suffered a loss for words.
Luckily Souji complied, but he was suddenly dead serious. “Can I ask you something? It’s kinda embarrassing, but it’s been bothering me. I think I just need to know for sure.”
Yosuke looked perturbed but assented.
Souji stared into his cup as he spoke. “I don’t think you remember, but something happened yesterday while you were out cold.” He glanced up and saw the uncomfortable confusion written on Yosuke’s face, suddenly not sure of how to enunciate his next question. His eyes returned to the foam clinging to the inner edges of the cup and he decided to just blurt it out. “When the Shadow touched you, you called out my name.”
Yosuke stiffened. “W-what do you mean?”
Souji ignored his question. “And then, there’s just the way you act around me sometimes.”
Yosuke already guessed at what Souji was aiming for, and his face heated up considerably.
“Is there…a chance that you like me?”
Oh no. Had he been that obvious? Yosuke felt panic licking at the edges of his senses and he couldn’t bring himself to face his friend anymore. It had grown unbearably hot in that suddenly-too-small room. Souji continued all the same, though Yosuke was only prepared for something other than what left his friend’s mouth next.
“Because I think I feel the same way about you.”
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