What I Learned at Springfield College
I found out earlier on today that Ben Cannon was accepted into Springfield College. I knew he would get in, yet I am very proud of him nonetheless. I NEVER read any Leader's live journals (I don't want those lil' bastards reading about what I do in my livejouranl, and I respect their privacy and their right to be teens, so I never read theirs'. I had a feeling that today, Ben was going to write about his recent acceptance to Springfield College and I just wanted to post him a congradulatory comment. I wrote him 20 helpful tips I learned from my experiences at Springfield College that he might find helpful. It (leaving the following 20 helpful hints) probably wasn't the most professional thing of me to do, but it seemed to me like the right thing to do. I thought Ben would get a kick out of it. I hope my advice helps him. here's some of the things I learned at good ol' SC:
1) Live in Gulick Hall (all the Freshamn live there...there is no excitment like a building full of 3,000 18 year olds that are on their own for the first time)
2) Make friends with someone who has a car
3) Don't cross the tracks by Cheeney Hall
4) Winn Liquors has 40ozs for $1.50 (when you turn 21 of course)
5) When you turn 21 go to Neismiths, Champions, and Fat Cats
6) Don't give anyone's room a tidal wave
7) Don't piss in anyone's Scope
8) Don't overinduldge on Mama Mias. As soon as I found out that they delivered pizza, subs, and wings to my door for free, I was done!
9) Don't trust a woman with a pierced labia
10) Try to avoid classes before noon
11) When they make you take "Fit for Life" (aka Fit for Shit) don't take Relaxation (its actually pretty hard...its more like Biology)
12) Don't try an college experimental drugs. However, if you do, dont do it in the dorms...they're wicked strict about that stuff
13) Its a stupid idea to smuggle any more than 30 beers past the sign in desk
14) Play UFO
15) Know when to screw off and when to be serious
16) Beer dye and ass hole are the best games ever! (But if the RA catches you, your screwed!)
17) Chances are, you will have an RA that is female and ugly...find her and get on her good side from day 1 (you never know when you will need her on your side)
18) You dont have to pay for the electric bill, so make sure you leave your computer on 24/7 and screw those bastards more than they screw you with their overpriced tuiton!
19) I have to admit...sometimes the saying "Springfield College, where men are men and the woman are too"...well...sometimes there is actually a bit of truth to that
20) Enjoy every moment you can, and never take college for granted...life is all downhill after that :)
*When you meet Dr Fisher, do NOT tell him you know me :)
*If I am allowed back into the Living Center on your SENIOR YEAR, I might just come by and take you to Mardi Gras :)
1) Live in Gulick Hall (all the Freshamn live there...there is no excitment like a building full of 3,000 18 year olds that are on their own for the first time)
2) Make friends with someone who has a car
3) Don't cross the tracks by Cheeney Hall
4) Winn Liquors has 40ozs for $1.50 (when you turn 21 of course)
5) When you turn 21 go to Neismiths, Champions, and Fat Cats
6) Don't give anyone's room a tidal wave
7) Don't piss in anyone's Scope
8) Don't overinduldge on Mama Mias. As soon as I found out that they delivered pizza, subs, and wings to my door for free, I was done!
9) Don't trust a woman with a pierced labia
10) Try to avoid classes before noon
11) When they make you take "Fit for Life" (aka Fit for Shit) don't take Relaxation (its actually pretty hard...its more like Biology)
12) Don't try an college experimental drugs. However, if you do, dont do it in the dorms...they're wicked strict about that stuff
13) Its a stupid idea to smuggle any more than 30 beers past the sign in desk
14) Play UFO
15) Know when to screw off and when to be serious
16) Beer dye and ass hole are the best games ever! (But if the RA catches you, your screwed!)
17) Chances are, you will have an RA that is female and ugly...find her and get on her good side from day 1 (you never know when you will need her on your side)
18) You dont have to pay for the electric bill, so make sure you leave your computer on 24/7 and screw those bastards more than they screw you with their overpriced tuiton!
19) I have to admit...sometimes the saying "Springfield College, where men are men and the woman are too"...well...sometimes there is actually a bit of truth to that
20) Enjoy every moment you can, and never take college for granted...life is all downhill after that :)
*When you meet Dr Fisher, do NOT tell him you know me :)
*If I am allowed back into the Living Center on your SENIOR YEAR, I might just come by and take you to Mardi Gras :)