(no subject)
I'm the guidon bearer for my new company. I kind of got "hey you'd" into it, the old one is getting out of the Army, and they asked for a new guy to do it. Traditionally some E-2 or lower ranking person is supposed to do it, so I did it for a few days, and then they found a private to replace me. But then he sucked, and got fired, and now I'm on it for good. That's what you get for knowing your shit. Anyways, whenever we go on company runs, I have to be in the front, saluting with the guidon as every formation passes, raising that bitch up during cadences, doing circles around the formation, and doing frontflips and shit while running. Pretty intense. Almost as intense as a deployment to Qatar without a firearm. Almost. Fuck that motherfucker. Anyways, I ended up running my ass off this morning. But it felt good. Brought me back to the days in high school where I ran all the time. And 1SG and one of the LT's told me I did real good. So that was nice.
The other day I read my LJ from the very first entry. First of all, that shit was really annoying. I'm no professor, but I didn't use any sort of capitalization or spelling, nothing of the sort. I annoyed myself. Haha. And it made me realized I changed a bit in these last 3 or 4 years. I don't know exactly how to explain it though. Linds tells me I'm more proactive now, more of a "go-getter". That's true, but that's not what I'm trying to get at. I guess I'm more of a realist now. You just realize what actually matters, and how stupid things were that you used to be all hung up on. I was dumb. But I'm smart now. Who knows. Maybe 3 years from now, I'll be like: "Wow. I was such a dumbass!"
Dude. End women's sufferage! Hilarious!
So the main event:
Last night I was talking to Karissa online. We talked for about 3 hours straight. She's fuckin awesome. Too bad she's way out of my league. Haha. So anyways, we were just bullshitting, trading stories and stuff. Which incidentally inspired me to get on LJ, and record some of the awesome stories I've lived through. So here goes, in no particular order:
Nikki Kap:
So I went to Catholic school as a little kid. In 6th grade, I ended up going to the public schools. So there I was, brand new, trying to make friends. This kid Owen James dared me to put these thumbtacks on this girl Nikki Kaprisak's chair while she was talking to the teacher, Mrs. Remington. Of course I did, trying to impress everyone. So this poor girl sits down, and jumps right back up, crying, rubbing her ass. She gets sent to the nurse, and the teacher proceeds to flip out, demanding who did it. In typical fashion, the kid who dared me to do it in the first place rats me right out. So Mrs. Remington tells me to catch up with Nikki and escort her to the nurse. I catch up and the whole time I'm walking her down, I'm debbating with myself: do I own up and apologize, or be a tough guy and say nothing? I opted on tough guy. So we get to the nurse and the nurse draws the curtain and begins to screen Nikki. She has to drop her pants and come to find out, the tacks broke ths skin and she was bleeding. So the nurse comes out, and tells me the news. She already knew I was the one who did it because she was called ahead of time. She informs me that because I broke the skin, the school wants to call the cops. All of a sudden I wasn't such a tough guy anymore, I started begging for them not to call the police. They gave in, and ended up calling my Mom instead. So I caught hell from her, served my 80 detentions, and life went on.
So the years go by, and my luck, Nikki ends up being a fox. a real hottie. And I couldn't say a word to her, out of sheer guilt! So we all graduate and go our seperate ways. I join the Army, and Feb. '07 rolls around, I was home on R&R from Iraq. I'm hanging out with Ben at his place, shooting the shit. We were talking about all the dumb/funny stuff we've done over the years, and I end up telling him the story about Nikki Kap. Now, me and him are good friends, but we didn't start hanging out until 7th grade, and that happened in 6th, so he had no idea about it. I finish the story, and he thought it was awesome, he couldn't beleive I did that, to Nikki Kap at that! So that night we end up going to good 'ol Mugshots. And who shows up? None other than Nikki Kap! I couldn't believe it, neither of us had seen her since high school graduation, and the very day I tell Ben the story, we bump into her. So Ben's getting a kick out of the whole situation, he tells me that it's too coincidental to be true, I HAD to go over and talk to her. But what the hell was I going to say? "Hey remember me, I threw tacks on your chair in 6th grade?" So despite Ben's encouragement, I puss out.
Ben ends up doing his homework though, and a few days later finds her on Myspace. He tells me I should write her an email. He asks what's the worst that's going to happen? She'll tell me to go to hell or just not respond at all. So after our war council we drafted something up and off it went. I basically asked if she remembered the incident, and told her I was the one who did it, and then apologized and apologized for never apologizing. I asked her how she was, told her that's why I never really talked to her, and told her how I was, about the Army and whatnot. And that was it. A few days later Ben checks on the status of the message. It says "read but not replied". Ben gets kinda ticked. He's like "Well fuck her. Stuck up bitch. She deserved it then, blah blah blah." He ends up getting me all worked up, so i'm like "Yeah yeah!" right along with him. Well that very night, "one new message". She emailed me back! Turns out she never knew it was me all those years! She thought it was the kid Owen, the one who dared me to do it! So there I was, hadn't too scared to talk to her for 6 years because I assumed she hated my guts, and the fact that I was so guilty about it, and she never even knew it was me. And then she says "I was eondering why you never talked to me, it sucked we never hung out." And to top it all off she's like: "So what am I up to? Well I'm going off to Patriots cheerleading camp in April!" At that point I was pretty much dumbfounded. Ben thought it was the best thing he's ever heard of in his life. So this girl could end up being an NFL cheerleader. At least it makes a good story.
Marc's wedding:
So Marc's getting married. So Ben and I are attending. First of all, we went throguh hell the night before just to be ready for the damn thing. Went to bed at like 4:30 in the morning. The whole situation was weird for us. I mean, Marc's getting friggin married! We've never had anyone our age get married yet, so we don't know exactly how to take it. Now, i love Marc to death, and I would do anything for the kid, but I can't lie, the wedding was throw together pretty last minute. He asked me to do a reading for the wedding less than 24 hours before the damn thing. Of course I happily obliged, but still. It was kind of thrown together. Although I got to give him credit, he pulled the thing off having just been home for a few days. So anyways we get there, and we go upstairs to visit Marc, wish him luck, square his uniform away, and just be there for him. All that was done, and we went downstairs to leave him to himself. So we're in the church, just waiting for everything to start. Me and Ben are bullshitting, but without realizing it, we're swearing up a storm inside this church, even though it's just our natural talk. "Fuck this, fuck that..." We started talking about how last minute this whole event seemed to be, the whole time, conitnuing to swear it up. All of a sudden, the priest comes up to us, and puts a hand on each of out shoulders. He says, "Gentlemen, we can all hear you!" and politely ushers us away. Come to find out, we were standing right underneath the chorus michrophones that drop from the cielings, and they were ON the ENTIRE time!! Luckily, Marc wasn't upstairs, so he didn't hear anything, but the priest and I'm sure a few other people did. So after the wedding, right before the reception, we wanted to see how loud it was. So Ben stood where we had been and said "Testing 123" and I went into the other room where the priest was. It was loud! I counted 8 speakers in a surround sound configuration mounted on the walls and ceiling. So basically we're going to Hell, no way around it. but like Dad says, "If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."
Alchohol poisoning:
So it was May 4th 2006. A Friday I believe. I was just hanging out, but they ended up kicking all the soldiers out of the barracks so the MP's could bring the drug dogs through. My buddy Sam, who's actually from Dorchester, comes over to my place because he had gotten the boot before me. so the two of us were just hanging outside, and our buddy Don drives up. He told us there was a BBQ going on at this sergeant's house, and asked if we wanted to go. We said sure, and hopped right in. I remember I just had sandals on, not even shoes. Haha. So we get there and chow down and start getting pretty hammered. So I start getting into a debate about music (yeah imagine that!) and start throwing them back. This kid Steve was mixing drinks for me, and I wasn't even paying attention. He filled a dixie cup full of Bacardi and put just enough soda in it to change the color, that's all. Then he tells me to pick a number between 1 and 10, I pick 7. So he tells me I had 7 seconds to drink the whole cup. Thinking I'm indestructable, I slam it down in 6. Everyone was shocked I actually did it, and the last thing I can honestly remember with any detail was people telling me to eat bread to soak up the alchohol. So I grab this bread and bite into it, and remember thinking that it wasn't going to go down too well, it was some nasty basil seasoned bread. Soooooo. I commence to stagger everywhere and start puking all over the place. So they call a cab to get me out of there and back into my room. The cab comes and I get in, but I guess I wouldn't stop talking shit to the driver. (Imagine that!) So he says that he's going to call the MP's, so my buddy Ty gives him 20 euro and tells him to get lost before he gets his ass beat. So Steve, the kid who mixed the drinks and tried to kill me, picks my up on his shoulder and starts to carry me towards the gate. Problem is, he's also drunk off his ass. So he ended up dropping me on my head onto a curb. Some lady comes running up screaming bloody hell, demanding I go to the hospital. Steve tells her off, he's like "What the fuck do you know? Who the fuck are you?" Well, it turns out she was some Colonel's wife, so here comes the big bad Colonel. He states that he's Colonel whoever. Steve's like "I don't give a fuck!" So anyways, while we're waiting on the ambulance to get here, I start telling off some E-7. I'm all like "What the fuck are you looking at? What's your fucking problem?" So, time goes by, and I wake up in a hospital, just like in the movies. It's a German hospital though, so all these nurses start blabbering in German, I'm still drunk, so i just stay in my bed and ignore them. I guess they took my blood and gave me some IV's, but didn't have to pump my stomach. Finally a doctor comes in who speaks English, and asks me how I'm doing. I Go to sit up and tell him i'm fine, but end up falling back into the bed. He tells me to rest a few more hours. 2 or 3 hours go by and he comes back in, and tells me I could leave if I was up to it. I wasn't thinking straight though, I didn't have my military ID on me, my buddies secured it, and what was I going to do, just walk out into the middle od Germany? Half drunk? no ID? In sandals? So anyways I get up out of bed, but I had all those sticky probes all over my body for my heartrate, so i just rip them all off. All of a sudden, one steady beep, the machine thought I had died. So 8 mothafuckers come running in, and there I was over by the sink washing my face. Fianlly, someone came to the hospital and picked me up. And the kicker to all that was that very night I got out of the hospital was the Battalion Ball! And I gotta say, even though Steve was the one that fucked me up with those drinks, I found out later he stayed at that hospital to 1 in the morning, trying to find out if I was okay. Fucking Germany. I miss that shit. Pretty much my wild days are over.
Now, there's plenty more where that came from. But 3 is enough for now, that was alot of typing. But I'll definitely get more up soon. Haha. Court's right. I start off half my sentences off with "So..."
The other day I read my LJ from the very first entry. First of all, that shit was really annoying. I'm no professor, but I didn't use any sort of capitalization or spelling, nothing of the sort. I annoyed myself. Haha. And it made me realized I changed a bit in these last 3 or 4 years. I don't know exactly how to explain it though. Linds tells me I'm more proactive now, more of a "go-getter". That's true, but that's not what I'm trying to get at. I guess I'm more of a realist now. You just realize what actually matters, and how stupid things were that you used to be all hung up on. I was dumb. But I'm smart now. Who knows. Maybe 3 years from now, I'll be like: "Wow. I was such a dumbass!"
Dude. End women's sufferage! Hilarious!
So the main event:
Last night I was talking to Karissa online. We talked for about 3 hours straight. She's fuckin awesome. Too bad she's way out of my league. Haha. So anyways, we were just bullshitting, trading stories and stuff. Which incidentally inspired me to get on LJ, and record some of the awesome stories I've lived through. So here goes, in no particular order:
Nikki Kap:
So I went to Catholic school as a little kid. In 6th grade, I ended up going to the public schools. So there I was, brand new, trying to make friends. This kid Owen James dared me to put these thumbtacks on this girl Nikki Kaprisak's chair while she was talking to the teacher, Mrs. Remington. Of course I did, trying to impress everyone. So this poor girl sits down, and jumps right back up, crying, rubbing her ass. She gets sent to the nurse, and the teacher proceeds to flip out, demanding who did it. In typical fashion, the kid who dared me to do it in the first place rats me right out. So Mrs. Remington tells me to catch up with Nikki and escort her to the nurse. I catch up and the whole time I'm walking her down, I'm debbating with myself: do I own up and apologize, or be a tough guy and say nothing? I opted on tough guy. So we get to the nurse and the nurse draws the curtain and begins to screen Nikki. She has to drop her pants and come to find out, the tacks broke ths skin and she was bleeding. So the nurse comes out, and tells me the news. She already knew I was the one who did it because she was called ahead of time. She informs me that because I broke the skin, the school wants to call the cops. All of a sudden I wasn't such a tough guy anymore, I started begging for them not to call the police. They gave in, and ended up calling my Mom instead. So I caught hell from her, served my 80 detentions, and life went on.
So the years go by, and my luck, Nikki ends up being a fox. a real hottie. And I couldn't say a word to her, out of sheer guilt! So we all graduate and go our seperate ways. I join the Army, and Feb. '07 rolls around, I was home on R&R from Iraq. I'm hanging out with Ben at his place, shooting the shit. We were talking about all the dumb/funny stuff we've done over the years, and I end up telling him the story about Nikki Kap. Now, me and him are good friends, but we didn't start hanging out until 7th grade, and that happened in 6th, so he had no idea about it. I finish the story, and he thought it was awesome, he couldn't beleive I did that, to Nikki Kap at that! So that night we end up going to good 'ol Mugshots. And who shows up? None other than Nikki Kap! I couldn't believe it, neither of us had seen her since high school graduation, and the very day I tell Ben the story, we bump into her. So Ben's getting a kick out of the whole situation, he tells me that it's too coincidental to be true, I HAD to go over and talk to her. But what the hell was I going to say? "Hey remember me, I threw tacks on your chair in 6th grade?" So despite Ben's encouragement, I puss out.
Ben ends up doing his homework though, and a few days later finds her on Myspace. He tells me I should write her an email. He asks what's the worst that's going to happen? She'll tell me to go to hell or just not respond at all. So after our war council we drafted something up and off it went. I basically asked if she remembered the incident, and told her I was the one who did it, and then apologized and apologized for never apologizing. I asked her how she was, told her that's why I never really talked to her, and told her how I was, about the Army and whatnot. And that was it. A few days later Ben checks on the status of the message. It says "read but not replied". Ben gets kinda ticked. He's like "Well fuck her. Stuck up bitch. She deserved it then, blah blah blah." He ends up getting me all worked up, so i'm like "Yeah yeah!" right along with him. Well that very night, "one new message". She emailed me back! Turns out she never knew it was me all those years! She thought it was the kid Owen, the one who dared me to do it! So there I was, hadn't too scared to talk to her for 6 years because I assumed she hated my guts, and the fact that I was so guilty about it, and she never even knew it was me. And then she says "I was eondering why you never talked to me, it sucked we never hung out." And to top it all off she's like: "So what am I up to? Well I'm going off to Patriots cheerleading camp in April!" At that point I was pretty much dumbfounded. Ben thought it was the best thing he's ever heard of in his life. So this girl could end up being an NFL cheerleader. At least it makes a good story.
Marc's wedding:
So Marc's getting married. So Ben and I are attending. First of all, we went throguh hell the night before just to be ready for the damn thing. Went to bed at like 4:30 in the morning. The whole situation was weird for us. I mean, Marc's getting friggin married! We've never had anyone our age get married yet, so we don't know exactly how to take it. Now, i love Marc to death, and I would do anything for the kid, but I can't lie, the wedding was throw together pretty last minute. He asked me to do a reading for the wedding less than 24 hours before the damn thing. Of course I happily obliged, but still. It was kind of thrown together. Although I got to give him credit, he pulled the thing off having just been home for a few days. So anyways we get there, and we go upstairs to visit Marc, wish him luck, square his uniform away, and just be there for him. All that was done, and we went downstairs to leave him to himself. So we're in the church, just waiting for everything to start. Me and Ben are bullshitting, but without realizing it, we're swearing up a storm inside this church, even though it's just our natural talk. "Fuck this, fuck that..." We started talking about how last minute this whole event seemed to be, the whole time, conitnuing to swear it up. All of a sudden, the priest comes up to us, and puts a hand on each of out shoulders. He says, "Gentlemen, we can all hear you!" and politely ushers us away. Come to find out, we were standing right underneath the chorus michrophones that drop from the cielings, and they were ON the ENTIRE time!! Luckily, Marc wasn't upstairs, so he didn't hear anything, but the priest and I'm sure a few other people did. So after the wedding, right before the reception, we wanted to see how loud it was. So Ben stood where we had been and said "Testing 123" and I went into the other room where the priest was. It was loud! I counted 8 speakers in a surround sound configuration mounted on the walls and ceiling. So basically we're going to Hell, no way around it. but like Dad says, "If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."
Alchohol poisoning:
So it was May 4th 2006. A Friday I believe. I was just hanging out, but they ended up kicking all the soldiers out of the barracks so the MP's could bring the drug dogs through. My buddy Sam, who's actually from Dorchester, comes over to my place because he had gotten the boot before me. so the two of us were just hanging outside, and our buddy Don drives up. He told us there was a BBQ going on at this sergeant's house, and asked if we wanted to go. We said sure, and hopped right in. I remember I just had sandals on, not even shoes. Haha. So we get there and chow down and start getting pretty hammered. So I start getting into a debate about music (yeah imagine that!) and start throwing them back. This kid Steve was mixing drinks for me, and I wasn't even paying attention. He filled a dixie cup full of Bacardi and put just enough soda in it to change the color, that's all. Then he tells me to pick a number between 1 and 10, I pick 7. So he tells me I had 7 seconds to drink the whole cup. Thinking I'm indestructable, I slam it down in 6. Everyone was shocked I actually did it, and the last thing I can honestly remember with any detail was people telling me to eat bread to soak up the alchohol. So I grab this bread and bite into it, and remember thinking that it wasn't going to go down too well, it was some nasty basil seasoned bread. Soooooo. I commence to stagger everywhere and start puking all over the place. So they call a cab to get me out of there and back into my room. The cab comes and I get in, but I guess I wouldn't stop talking shit to the driver. (Imagine that!) So he says that he's going to call the MP's, so my buddy Ty gives him 20 euro and tells him to get lost before he gets his ass beat. So Steve, the kid who mixed the drinks and tried to kill me, picks my up on his shoulder and starts to carry me towards the gate. Problem is, he's also drunk off his ass. So he ended up dropping me on my head onto a curb. Some lady comes running up screaming bloody hell, demanding I go to the hospital. Steve tells her off, he's like "What the fuck do you know? Who the fuck are you?" Well, it turns out she was some Colonel's wife, so here comes the big bad Colonel. He states that he's Colonel whoever. Steve's like "I don't give a fuck!" So anyways, while we're waiting on the ambulance to get here, I start telling off some E-7. I'm all like "What the fuck are you looking at? What's your fucking problem?" So, time goes by, and I wake up in a hospital, just like in the movies. It's a German hospital though, so all these nurses start blabbering in German, I'm still drunk, so i just stay in my bed and ignore them. I guess they took my blood and gave me some IV's, but didn't have to pump my stomach. Finally a doctor comes in who speaks English, and asks me how I'm doing. I Go to sit up and tell him i'm fine, but end up falling back into the bed. He tells me to rest a few more hours. 2 or 3 hours go by and he comes back in, and tells me I could leave if I was up to it. I wasn't thinking straight though, I didn't have my military ID on me, my buddies secured it, and what was I going to do, just walk out into the middle od Germany? Half drunk? no ID? In sandals? So anyways I get up out of bed, but I had all those sticky probes all over my body for my heartrate, so i just rip them all off. All of a sudden, one steady beep, the machine thought I had died. So 8 mothafuckers come running in, and there I was over by the sink washing my face. Fianlly, someone came to the hospital and picked me up. And the kicker to all that was that very night I got out of the hospital was the Battalion Ball! And I gotta say, even though Steve was the one that fucked me up with those drinks, I found out later he stayed at that hospital to 1 in the morning, trying to find out if I was okay. Fucking Germany. I miss that shit. Pretty much my wild days are over.
Now, there's plenty more where that came from. But 3 is enough for now, that was alot of typing. But I'll definitely get more up soon. Haha. Court's right. I start off half my sentences off with "So..."