Coming to you live from a very steamy journal post~
Why, hello there, kittens! I'm Kanji, esteemed reporter of all things fabulous and ever so delightfully naughty, and I'm here with a most special update for a fandom just beginning its long, hard... journey into adulthood~!
SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI: PERSONA 4 KINK MEME
In this scintillating post of mine, you can comment anonymously with any pairing ( Read more... )
SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI: PERSONA 4 KINK MEME
In this scintillating post of mine, you can comment anonymously with any pairing ( Read more... )
Yosuke's chin is on Souji's shoulder and his chest rests lightly against his back when Souji speaks. He's too close; it's too tempting to dwell on how warm he is, how well he fits there, and how good it might feel to lean into the touch, to turn his head and make it something more. It's all of this that causes Souji to voice the half-formed thought that's been lurking in the back of his mind for a few weeks, and although he didn't know what words were going to come out of his mouth when it opened he knows they're the right ones.
It's a good decision; he needs a girlfriend.
Yosuke tenses and moves intercreatively as if he's looking at him, but Souji can't bring himself to check. "Oh?"
His breath is warm and the way it touches his neck feels deliberate. Souji wants to tell him to move, wants to keep him talking so he can feel it again. He turns a page in the manga they're sharing but he's not paying attention to it or anything besides Yosuke's reaction though he tries to convince himself not to. "Yeah, I… I don’t know, I think it might be a good idea."
One of Yosuke's arms is wrapped around his waist in a loose hold, put there, Souji tells himself, for convenience. Yosuke takes grabs his shirt and wrinkles the fabric around his fingers. "Who are you thinking of?"
"I don’t know."
Yosuke's laugh is quick, a little relieved and a little disbelieving. "Let me know when you figure it out, alright? I've got make sure she's good enough for my partner."
They go over different girls for nearly a week, and Yosuke finds a reason to say no to each one. Souji agrees with him too easily but revisits them nonetheless because there are only so many girls in Inaba who have shown interest in him. It should be fun, maybe, two guys talking about who's worth dating, but in reality it's not a good topic. It always the ruins the good mood they have going, puts an unacknowledged tension between them. Souji hates bringing it up but he does every time Yosuke gets too close or looks at him a certain way, every time he finds himself wanting to move closer or returning that look with one of his own.
Every day, Yosuke asks if he's sure, if he'd have time to devote with to a girl with all they have going on. Souji's answer is inevitably the same: "Maybe? I'm not sure." He doesn't think he'd like having one; the thought makes him nervous and unhappy, but he knows it's not about what he wants but what he needs. It'll be good for him, help get his mind off of things he can't have and shouldn't want.
By the end of the week, Souji's tired of talking about girls and going around in circles. He promises to help a man get a bottle of sake just to have something else to do, but he can't simply walk into the liquor store and ask for it. He gets the idea to check the location inside the TV and asks Yosuke to come with him.
"What about the others?" Yosuke asks, but it's just a formality. He's already eager to go.
"It'll just take a minute to check," Souji says. "We'll be fine alone."
Yosuke smiles at that and Souji thinks of Ai and Rise, of Yumi and Chie and Yukiko. He's got to pick one of them. He might have to get two (or three or four). He'd think less of anyone else for considering it but he needs a distraction, something that'll keep his eyes from wandering when Yosuke takes the lead in Junes, something to focus on when Yosuke falls into step with him after they go through the screen and their hands brush together.
"I hate it here," Yosuke says, staring down the quiet, shadowed street. He touches his headphones but doesn't put them on.
"I know," Souji says. "Sorry for bringing you, but you can just wait outside. You don't need to actually come in with me."
"Thanks, partner." Yosuke relaxes visibly. "It's just…"
"It's okay." Souji wants to say he understands but he can't because he's never had a Shadow, can't relate to being a place so full of bad memories. He thinks he might soon enough, though; he worries that he'll show up on the Midnight Channel and it'll be Yosuke's fault, his own fault, and he'll admit things he can never take back.
But a girlfriend will fix things. He's sure of it, he has to be.
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"What are you doing?"
He's not surprised to turn and see a Shadow. He's just surprised it's Yosuke's and not his.
He's just like Souji remembers as well, and Souji remembers him better than anything else. He's got the same school uniform, the same headphones, and the same way of standing as Yosuke, but his posture suggests a violence held barely in check.
Souji loosens his sword in its sheath but doesn't draw it.
"What are you doing?" the Shadow repeats and his voice is flat and accusing.
"Getting something for someone," Souji says.
The Shadow uncrosses his arms, scowls, and takes a step forward. Souji takes one back. "Don't talk to me like I'm stupid. You think I don't know what you're playing at?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Where'd this sudden desire for a girlfriend come from? You never talk about girls, you hate it when I do." Souji flinches. The Shadow catches it and smiles. "I can tell, you know. I do it sometimes to see the look on your face, the one you think you're hiding. I figure if I do it enough, you'll have to say something eventually. You can't just sit there and take it all the time."
"Talk about all the girls you want," Souji says and he can't stop backing away. "I don't care."
"Don't you? When'd you become such a bad liar, partner?" Souji hits something behind him; he can't retreat any farther. The Shadow moves closer. "What are you doing?"
Souji decides to go with the thrust because that works best against Shadows. "I'm trying to get away from you."
"By inviting me to your room all the time? By inviting me here, just the two of us, when you could have gone to anyone else, someone who didn't hate this place?" The Shadow's close enough to touch him now. "You're doing a piss poor job."
Souji thinks of drawing his sword, of calling Ai when he gets home and asking her out. "I'll do better."
"You won't; you can't. It'll tear you up to touch someone who isn't me." The Shadow put his hands on either side of him, leans close and drops his voice. Souji stares at a spot slightly to the left of him because the alternative is to look into the eyes locked on his face. "You think some giggly little bitch is going to replace me?"
"I'd never want to replace you."
"Then why the hell are you trying?"
Souji closes his eyes and take a deep breath. It doesn't help; the air smells like Yosuke. "It's not like that."
"Isn't it? You'd do what - each lunch with her? But you already do that with me. Take her to your room? I've been there a hundred times."
"We'd kiss," Souji says quickly because he wants the Shadow to stop talking, "and I'd hold her hand and when I took her to my room we'd do things I don't do with you, we'd-"
"No." Souji opens his eyes, finds the Shadow glaring at him. "You don’t want that and I won't let it happen."
"I want-"
"I know what you want," he says over him, cutting him off, "because it's the same damn thing I want, but I won't act without you saying anything and you won't say anything because… Why is that, leader? What's stopping you?"
Souji opens his mouth, closes it. He can't speak; there's a lump in his throat, a fear of rejection made solid. He thinks of his sword again but it's so heavy in his hand that he wants to drop it. His blood is pounding in his ears.
"Come on." The Shadow's mouth is on his own, every word brushing their lips together. "Tell me and I'll do it. Keep quiet and maybe I'll do it anyway, just take it, because I've thought about that too." His fingers are on Souji's belt. "I want-"
"Yosuke." Souji lets go of his sword. He can't seem to control his breathing. "Please."
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"Relax," he breathes and licks his neck, "I've done this before. Just on myself, of course, but it can't be too different, right? I was thinking of you when I did it so it's like I was practicing for this."
Souji can feel him smiling against his ear, risks a glance over and catches sight of it, small and victorious, under yellow eyes that are too bright.
"It was hard that first time but I thought, 'If you want to be with him you've got to get used to this.' And, well, if I couldn't get you then I could pretend, right? And I did; those weren't my fingers, they were yours, and you were telling me to relax, that it'd feel good. It didn't, not the first time, but I got better at it and every time I came I'd think of you. I can't get off to anything else now, just you." He's got two fingers in and he brushes against a spot that makes Souji jolt and bite his arm. He does it once more before he stops moving. "What do you think about?"
Souji's ears burn and his cock aches for release, the feeling of being touched from both front and back too much for him, but the Shadow won't start again until he answers. "Yosuke."
"Me? Every time?" Souji nods. "That's good; that's all I want you to think about." The Shadow gives him a long, slow stroke, and plays with the head, teases it until Souji can't help but pant and beg him to touch him. He's so wet he feels obscene, and he worries what Yosuke would think of him now when he's always tried so hard to stay composed. The thought pushes him closer to orgasm.
"Where am I, I wonder?" the Shadow says. He starts moving his hands again, fast, and Souji pushes back, fucks himself on those fingers like he's thought about doing a dozen times. "Don't you think it's odd I haven't come to see what's been keeping you? Maybe I know what's happening and I'm letting it. Maybe I'll walk in a second and see you and I'll pull out my cock and fuck you over this counter until you can't breathe, until you never think of another fucking person besides me. Would you like that?"
Souji manages a yes, though he doesn't know how.
"Tell me." There's a desperate edge to the Shadow's voice and he pushes in a third finger.
"Fuck me." Souji's face burns. He feels on the edge of unraveling and the rest of his words come out in a jumble as he begs Yosuke to fuck him, assures him that he doesn't want anyone else.
"Good." The Shadow's voice is shaky. "You're the only thing I want too. Now why the hell won't you see that?"
He pushes his fingers in deep and twists his wrist, and Souji comes hard, starts to say Yosuke's name and ends up gasping. He can't hold himself up after that. He falls to his knees and closes his eyes as he tries to catch his breath. He feels the Shadow moving away and there's the sound of something being set down in front of him. When he opens his eyes again, he's alone and the bottle of sake he came looking for is on the counter.
Outside, Yosuke is rocking on his heels and glancing around nervously. Souji tries to read his face for a sign but can't find anything. "Get what you needed?"
"Yeah." Souji raises the bottle so he can see and they head out. He doesn’t look back.
The next day, he invites Yosuke up to his room to watch TV. Yosuke sits too close to him and he's too warm and too comfortable and Souji wants too much of him. The marks hidden under his collar seem to burn.
"I'm not getting a girlfriend," he says.
"Oh." Yosuke doesn't ask why. He rests his head on Souji's shoulder and moves his hand until it's touching Souji's.
Souji gives in and leans back against him, grabs his hand and entwines their fingers. When he glances down he can make out a smile on Yosuke's face, small and victorious.
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First comment mine! Not OP, but dayum, excellent, Anon! Probably the best I've read among the Souji/Yosuke fills this month, IMO. The present-tense narration works well for the plot, and the dialog is spot on. Must. Memorize. Yes. ^o^
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