(Untitled)

[foundmystar]

I moved from NY to El Paso,Tx about 6 months ago. In NY, I never had to wait in line very long at Target. It's why I would always go there, I'd rather pay a little bit of higher prices than deal with the long lines of Walmart. Here in El paso, both the Targets around me only have 2-3 registers open (even on the weekend!).

Comments

[paksenarrion2]

The thing that bugs me about this and makes me think that this was a bit passive-aggressive on your part was how you stated this:

After waiting about 5 minutes I finally said that if she didn't at least tell someone we need a price check in 2 minutes, we're just leaving the stuff there. I didn't say it directly to her because her back was to me while she was cashing someone out, but I was loud so she would hear me.

To me, the implication here is that you said to your husband something like this while facing her back Honey, if she doesn't get a price check in the next two minutes, we are leaving our stuff and not buying it. Not as you are implying in the comments above Miss Cashier we are leaving our stuff here if we don't get a price check in two minutes. See the difference? Nothing said about having to say excuse me or being polite in the extreme. Frankly it was bad service and if you did say the second thing then fine. But if the first scenario was what happened then I say it was a passive-aggressive way to deal with the bad

[foundmystar]

The way you explained it is the right way to do so. This is why I got irritated by the others. They want me to be so polite about something yet they won't do it themselves. It doesn't matter what situation you're in (even on the net) if you're bitching at someone because they didn't say excuse me but you're saying in a rude way... well that's the pot calling the kettle black

[paksenarrion2]

But you don't seem to understand that they way you originally worded your post I finally said that if she didn't at least tell someone we need a price check in 2 minutes, we're just leaving the stuff there. I didn't say it directly to her because her back was to me while she was cashing someone out, but I was loud so she would hear me. indicates that you did not, in fact, say it to her "face" as it were. Please note the bolded part. Regardless of the fact that her back was to you, this indicates to me that you were not talking to her but about her to someone else. How else can it be interpreted? I don't talk to someone in the third person-whether or not they are facing me or have their back turned to me and are dealing with someone else

[brenda_ea]

I agree - from the comments it now seems that you did directly address her even though her back was turned, but in the original post it sounds like you were talking to your husband hoping that she would overhear. That is what everyone is calling passive-aggressive.

[foundmystar]

But see, everyone is assuming I was talking to my husband when I said that. If people asked, I would have told them I wasn't. If I was talking to my husband, I would have said so in the post. Instead they jump on the assumption train. Just like they say "is saying excuse me too hard?", I say.. is asking me who I was talking to, too hard?

[butterbuns]

Oh look! More assumptions! Why do you assume that "everyone is assuming [you] were talking to [your] husband"?

[foundmystar]

If the "she" part was in quotations, then I'd be talking about her. They are not in quotations. I did not quote my wor ds.

[paksenarrion2]

No you didn't say anything directly to her according to what you posted.

This is what you posted:

After waiting about 5 minutes I finally said that if she didn't at least tell someone we need a price check in 2 minutes, we're just leaving the stuff there. I didn't say it directly to her because her back was to me while she was cashing someone out, but I was loud so she would hear me.

Again, what part of this is saying anything directly to her?? And I am not talking about the distinction of to her face or to her back.

Specifically this:

After waiting about 5 minutes I finally said that if she didn't at least tell someone we need a price check in 2 minutes, we're just leaving the stuff there.

If you had said it directly to her (even if were to her back and not to her face), you would have worded it After waiting about 5 minutes I finally said to her that if she didn't at least tell someone we needed a price check in 2 minutes, we're just leaving the stuff there. Those two little words you left out are very important (and please

[foundmystar]

After waiting about 5 minutes I finally said that if she didn't at least tell someone we need a price check in 2 minutes, we're just leaving the stuff there. I didn't say it directly to her because her back was to me while she was cashing someone out, but I was loud so she would hear me.

Directly is a key word. I think people are not getting what I mean by "directly". When I say "I didn't say it directly to her" I mean to her face. That is why I said "because her back was to me".

[paksenarrion2]

Still not getting it.

When you direct a comment to someone-whether or not you are saying it to their face or their back is turned to you, you say it to them, not to someone else. You can a conversation with someone/say something to someone without having to have eye contact. You aren't saying something to someone when you are saying it to another party loud enough for the person you are directing the comment at to hear.

You said this comment to your husband, loud enough for her to hear. This is the very definition of being passive-aggressive.

Next time say it directly to her back. Hey-please get a price check in 2 minutes or we are leaving our stuff here. Can't get much more direct than that.

[butterbuns]

Wait, she said she DIDN'T say it to her husband.

[paksenarrion2]

Then she must have said it to her kid. Unless she talks in the third person?

[butterbuns]

IDK, I mean I've seen people bitch aloud to no one but themselves. But I see your point.

[paksenarrion2]

I mean I don't dispute that she did get some bad service.

But honestly, she could have posted it better if she really did say it to the cashier and not to her husband or to herself. The way she wrote it up, she came off as passive-aggressive and nothing she said in any of the comments changed my opinion-just reinforced it.

And in the long run, talking at someone's back in a loud environment isn't a good thing either. A tap on the shoulder and a simple-Ma'am, we have been waiting for 5 minutes for this price check. Please get us this price check or we will have to leave-would have worked.

[butterbuns]

Um....I know all that. I was the first person to comment on it, wayyy up at the top before the wank.

[fortifarse]

I think it was probably just poorly worded, then coupled with uber defensiveness on the OP's part. But the whole "this word made me think...."argument, complete with bold and "THIS ONE WORD makes the difference" just seems like a swift decline into the asinine, imo.