Theme: Week 2

Jul 22, 2010 17:45

CRACK AU

AU = Anti-Ulquiorra Alternate Universe :D

Last week's prompt and fics:

First Kiss )

#week 2

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4/4! crystaldawn July 25 2010, 10:35:29 UTC
"And that's how he joined our party!"

Orihime's four companions looked distinctly nonplussed, as well as the redhead sitting beside her at the inn table. She didn't seem to mind, though - in fact, she seemed to find the entire story rather amusing.

"I told you not to go wandering through that cave system by yourself," the petite black-haired girl across the table reminded her. She looked as if she might develop a headache at any moment. Orihime sure hoped not; she had pretty much cast every spell she was able to for the day during that little adventure.

"A-Ah, Rukia, please don't stress yourself out over it," she said with concern, "I don't think I can use Souten Kisshun again today. I have to regain my mana..." The mage simply put her small hands on her hips and huffed.

"And whose fault is that?" the party leader groused. The monk beside her pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and surveyed the dragon boy warily from his spot beside Rukia.

"I can pick up the slack for the rest of the day," the thin man said coolly, causing Orihime to show a grateful smile in his direction.

"Thank you, Ishida!" she chirped happily. She didn't notice the huff and bit of red dusting that colored the dragon's face at the sound of her voice being so friendly towards the warrior monk. She also didn't notice the satisfied smirk that same monk gave the newcomer, causing him to grit his teeth.

"So, newbie," the large man with the even larger serrated sword strapped to his back said, folding his arms behind his spiky red hair, "You got a name?" The dragon turned towards the other redhead; he liked him marginally better than the monk to his left.

"Ichigo," the dragon mumbled, disliking their scrutiny, "It's Ichigo." He wasn't used to this many people all at once, and to tell the truth, that was part of the reason he'd never wanted Orihime to go get help; he was an incredibly socially awkward dragon.

"Mine's Renji," the battlemage across the table from him informed him, letting his chair come to rest all four legs on the floor as he leaned forward.

"Nice t'meet you, I guess," Ichigo muttered, scratching his cheek. Was that how these things went when you weren't trying to eat the person you were talking to? Or accidentally tearing their clothes off?

"Nice armor, Ichigo," a deep voice sounded beside him, belonging to a hulk of a man with wavy brown hair and a deep tan. Ichigo briefly wondered if he might not be a half-orc with the way he was built. Either way, he sighed in something akin to annoyance.

"Thanks," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his shining gold chestplate, studded with diamonds and rubies and inlaid with intricate fire and dragon designs. Orihime leaned across Ichigo to speak quietly to the brown-skinned berserker in a loud whisper.

"He's sensitive about the armor," she said seriously, loud enough for the rest of the table to hear unintentionally anyway, "He's not wearing any underwear and it really chafes!" As all eyes turned to the dragon boy, they could swear they saw a few sparks come out of his ears.

"ORIHIME, YOU PROMISED NOT TO SAY ANYTHING!"

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terpzilla July 25 2010, 20:27:01 UTC
This is win and I loved everything about it. 8D

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crystaldawn July 25 2010, 20:30:59 UTC
Awww, thank you, bb! I loved writing it!

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I LOVE YOU!!! giethe July 26 2010, 15:57:01 UTC
That-that was one of the most adorable things I've ever read!

I love how you made fun of the chainmail bikini trope, and how the 'dragon' already sounded like Ichigo just by his speech pattern. Ahahahah - and I wonder why Ishida ended up a monk instead of a ranger or something. It's also a bit odd to think of Chad as a berserker, but I like the idea of a battlemage Renji and a spell-casting Rukia. Also, socially awkward dragon boy = win.

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UWAAAAH <3 crystaldawn July 26 2010, 19:55:38 UTC
Thank you!

I put Ishida as a monk because the kanji Kubo uses for Quincy translates to something like 'warrior monk', IIRC. Plus, he just strikes me as the semi-cleric type. And I would've made Chad a fighter, except that sounds really generic and not as awesome as berserker. X3

Ffffff, I'm seriously tempted to do more on this with one of our old HackMaster campaigns.

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Re: UWAAAAH <3 giethe July 27 2010, 03:05:07 UTC
Ahahahah, I never really paid attention to the quincy terms in kanji, but that's very interesting. Maybe I found the berserker job odd because I've always regarded Chad as a more rounded fighter, since he's got defense as well (*___* like maybe, a paladin /biased). But Rule of Cool says it's perfectly fine, |D. (I'll just imagine he's got them Diablo 2-esque awesome barbarian moves).

I just remembered to ask: Since Orihime put the collar on Ichigo, does she hold some control over him? If so, how much? It sounds like a really fun party, and if you've got someone like ORIHIME as your master, I smell some crazy shenanigans afoot. Fufufufufu <3 (Translation: Yesss, please go ahead and plaaaay more)

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Re: UWAAAAH <3 crystaldawn July 27 2010, 12:27:02 UTC
You know, I forgot to actually put anything about it in there, but yes, yes she does. I was thinking something along the lines of InuYasha, except for a broader range of commands than 'sit'.

I guess that does mean I should continue, huh?

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Re: 4/4! alice_candy July 26 2010, 17:30:37 UTC
AH! i-i-it's amazing! it's so funny and i love the metal bikini and m-metal b-bra! LMAOOO and a dragon s-s-stammering and telling someone not to cry?! VERY FUNNY! it's so cute!

thanks CD! this cheered me up and made me LOL!

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Re: 4/4! crystaldawn July 26 2010, 19:56:16 UTC
Yay, I'm glad I could cheer you up! I-I kind of love medieval fantasy parody. X3

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godmodsue August 9 2010, 14:10:24 UTC
Dragon!Ichigo, ahaha! Apart from what the others have said that I agree with (especially with maaru re: Ichigo's speech patterns), I love all the attention to details here! And most of all, hahahaha that ending!

BTW, CD, if you could, could you title this fic? I'm compiling all the fills so I can pimp them over at ichi_hime and the FLOL bad_shield pimping thread and it's just easier when they have titles. It's not mandatory, but it'll really help if you could.

Thanks for contributing to the comm! :D

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crystaldawn August 9 2010, 19:54:25 UTC
I titled it 'Dragon Slave' when I stuck it on ffnet!

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Re: 4/4! songsparrw1 October 19 2010, 06:18:51 UTC
Loved it - great AU setting. Funny, you were thinking like Kubo! I think I like yours better, but don't tell Tite.

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