(Untitled)
Stars and garters above! Isn't it time for a new post? The last one is just so... big now, isn't it? I don't know if even I could take it... ♥
SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI: PERSONA 4 KINK MEME
PART FIVEAs all you charming little anonymous know, in this very post of mine, you can comment anonymously with any pairing from Persona 4 and whatever astoundingly ( Read more... )
SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI: PERSONA 4 KINK MEME
PART FIVEAs all you charming little anonymous know, in this very post of mine, you can comment anonymously with any pairing from Persona 4 and whatever astoundingly ( Read more... )
“Please pardon the intrusion,” Naoto said to no one in particular as she unlocked the door to Dojima’s house. Yosuke followed her shortly. Naoto called Yosuke earlier in the morning to tell him that she had the key to Souji’s house. Why her? Hell if he knew. Who knew what had been going through Souji’s head. Souji never told anyone.
He should’ve been the one to get the key, not Naoto. Not that Naoto wasn’t responsible and conscientious and… Fine, so she wouldn’t have lost the key. He could see why Souji trusted her. He just didn’t think that Souji should have trusted Naoto over him. Then again, if battle plans had been left up to Yosuke, it’d be just him and Souji, even though that was a dumb thing to do. There was strength in numbers, sure. But why was it that Yosuke only got Souji alone outside the TV once every two or three weeks?
“What are we looking for?” Yosuke said. He kicked his shoes off and stepped in. The house felt-damp, almost. As though it was holding something. No, more like it was waiting for something to hold. He felt like an intruder, even though he had been in Souji’s house two, five, ten times.
“I do not know,” Naoto said, audibly bristling. “He did not care to tell me before he jumped into the TV.”
“Great,” Yosuke said. “Maybe we’ll find where he keeps the porn.”
“I fail to see why that is-”
“Just trying to lighten the mood,” he said. “Geeze.”
Damn it. He shouldn’t have gotten mad at Naoto. They were both in the dark about what to look for-and, apparently, about Souji’s secret desire to launch himself into the TV to solve more mysteries. He wanted to apologize, but he didn’t want to admit why he’d have to apologize to begin with; and anyway, it’d just make things weird between the two of them.
“I’ll search his room,” Yosuke said. “You look around in the kitchen, I guess.”
Naoto gave him the stink-eye as he ascended the stairs. She was probably just bitter because she wanted to investigate the brand of Souji’s socks or something.
He had only been into Souji’s room-how many times had it been? Just once. He had been inside Souji’s house a few more times, but the room? Just that one time after school a few months ago. It looked the same as it had looked last time: neat and inoffensive, trinkets lined on the shelves-oh, look, he got a new robot thing. The calendar on the wall still displayed November. There weren’t any notes or fancy little weather symbols on the days, either. Maybe Souji kept a daily planner. There were no posters or pictures on the walls. Souji’s desk was bare and neat, not a paper out of place. It was so damn empty that Yosuke didn’t know how Souji could ever feel at home in it. Maybe some people liked the bare and empty look, but all those people had no imagination or creativity, and Souji had both. Or at least, Yosuke sure hoped he did. Some of his Personae bordered on the fucking surreal.
He invited Souji to his room once, but Souji smiled politely and said that he had other things to do. So either Yosuke was so obviously faggy that Souji could smell it off of him, or Souji didn’t give a damn or was too busy. Or maybe after Yosuke got Susano-O, Souji didn’t care anymore, didn’t care because Yosuke had things under control by then-except not really, because he kept thinking about Souji, couldn’t keep Souji out of his head, wanted more of Souji’s time except Souji kept spending time with everyone but him.
The last time he and Souji hung out had been at the hospital with Nanako, and that didn’t really count because it had been the two of them sitting in a room with his dying little cousin. Before that it had been a few minutes alone in Iwatodai, a fragmented conversation in the TV, a couple of sentences here and there.
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The sad fact was that going into Souji’s dungeon was going to be the closest Yosuke would get to him in two months. They were so far apart that sometimes Yosuke thought that he was clinging onto the label of “partners” because he knew what would happen if he let go of it: he’d be that kid again, with half his class’ phone number and no one to call. Sure, he had friends, but no one understood him-no, they could. He had Chie and Kanji and Naoto and even Teddie now. He never called them or talked to them much because he always thought about Souji, Souji, Souji. So maybe it was time to move on.
---
Naoto found bundled bills of yen beneath the kotatsu. The total amount was something like half a million yen. Totally crazy. The dude was insanely rich. Yosuke and Naoto took the money to Daidara, bought some extra armor and weapons just in case, and trucked over to the TV. Rise and Teddie were on a hard search for Souji, but had yet to find a thing.
“We should brainstorm,” Naoto said. “Collect clues and consolidate the information we have on Souji-san.”
Ordinarily Yosuke would have protested and said that they all knew Souji well enough to not subject themselves to the humiliation of admitting that they didn’t have a clue about him, but he had done too much thinking about Souji since they “finished” with the TV to put up much of a fight. There was too much that they didn’t know. Naoto might be okay with that, but she had only known Souji for a few months. Not that Yosuke had known Souji for much longer-and it wasn’t like those extra few months had done Yosuke much good, either.
Rise and Teddie were taking breaks, drinking soda and juice and talking quietly with Kanji and Naoto. Chie and Yukiko were going through their armors and weapons. They directed their complaints not at Naoto, who insisted on caution, but on Yosuke, who knew that they had too many Shinra Robes and 1000-Stud Coats. It wasn’t his fault that Naoto used her fancy logic on him. What was he supposed to say, my flimsy intuition outweighs your detective fancy pants? He might as well have said that he could speak French. Which he could. Just as long as he knew the lyrics.
“Okay, guys,” he said when Rise and Teddie were ready again. “So what do we know?”
“He’s our senpai,” Kanji said, scratching his neck.
“He’s a good listener,” Yukiko said, rather earnestly. “He always knows the right thing to say.”
“Yeah, okay, we all know that,” Yosuke said. “But-I don’t know. Doesn’t he have some kind of complex?”
They all looked at one another a bit accusatorily. What do you mean, complex, they all seemed to be saying to one another. I didn’t have one. Nope.
“Sensei’s too cool for a complex,” Teddie said.
“Souji-san is rather opaque on his own psychological profile,” Naoto said with a sigh. “It was always difficult to get him to talk about himself. He seemed happiest when listening to others.”
“He really liked to talk,” Chie said. “I mean, we’d train together all the time, but mostly he’d stand there and point things out. Not that he was bad at it, but…”
“I don’t know if your kind of training is the kind that anyone can keep up with, anyway,” Yosuke said.
“Hey!”
“He really cares about Nanako-chan,” Yukiko said before Chie could yell at Yosuke some more. Thank god for Yukiko. “He likes children.”
“No he doesn’t,” Chie said. “He told me he doesn’t like kids.”
“But he works at that daycare and tutors that Nakajima kid,” Yosuke said. “I’m going to have to side with Yukiko on this one.”
“Can’t see senpai hating anyone,” Kanji said. “He’s too cool to do that kind of shit.”
“No, I’m sure he said that,” Chie said. But she looked faintly troubled, as though she wasn’t sure anymore. “Okay… maybe I guessed wrong on that one. He’s an only child, right?”
“I think so,” Rise said. “Senpai never mentioned any siblings to me.”
“That doesn’t mean that he is an only child,” Naoto said.
“Well, we’re all only children, right?” Chie said. An unnatural pause fell over the group as they all looked at one another. “… Right?”
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“I have an older brother,” Yukiko said. Chie’s eyes nearly bugged straight out of their sockets. “He’s a lot older than me, and he was never very interested in the inn,” she said quickly. “A few years ago he had a falling out with my parents. I don’t think he’s been home since.”
How did a person not think that her brother hadn’t been home in years? Then again, it was Yukiko. She’d never say something like that outright.
“I’m sorry,” Yukiko said at the collective silence. “My parents don’t like to talk about him.”
“Hey, it’s cool,” Yosuke said. “We’re just glad you told us.”
An older brother, huh. No wonder she had that weird prince complex. And all that time, he had thought that she was kind of-well, Chie would kick him if he said it out loud. And Yukiko would hammer him in the face. Or maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe girls were better at dealing with people calling them homos. And, well, those two always seemed kind of…
“I have a sister,” Rise said. “She just turned four the week before. I never saw much of her because of the idol thing. I try not to mention her in interviews because my parents don’t want her to go into the business.”
“I never knew,” Chie said. It mostly seemed directed at Yukiko, who flinched away from Chie, the barest fraction of an inch. “I guess I just assumed…”
There weren’t any pictures of anyone in Souji’s room. Not of his parents, not of his friends, not even of them.
When Yosuke thought about it, he didn’t have a single picture of Souji, either: not on his phone or camera or anything.
“W-well,” Chie said, “what difference does it make if he has a brother or sister?”
“I dunno, Chie-senpai,” Kanji said. “I think it’d matter.”
There was another dull, hollow dip in the conversation.
“Okay, time to move onto the next topic,” Yosuke said before the atmosphere would get even worse. “Anyone got anything?”
“Lunch!” Teddie said. “I always wanted to get a homemade lunch from sensei.”
“Lunch, lunch, lunch,” Chie said, bobbing he head each time she said the word. “Hmm… I guess that means he likes to take care of people?”
Everyone nodded. Yosuke sighed inwardly. Great. At least they got one thing down. Attributes of Souji Seta, as compiled by his friends: motherly.
“If I do say so myself, he is an excellent cook,” Naoto said. “If I may make a hypothesis, I believe that he likes to be the best in everything that he does. Perhaps that is why he does not like to train with Chie. Martial arts are something that he has never dared to try before.”
“He can punch people just fine,” Yosuke said. His jaw smarted just thinking about it. “I don’t think he had a complex like that at all.”
“I think that’s a little out there,” Rise said. “You’re just jealous, aren’t you, Naoto-kun?”
“Oh, come on, guys, this isn’t getting anywhere!” said Yosuke. “This can’t be all we know.”
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Damn it, Chie, why did she have to go and say that?
“It’s too late to think in those terms,” Naoto said. “Perhaps now would be a prudent time to turn our attention to his Shadow. The video might provide us with a clue. It seemed as though he was in a… dark box of some kind.”
“There was a throne,” Yukiko said. “I couldn’t tell what he was wearing. All I could see was his face. And all he said was, ‘Just trying won’t be good enough to reach me.’”
‘Just trying won’t be good enough?’ What a jerk. What a-wait.
“Hold up,” Yosuke said. “That’s not what he said. He said, ‘If you want to talk, you know how to find me.’” He looked at the others for confirmation, but judging by the looks on their faces, none of them had heard what he had. Maybe-maybe none of them had heard the same thing at all. Yosuke’s stomach slowly flipped inside him. So none of them really knew him. And Souji wasn’t who they thought he was. Except instead of finding out his true self, all they seemed to do was walk straight into a labyrinth.
Their circle had broken. Now they were all standing in their old corners by themselves. Kanzeon had placed her ring around Rise again, and Teddie was sniffing around the stage. Souji had his own corner, all the way on the far corner, where he’d stare out at the fog for minutes, sometimes for more than an hour. Yosuke always wondered what he was looking at, because he knew that he couldn’t see a thing out there. Maybe Souji hadn’t been looking at anything. Maybe… maybe everything had been a lie.
“Hey, guys,” Rise said. “I think I’ve found it.”
Yosuke looked to Naoto, who nodded; then to Chie, who also nodded. Kanji cracked his knuckles. Then he looked to Souji’s corner: empty and bare, nothing but fog rolling around in the air, going this way and that.
“Yeah,” Yosuke said. “Let’s do this.”
((My apologies for the delay. I was moving back into the dorms, preparing for classes, and in general making a mess of things. Ah, dorm shades. Why don't they ever roll up when you want them to?
captcha says: onlyperm deferred.))
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I also love your take on Souji. I'm finding myself as curious about what he really is like as the IT is! I hope your next update comes quickly, although boy do I know what the start of the new semester is like. <3
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The entrance to the dungeon was stone or metal or glass. It did not reflect the bleak white fluorescent light attached to the walls. The lights were not clear and steady, but flickered from bright to dim with a sick blue-green tinge all the while. The doors were already open. As for the dungeon itself, it only seemed to go up. A long, tall staircase that went up for stories and stories, and at the top, a long, black box where Souji-no, where Souji’s Shadow would be waiting.
“I sense a strong presence at the top,” Rise said. “And there don’t seem to be any Shadows inside aside from senpai’s.”
“Do you know if Souji’s in there?” said Yosuke.
“I don’t know, senpai,” Rise said sweetly. “He could have gotten up and left, just like the rest of us did.”
“Wh-wh-you-”
“Why don’t we enter the dungeon?” Yukiko said. “We all seem to be a little on edge right now. Maybe a bit of exercise will clear our heads.”
“Yeah, a bit of ‘exercise,’” Yosuke said.
“Don’t talk to Yukiko like that!” Chie said.
“Yeah, senpai,” Kanji said. “Just ‘cause you’re all antsy doesn’t mean you gotta pick on the girls.”
“I’m not picking on them, you-” Yosuke stopped himself just in time. No. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say it because he was afraid someone would look at him and say, Well, what about you, Hanamura? You and your big gay crush on Seta. But Kanji cracked his knuckles anyway and stood up a little taller. Yeah, Kanji knew. He knew what Yosuke had almost said.
“In any case,” Naoto said, “I believe we should proceed swiftly. The longer senpai is in the dungeon, the more stress will be put on his body. I advise swift and immediate action.” She looked into the open doors, and nodded her head. She adjusted her glasses, checked her gun, and said, “I am going.”
“Wait for me, Nao-chan!” Teddie said. “We’re going to rescue sensei!”
“Hey!” Damn it. He was Souji’s best friend. He was the one who needed Souji.
But was it just him? Everyone else had bonds with Souji, too. Bonds that they cherished and valued. Without Souji there as a buffer, they were all falling apart, yelling at each other and disagreeing about everything.
So who else in this group had fallen in love with Souji? Rise liked him. Kanji-was Kanji. Teddie, if he even knew what love was, might have. Chie, maybe. Yukiko, definitely. Naoto-hell no. Naoto wouldn’t fall in love with anyone. But for Souji, she might make an exception.
So that was all of them, then. Each and every single one of them.
“Senpai, are you coming with us?” Rise said.
Damn it. He should have been the only one. Why did they have to go and fall in love with Souji, too? Or maybe they just liked him without loving him, the way Rise did. Because Rise couldn’t be serious. She wasn’t serious about any-
‘Stop it.’
He wasn’t that guy who talked shit about his friends. And besides, Souji was a good guy. It wasn’t like Souji shimmied his butt around and made them all fall in love.
“I’m coming,” said Yosuke. He took a step into the black stairwell. The second his second heel cleared the threshold, the door slammed shut. “What the hell!” he yelped. There were no handles or levers. He slammed his body into the door, but bounced off and fell into Kanji, who jumped half a foot in the air and landed on Naoto’s foot.
“The-the door’s locked behind us!” Rise said. “I don’t think there’s a way for us to open it now-”
“We noticed,” Yosuke said, rubbing his shoulder. Definitely noticed.
Kanji gave the doors a good shake. “Rock solid,” he said. “Chie-senpai, you think you can punt this open?”
“You talk about punting it open, but…” Chie rubbed her nose. “That only works on downed Shadows…”
“So we’re stuck?!” Teddie said.
“… It would seem so,” said Naoto. “Souji-san did not leave us any Goho-Ms. And Teddie doesn’t know Traesto anymore.”
In other words: they couldn’t leave.
Yosuke looked up the stairs, which suddenly seemed ten times longer than they had before.
Good grief, Souji. What kind of message was that guy trying to send?
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“… Stop…”
“Well? What… Come on, boy… tell me your name-”
All dungeons were the same in one respect: they hated humans. Or at least, they hated having humans in them. Funny, because all dungeons were made from human minds, fueled by human emotions, made from their thoughts and dreams and subconscious. The dungeons rejected intruders, typically by trying to chase them out with Shadows or by barring their passage with trick doors, zigzag pathways, and floors that teleported them this way and that way. But there was another weight, too: the heavy, dark chains of being inside someone else’s head. A psychic kind of pressure. The more secrets there were, the worse it felt. More than the fog or the fighting, it was that awful feeling that drained Yosuke’s energy the fastest. Even without any Shadows, Souji’s dungeon was heavy: the bad lighting, the black walls and ceiling and floor, the gloomy silence they walked in and through. It all made the physical exertion worse.
“Senpai…” Rise said, just underneath her breath. According to her, they were almost a fifth of the way, height-wise. “I don’t really get what it means, but it seems like he’s been in a lot of pain.”
“… Yeah,” Yosuke said.
He never knew. All this time, he just thought Souji’s head was a big empty place. And Souji never talked much about himself, either. Maybe this was why.
Rise smiled at him, quick and gentle. “That’s why we all have to work hard,” she said. “To make things better again.”
Thank god they were friends. Yosuke nodded, both to himself and to her. “Yeah,” he said. “Thanks.”
The light flickered on, and then off. This time they stayed that way. Yosuke opened his mouth, but the darkness rushed in on him, and on dumb instinct he hit the ground. Holy shit. Holy shit, it felt like he had just dodged a killing blow. He hadn’t even heard it coming, but there was a big whoosh of air right over the spot where his head had been.
“Kanji?” he called out. “Chie? Rise-chan? Ted?”
Dead quiet. He reached out to where he had seen Rise, but there wasn’t a thing there except a wall.
A wall. A wall…? He had been standing in the middle of the stairway-but now the ground before him was completely flat and-
Someone up ahead screamed, loud and pained, that vanished into a bloody gargle. He couldn’t tell who it was, but hell if he’d let any of the girls or Teddie get hurt-and it was definitely a girl. Damn it! What was with this place? He ran one, then two, then three steps, but then stopped. Shit. He couldn’t tell where he was going. He couldn’t even see a thing, nothing but darkness. And now he was too afraid to go forward.
Footsteps from behind him. He spun around and screamed, “Who’s there?!”
No answer. Yosuke drew his knives and spun them. Had to be ready. He couldn’t help whoever it was if he was knocked down. Whatever was ahead didn’t feel like a Shadow-at least, it didn’t feel like the kind of Shadows he fought. And it didn’t feel like a human Shadow, either. But it was always hard to tell. Some Shadows could sneak up behind them so easily…
“I know you’re there,” Yosuke said. “I heard you coming, damn it! Show yourself!”
He couldn’t freak out. He had to calm down. He had to keep a cool head. What would Souji tell him? He’d say to keep calm. Evaluate his options, keep a cool head, keep calm, don’t run into action-he bet that had been Chie, because she always ran into action-
“Where are you?” he shouted. “Damn it, turn on the lights, you coward!”
“What. You found what you were looking for, didn’t you?”
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“… Hey,” Yosuke said. “Who was that earlier…?”
“Who knows,” said the Shadow. “I don’t think it matters now.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”
“Come on, Yosuke. Partner.” The Shadow smiled-so similar to Souji’s smile, but nowhere near it. “You tell me what you think it means.”
It doesn’t matter now. It didn’t matter now. It didn’t-
“No way,” Yosuke said. “You didn’t…”
“That’s right,” the Shadow said ruefully. “I couldn’t, in the end. Maybe she’ll bleed out soon enough. I don’t know. It’s all up to you, partner.”
“Up to… me?” Yosuke’s heart skipped a beat. What did that mean? What could it mean?
“I can take you to him,” said the Shadow. “You came for me, after all. That should be… rewarded.”
“Rewarded?” Damn it. He had to stop parroting this thing! “What did she do?” Yosuke said. No, that wasn’t it. “What did you tell her?”
“I gave her the same choice I’m giving you,” said the Shadow. “She made the wrong decision.”
“Wh-so you-what the fuck is wrong with you?! You’re not-” Yosuke charged at the Shadow, knife at the ready to slash, but the lights went off and he cut nothing but air. The Shadow’s laughter, low and menacing, echoed throughout the chamber. No way. This wasn’t Souji, this wasn’t Souji, this wasn’t-
“I guess you didn’t love me as much as you thought you did!” the Shadow said. “After all that time, you pick her over me, huh? How do you think that makes him feel?”
“Shut up!” Yosuke said. “You’re not him! You’re not him! You’re not-”
The darkness pressed in again, reaching into his lungs and yanking out his breath. By the time he recovered the lights were back on and he was on the endless staircase again. His ribs felt as though they were trying to fold in on themselves. He took a steadying breath and groped the wall for a railing. There wasn’t a railing, but it was worth trying, at least. He pulled himself up to his feet and looked around. Below were the others, some further down than others. Kanji was the first one back on his feet. Yosuke leapt down the stairs, helping Teddie back onto his feet.
“You okay, Ted?” he said.
“Waaah…”
“Yeah, I thought so,” Yosuke said.
“What the hell was that?” Kanji said.
“I don’t know!” Yosuke said. “I was put in-this dark room and I heard someone scream…”
Naoto was brushing herself off now. Chie looked all right, too. So that left Yukiko and Rise, crouched almost a full flight below where the outage had taken place. Chie was at Yukiko’s side immediately. Yosuke couldn’t hear the words, but Chie made a lot of noise, and then swore-he didn’t need to hear what she was saying. That kind of anger didn’t need translation.
“What?” Yosuke said, pushing his way past Kanji. “Who is it?”
Yukiko looked up. She looked shaken up, but okay. The sleeves of her sweater were a bit singed. Coating the stairs was a long stream of dark red. Rise looked up at Yosuke with a little smile.
“I’m okay,” she said. “Yukiko-senpai patched me up quickly. Just need a moment to catch my breath, that’s all.”
Yosuke couldn’t say anything. He knew that Kanji and Naoto were making a fuss, but he couldn’t think. He couldn’t think. All he could see was the slash in Rise’s uniform, the red color-it was like someone tore out his headphones halfway through a song. Souji wouldn’t do that. His Souji wouldn’t do that.
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“What did he say to you?” Yosuke said.
Rise for a moment looked surprised. Then she smiled painfully again and said, “He said that if I loved him than I’d follow him. But I knew it’d be stupid if I did, so I said no. And then…”
Naoto shushed Rise with a hand on her shoulder. “We must proceed carefully,” she said. “It seems as though the blackout separated us.”
“Did you see him?” said Chie.
“No,” Naoto said. “I presume that Rise-san was the only one he visited.”
“He saw me,” Yosuke said. “He said-he said that I had found what I was looking for, so I should-” He broke off. “Damn it…” If he had moved faster or acted faster, then… If only they had known-but all his thoughts broke off, snapped off by the rage in him. No, not rage. Panic.
Because this Shadow was smart. Because this Shadow knew where they were weakest. Because this Shadow was Souji’s.
Yosuke looked down at the blood on the stairs, and felt sick. No way. That couldn’t be Souji. Souji didn’t do this kind of thing to his friends. Souji would have the self-control to not have a Shadow. Souji-
“We have to keep going, don’t we?” Yukiko said. She clutched her fan to her chest.
“Yeah,” Kanji said. Naoto was helping Rise get onto his back. “Can’t do shit unless we get to the portal at the top.”
Her jaw clenched tight. He expected her to say something encouraging, but instead she snapped her fan open. Her eyes glinted with a hard light, unafraid-or too angry to be afraid. “Good. Let’s keep going, everyone.”
As they went up, Yosuke heard the sound of a boy crying. He looked around but saw no one. His skin crawled. Just his imagination. Just his imagination. Just his…
“What? You’re upset? So sad, so sad. I’m so sad for you, little boy. You’re no good. You’re a bad boy. We’ll find something to replace you. Someone won’t salt the eggs-”
“No… no… stop it…”
“Ha… haha…”
Maybe it was just his imagination, but the walls seemed to be closing in on them the higher they went.
((what is a butgibet, captcha?))
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The team dynamics, the strain on all of them, your Yosuke, my God. I really don't think it can be said enough how well you write him. Every thought, every word, I believe it all and you make it seem effortless. When Souji's Shadow confronted him alone, my heart actually felt like it was twisting!
But I think the most disconcerting aspect of all of this are those italicized sections. I know the nature of the prompt is that things are never explained and when they move on from this, they pretend things are alright, but the things you're alluding to just make me want nothing more than for Yosuke to not rest until he gets some answers. Still, I trust you, Anon. You very clearly know what you're doing and I will continue to wait selfishly for the next update. Just wonderful, amazing, stuff. <3 <3 <3
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“Kanji-kun, you can put me down,” Rise said. “I feel good enough to walk again-”
“Hell no,” Kanji said. “You ain’t getting down until we’re at the top.”
“Kanji-kun, you idiot!” Rise slapped his shoulder.
“The hell? I’m trying to help you, damn it!” Kanji yelped.
They were trying to piece together what had happened when the lights went out, but the voices kept-
“I can make them like you again. But that won’t make it better. Come on, put on a show for me. Come on, come on, let’s play a game together-”
-butting in. What the hell did it even mean? None of it made sense, none of it. And Souji had never mentioned a thing about it. It wasn’t anyone from Inaba-at least, Yosuke hoped it wasn’t anyone from Inaba. He didn’t know. Souji never talked about it. And if only Souji had talked about it, then they wouldn’t-or would they-
“My name is Souji. My name is-my name is-”
From the sound of it, when the lights went off they were all taken away to their own separate little rooms. Kanji, Teddie, Yukiko, Naoto, and Chie had just heard the sound of footsteps walking past them, maybe a long, low laugh and a few whispered words. None of them were willing to repeat what the Shadow had said. Yosuke understood. The Shadow knew exactly what to say to keep them off-balance. Souji always knew exactly what to say.
Rise said that she could sense certain points where things were weird, just like they got weird when they were a fifth of the way up. They were almost at the next point, Rise said. Yosuke could tell. The voices were getting louder and louder, pushing down on them. But it was so hard to tell which one was Souji. They both sounded so much like him-
“I know. We’ll need a way to tell each other apart, you and I. You can be Sou-chan. I’ll be… myself, of course. Haha…”
Sou-chan. Yosuke felt like throwing up a little at that.
The lights flickered, went off, and then came back on. They all let out a deep breath when they were still in the same place.
Then everything went dark again. Yosuke reached for his knives, but the Shadow didn’t even give him that chance. The Shadow was on top of him, pinning his arms down and-fuck, no, it was trying to bite him-Yosuke kicked the Shadow off of him, and the Shadow rolled away, laughing all the while. The lights came back on, and there they were again in that big, fucking black room, the Shadow just to the side.
“Where are the others?” Yosuke said.
“It doesn’t matter,” said the Shadow. “I don’t care about them. This is about us. We didn’t finish our conversation from last time.”
“Fuck you!” Yosuke shouted. He dove at the Shadow, but the Shadow stepped to the side, and gave Yosuke a kick to the back. Yosuke couldn’t even stand up anymore, never mind fight. It was like having someone throw a meteor into his spine. Everywhere around the place where he got kicked felt like it was breaking apart. Shit, he was going to die. The Shadow was going to take his big sword and skewer him. Shit, this wasn’t the way he wanted to go, no, no-
“I care about you,” the Shadow said, rolling Yosuke over. His sword was sheathed and eyes deathly serious. That was a good sign, right? Right-
“You don’t,” Yosuke choked out. “You don’t. You don’t mean it.”
“I do,” the Shadow said. “I like you.”
“You say that to everyone,” Yosuke said. “You don’t give a shit about me! You-you don’t care about… If you cared about me, you would have-you…!”
The Shadow smiled. It was so convincing. It was so much like Souji that Yosuke wanted to wrap his arms around the Shadow’s neck, kiss the hell out of him. But it wasn’t Souji, it wasn’t. It couldn’t be.
“Stop it,” Yosuke said. “Please… stop it…”
The Shadow smiled again, razor sharp. “That’s the kind of thing I like to hear,” the Shadow said. “You know what I like?”
Damn it, that thing just didn’t shut up.
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“I don’t need answers from you,” Yosuke said, his voice thick and choked. “I’ll get them from Souji.”
“He won’t tell you anything,” said the Shadow. The Shadow bent down, and grabbed Yosuke by hair. “And you wouldn’t like him anymore if he did. Someone as disgusting as him… How much do you know about him, anyway? What’s his favorite color? His favorite food? Do you even know what city he lived in before he came here?”
The air smelled funny. It smelled like-ozone. Lightning. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, he was going to die. He was going to die.
“You know,” said the Shadow quietly, “this is your punishment for choosing to go after her and not us.”
And then he plunged the sword straight into Yosuke.
---
When he came to, Teddie was bent over him. Everyone was staring over him. He tried to smile. It felt like someone had hit him with a truck.
“Hi,” he said.
“You idiot!” Chie’s leg pulled back, almost as though she was getting ready to kick him in the head; then, thankfully for them both, she bent down and helped him up. “You jinxed yourself,” she said. “When you said that we were in the all-clear.”
Yosuke tried to smile. Then he said, “Well? Who did he see this time?”
“It was me,” Naoto said. Her lips were white and skin strangely pasty. “It was just as you said. He presented me with the choice of rescuing a critically injured teammate and having the opportunity to see Souji-san directly. I couldn’t… I couldn’t make that decision.”
So he hadn’t been anything special at all. The Shadow made everyone do it. Yosuke had just been the dumb, helpless girl this time. And he bet that Shadow said the same thing as he had said to Yosuke. Oh, Naoto-kun, it’s all up to you, you’re the only one who can do this, I’ll reward you by sticking my dick up your twat-
“He’ll be after you next,” Chie said. “That bastard…”
“It isn’t really Souji-senpai,” Rise said. “It’s his Shadow. All Shadows do this to people.”
“It is Souji-kun,” Yukiko said. “Or at least… it’s a part of us. It’s his Shadow.”
Yosuke grunted. Standing up was hard work. His stomach throbbed painfully. He could barely feel his feet on the ground, never mind anything below his waist. Chie adjusted her grip on Yosuke’s arm and said, “There has to be a way to stop this from happening. I can understand the Shadow getting Rise-chan, but you, too?”
“Fuck you,” Yosuke grunted.
“I’m just saying-”
“He was too strong,” Yosuke said. “He was-he just-I couldn’t…” He blinked fast before he could get all weepy. “Damn it.”
“It’s senpai,” Kanji said. “I dunno… Kinda hard to decide.”
“I’d beat him up,” Chie said. “I’d beat him up and then beat him up again and once he’s dead, bring him back to life so I could kill him again for doing this to us.”
“Y-yeah!” Kanji said. “You say it, senpai!”
Hey, wait a minute. “Weren’t you just saying a second ago that-” Chie stepped on Yosuke’s foot. “Ow!”
“We should continue,” Naoto said. She still looked a little shaky. “As we go up, we should think of-”
“I’ll do it… I’ll do it… Souji-”
“God, Sou-chan, you're amazing. Come on, Sou-chan, come here. Come here, come here… Yeah, that’s right…”
“Don’t hate me, don’t hate me… Please, don’t hate me… Souji, please… please-”
Holy shit. What had that been? For a moment Yosuke had thought it had been-it had been him, but it wasn’t him, it was someone else. Yosuke automatically looked to the others. Either they were all just as good actors as he was, or they were just as clueless as he was.
Good. Because he didn’t want to imagine any of them saying that to Souji-
“… A plan,” Naoto finished. But she looked even more rattled than before.
The boy was crying again. And now he didn’t seem nearly as old.
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