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[badbadbathhouse]

Why, hello there, kittens! I'm Kanji, esteemed reporter of all things fabulous and ever so delightfully naughty, and I'm here with a most special update for a fandom just beginning its long, hard... journey into adulthood~!

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The Twelve-Month Itch (3/4)

[anonymous]

“It’s not like I’m gonna think bad of you if you admitted it. It’s perfectly normal, you know.”

Maybe it was, but Kanji didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t even properly jerk off to his fantasies of Naoto; it felt like he was wronging her somehow. So he replaced her with someone faceless, and even that hadn’t been a completely successful effort, either: sometimes when he looked up it was Naoto staring back at him. (And once or twice it had had been Rise, though he’d decided to chalk that up to the disproportionate amount of time he was spending in her presence. Adolescence was truly confusing.)

He was so deep into his sad stab at self-analysis that he almost missed that Rise had gone still and quiet. “Kanji, why don’t you just tell her?”

“Tell her what?” Kanji said, falling back on reflex.

“Don’t give me that,” she snapped, suddenly and uncharacteristically fuming. “This is me you’re talking to. It’s been like almost a year since you’ve known each other. Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Don’t see no reason to,” he said, and it was the first time he more or less admitted to having any kind of more-than-platonic feelings for Naoto Shirogane. He decided to blame the heat for melting down his usual resistance.

Rise finally looked at him. On her face was an expression he hadn’t seen on her since their last foray into the TV world. “Kanji,” she said carefully, as though he were three years old, “Naoto-kun likes you.”

He decided that maybe the wind from the electric fan was garbling her words. “What?”

“You honestly didn’t think she attends your oven glove puppets class because she likes oven glove puppets, do you? And don’t give me that look,” she said, noting the crestfallen expression on his face. “I’m not saying it’s a bad class. It’s filled to capacity nowadays, isn’t it? But Naoto-kun’s not really the type of girl to fall for cutesy stuff-well, most cutesy stuff. She’s only there because she likes spending time with you. God knows why, considering you guys spend enough time together.”

Even if he could speak, Kanji doubted he could get in a single word edgewise; Rise had risen to her knees, hands waving like she was building up to some kind of rant.

“I mean, everyone else in our year’s too intimidated by the three of us-for different reasons-and Senpai’s gone and Chie-senpai and the others are seniors, so it’s no big surprise we ended up hanging out together. And don’t get me wrong, I have fun and you guys’re like the best reasons why I’m not rushing back to the idol thing, but it’s different for you and Naoto-kun. You guys’re like infants when it comes to interacting with people your own age, and neither of you like going out that much and being in big crowds, so you just do your own things together. Like every Thursday when I need to bring a magazine to read because the two of you want to do nothing but hole yourselves up in a room and just work silently on stuff-you on your dolls and her on her little detective trinkets. You guys exchange glue guns and work on that rusty old motorcycle we found and sew secret agent doodads into your clothes…I mean, sheesh, all that time together and neither one of you said something?”

It took several seconds of silence for Kanji to process that she’d stopped talking and was now waiting for him to reply. He scrubbed a hand down his face, then back up, combing back damp blond locks no longer held stiff by hair gel. “Naoto doesn’t…” He cleared his throat. “She doesn’t see me that way, all right? We’re just friends.”

Rise sat back on her haunches, her face inscrutable. “Okay, then. Do one thing for me next time you see her?”

“What?” Kanji asked, slightly dreading the answer.

“When she suggests that you work on the bike or accompany her to the bookstore or whatever, tell her no, you’ve got other things to do. Withme.” She pushed a finger against his mouth as he prepared to object. “That’s what she’s beginning to think, anyway. Just say it, and watch her. She probably won’t look disappointed-she’s too good for that-but if she touches her hat and pulls the lid down and hides her eyes for a second, you’ve got her.”