yellow poweranger
i think that much of the pleasure which i derive from listening to music is a result of nostalgia. it just makes me emotional, the past feelings with which i associate different songs and such. but such feelings are far too distant now. the hurricane and the drastic and abrupt changes which followed it have too greatly distanced myself from them. i also feel incapable of appreciating the present. even when i used to be sad i was able to find some solace in something. but now i can't. when i am in a low mood nowadays, there exists no activity, no past time or otherwise enjoyable aspect of my life which can uplift me. i have lost the ability to objectify my displeasure with life. maybe i'm just generally more sad nowadays.
evan is here. we smoked a clove and did the buzzy thing which reminds me so much of riding the tilt-a-whirl at city park. clearly, as he makes shadow puppets with his fingers, evan is experiencing a different sensation. he stopped now. he speaks of cat and other things like his parents. the tilt-a-whirl, as i recall, was nauseating. i now feel as if i am getting off of it.
how i wish i could be more than a mere bystander in my own memories. they are all locked up in my head and their lasting effects have worn off unexpectedly. i am ambivolent towards them, and they feel cold to me. i remember thinking, in like 7th fucking grade, that if i ever stopped being enamored with my past, i would go insane. i guess this is it.
katrina, you african american yellow poweranger, trevor and giepy gravely underestimated you.
evan is here. we smoked a clove and did the buzzy thing which reminds me so much of riding the tilt-a-whirl at city park. clearly, as he makes shadow puppets with his fingers, evan is experiencing a different sensation. he stopped now. he speaks of cat and other things like his parents. the tilt-a-whirl, as i recall, was nauseating. i now feel as if i am getting off of it.
how i wish i could be more than a mere bystander in my own memories. they are all locked up in my head and their lasting effects have worn off unexpectedly. i am ambivolent towards them, and they feel cold to me. i remember thinking, in like 7th fucking grade, that if i ever stopped being enamored with my past, i would go insane. i guess this is it.
katrina, you african american yellow poweranger, trevor and giepy gravely underestimated you.