EEEWOMGVIOLENCE!!
This happened a few weeks ago, at the ONE stupid comic book store in my college town. I thought I was over it, but I guess it's still eating at me a little bit...
I read this comic book called Scud: The Disposable Assassin. It's about a robot named Scud and all these whacky adventures he gets into. It's a really, really violent comic book. The writer/artist also ended the series very abruptly, with no ending.
Well, I haven't read Scud in years, so imagine my surprise when I find out that after, like, a million year hiatus, the writer/artist actually finished the series! Awesome! So, I head over to the local comic book store to see if they have Scud: The Whole Shebang, which is a collection of every Scud comic ever written.
I walk in to the comic book store, and the employee there greets me with a smile. I ask him if they have a copy of Scud: the Whole Shebang, and he says, "Hmm, you know, I'm not too sure..." he hunts around for it for a while, and then finally finds it. What a nice employee! Everything is off to an excellent start!
Employee: (pops out from the back room, comic in hand) Ah ha! Found it!
Me: Yay! I'm so happy!
Employee: Yeah, I bet your boyfriend will be really happy you found it, too!
Me: Oh, it's not for my boyfriend.
Employee: Who's it for?
Me: Me!
Employee: ...for...you?
Me: Yes! I'm so happy you found it, I thought Rob Schrab would never finish Scud! I can't wait to read it!
Employee: ...how old are you?
Me: Oh, I'm over 18, if that's what you're worried about.
Employee: Can I see some ID?
Me: Ummm....sure. (pulls out wallet and shows ID)
Employee: (pause) You know, I'm not too comfortable selling this to you.
Me: What? Why? I'm over 18.
Employee: Yeah, but...it's very violent.
Me: ...I know.
Employee: I mean, really violent. REALLY violent.
Me: Yeah, I know. I HAVE read Scud before.
Employee: There's sex in it, too.
Me: Nothing I haven't seen before.
Employee: (shifts uncomfortably) I dunno.
Me: Dude, I'm over 18. You can sell that to me.
Employee: But it's very violent.
Me: I KNOW. Can I please just buy it?
Employee: ...Look, I just don't want this comic upset you.
Me: Why would it upset me? I've read it before!
Employee: Well, because, just...do you like other comics?
Me: ...yes...?
Employee: What else do you like?
Me: Um, the X-Men, Batman, Sin City, Bone...
Employee: Oh, we have some great Bone comics --
Me: I don't want Bone comics, I want Scud. Can I please buy it?
Employee: (chews bottom lip) Um...uh...maybe I should call the owner of the store --
Me: OK, you know what? Forget it.
Employee: Look, I'm sorry. It's just Scud is a very violent comic book and --
Me: Right, whatever. Have a nice day.
Oh, so it's all fine and dandy when I want to buy that comic book for a man, but when I want to buy it for myself, suddenly, it's off limits? Do you think that just because I have a uterus I'm going to start bawling at the sight of some guy getting his face cut off? Would you feel more comfortable if I picked up some Betty and Veronica comic books? I'm surprised you even suggested Bone, because (GASP), people DIE in that comic book! Whatever, you sexist jackass. I'll go to the comic book store I used to work in my hometown and get Scud there. Where, they, you know, don't try and censor us helpless little girls from nasty, scary violence.
I read this comic book called Scud: The Disposable Assassin. It's about a robot named Scud and all these whacky adventures he gets into. It's a really, really violent comic book. The writer/artist also ended the series very abruptly, with no ending.
Well, I haven't read Scud in years, so imagine my surprise when I find out that after, like, a million year hiatus, the writer/artist actually finished the series! Awesome! So, I head over to the local comic book store to see if they have Scud: The Whole Shebang, which is a collection of every Scud comic ever written.
I walk in to the comic book store, and the employee there greets me with a smile. I ask him if they have a copy of Scud: the Whole Shebang, and he says, "Hmm, you know, I'm not too sure..." he hunts around for it for a while, and then finally finds it. What a nice employee! Everything is off to an excellent start!
Employee: (pops out from the back room, comic in hand) Ah ha! Found it!
Me: Yay! I'm so happy!
Employee: Yeah, I bet your boyfriend will be really happy you found it, too!
Me: Oh, it's not for my boyfriend.
Employee: Who's it for?
Me: Me!
Employee: ...for...you?
Me: Yes! I'm so happy you found it, I thought Rob Schrab would never finish Scud! I can't wait to read it!
Employee: ...how old are you?
Me: Oh, I'm over 18, if that's what you're worried about.
Employee: Can I see some ID?
Me: Ummm....sure. (pulls out wallet and shows ID)
Employee: (pause) You know, I'm not too comfortable selling this to you.
Me: What? Why? I'm over 18.
Employee: Yeah, but...it's very violent.
Me: ...I know.
Employee: I mean, really violent. REALLY violent.
Me: Yeah, I know. I HAVE read Scud before.
Employee: There's sex in it, too.
Me: Nothing I haven't seen before.
Employee: (shifts uncomfortably) I dunno.
Me: Dude, I'm over 18. You can sell that to me.
Employee: But it's very violent.
Me: I KNOW. Can I please just buy it?
Employee: ...Look, I just don't want this comic upset you.
Me: Why would it upset me? I've read it before!
Employee: Well, because, just...do you like other comics?
Me: ...yes...?
Employee: What else do you like?
Me: Um, the X-Men, Batman, Sin City, Bone...
Employee: Oh, we have some great Bone comics --
Me: I don't want Bone comics, I want Scud. Can I please buy it?
Employee: (chews bottom lip) Um...uh...maybe I should call the owner of the store --
Me: OK, you know what? Forget it.
Employee: Look, I'm sorry. It's just Scud is a very violent comic book and --
Me: Right, whatever. Have a nice day.
Oh, so it's all fine and dandy when I want to buy that comic book for a man, but when I want to buy it for myself, suddenly, it's off limits? Do you think that just because I have a uterus I'm going to start bawling at the sight of some guy getting his face cut off? Would you feel more comfortable if I picked up some Betty and Veronica comic books? I'm surprised you even suggested Bone, because (GASP), people DIE in that comic book! Whatever, you sexist jackass. I'll go to the comic book store I used to work in my hometown and get Scud there. Where, they, you know, don't try and censor us helpless little girls from nasty, scary violence.