Dear Twatwaffle... The Directors cut
Dear gaping twatwaffle,
I have been meaning to write to you for quite some time. Just give me a moment to gather enough rage to not only write a hate filled rant about you but also power every major city in the country for an entire year. That is how much you have managed to piss me off. Now despite all these rants, I am not really an easily angered person. I like to think of myself as a true neutral that is mellower than a sloth. Somehow you managed to piss me off so badly that the mere mention of your name sends me into a frothing rage. I need a red ring for this.
Getting on to this epic long speech on the reasons why you suck.
When I met you, you rped with me and you seemed so nice and sweet and like so much fun. Even if a lot of times the rp centered around your character to the point that there were a couple of rps that lasted for hours and consisted of nothing but me standing back there and posting that I was watching your characters do this AMAZING thing! Like.. Your naga character unhinging it’s jaw and slowly eating an elk… If I wanted to sit down and watch vore, I’d go to gurochan for that shit. I rolled with it because I am pretty used to playing side and supporting cast characters anyways.
Then.. The whispers began. The insults and jabs at other people. The paranoia that everyone was secretly out to get you. Because I was new and I didn’t really know who you are, I believed them. I even started to become more and more like you. Distancing myself away from others because of the utter lies that you told me about each an every member. Eventually I realized that you back talked about everyone and said that you were a very paranoid person. I, who has severe anxiety to the point that I get panic attacks at random moments to the point that I break down in tears, can’t breathe and will not eat or sleep for days.. Totally understood that. I even decided to try and help you cope by becoming your shoulder to lean on and the person to rant to. I even wanted to offer solutions to how to deal with it and people who have “wronged you.”
Little did I know what sort of shit that would drag me into. Months before you came up with this plot which would lead up to revealing you as the gaping black hole of a cunt you really are, you ran to me crying and bitching about someone again. This time the offender was a friend of mine who also later turned out to be a douchebag. (I’ll cover thing in Dear twatwaffle: the second coming.. In the eye.) This time.. The grievance is for.. WEARING A DIGO IN FRONT OF YOU THAT SHE RECEIVED AS A GIFT! Lol what?? Anyways I decided to try and deal with you over it and try to reason with you that it very likely wasn’t done on purpose. I even said that you ought to apologize. Well the person whom you pissed off also whispers to me and rants as well. Turns out that she has had a horrible day and that out of no where a friend gave her a digo which made her feel infinitely better about herself and was complaining about how you bitched her out for showing off. Also that you were bitching her out still in whispers under a not so cleverly disguised apology even when you said that you apologized nicely and said that she was acting passive aggressive.
Time went on and I hoped that you two settled it between yourselves even though I knew that both of you were holding each other at arms length. Do I blame the other player? No. But I started to believe you less and less. Eventually you came up with a plotline for another friend named Fox and your mate. I also wanted to include my friend sexycatboy. We conspired together and decided upon a plotline where my chaos mage accidentally sends them away to another land where your mate wreaks havoc cause well.. he’s a dragon and that’s what dragons do apparently and we must find a way to rescue them. We were even going to rp the captors and torturers but I also managed to get a friend to help me do it that turns out to be my character’s nephew. I’m going to call him Simba. Anyways, initially I wanted all my friends to be allowed in if they so desired to join in but for the most part you wouldn’t let them because they were all after you and would ruin the rp. As I started to recruit people to play roles or to see who else wanted to jump on board, I noticed that not many of my friends wanted to join anyways. I didn’t even understand why. (I was naïve in the way that even if you did not like the rper oocly you can still rp with them and not cross the ooc and ic line. How incredibly naïve and stupid of me.)
The plot launches off, everyone who ought to play their roles are playing their roles except you. You only ever popped onto your bad guy alt once the entire time. I worked on an entire dream, patches and all by myself and even dipped into a dream package to be able to keep the place up while going to school full time (taking THREE ART CLASSES, working, dealing with home drama, and preparing to graduate with my A.A.) and I even rped a henchmen.. And yet all you seemed to have time for was your stupid ass blindgranny character to mope and cry about her lost mate and soak up the attention. And you were obsessed with hooking up Icly with Fail-werewolf (whom I ranted about some time ago.) who was too busy turning pixiegal into a werewolf against her consent. I know this because your bitching about it would never end. Also you were to busy white-knighting and harassing Samuriguy for stealing art when there was little to no evidence of such. (This will come in later.. It will be quite hilarious.)
Meanwhile Simba and I were struggling our asses off to make sure that Fox, dragon, and sextcatboy were entertained and not just sitting on their hands until we found some people to go rescue them. Eventually Simba’s character turned out to not be such a bad guy but a villain that used evil in order to do good and loathed my character for killing off his uncle. He also eventually decided that killing some foreigners and continuing to torture them would turn out very badly for his land whose military was already weakened or non-existent. So he stopped torturing them. He also realized that he got all the information that he wanted and needed from them and that harming them any longer can ruin any deals that he could make later. This annoyed Fox because he wasn’t getting much of the rp that he wanted who complained to you.
For some reason you lost your shit and bitched Simba out about not going along with plot and letting them go when clearly they were still chained up in some deep dank basement. If you ever popped on and rped the role you promised and said that you would, you would have known that. I immediately got onto you for that because you had Simba upset. I even brought up how I was doing all of the work and do you remember your response? Here I will remind you since you always seem to have these “mysterious lapses in memory whom you are currently seeking a psychiatrist about.” Your response was “I’m out of this rp have fun.” Then you ran to the thread that the plot information was posted up on and posted some melodramatic shit that you weren’t wanted or needed. In whence case I responded, “Well with that being said! This plot is now under new management! That means all the people who were denied or not able to join in, can finally join in! :D” Smiley face and all. Then people started to flood in. Funny how that worked! You saw this and got upset saying that it was ME who was the one that didn’t allow people in. I then pointed out that it was my character saying that because he was paranoid of “non-normals” scaring the local “normal” population and would make negotiations very difficult.
Then your psycho ass went even crazier when I thought it wasn’t even possible. You killed off your blindgranny character by making her run into battle in another plot.. Despite the fact that your character had a soul bond with dragon and that would kill off his character too. Turns out you never asked him or brought it up with him or expected him to die as well so that yours and his character would be revived from death a week later by Mr.Creepypants (a player known to have a crush on you and everyone in the dream and bring up some squick worthy suggestions icly that always pertained to ERP.) and both of your bodies would be over in land A instead of land B during this plot, which would ruin the plot. O.. I C wat you did thar. Never the less I said no to Dragon and explained to him that because of YOUR pettiness that would destroy the plotline for everyone involved since people had come to rescue namely him and also sexycatboy whom nobody seemed to miss and fox who only two people seemed to miss. So he had to play his character comatose until the end of the plot until he was rescued.
Meanwhile during all of this you still went batshit on me and everyone else and accused Pixiegirl of being an attention whoring cunt because you weren’t included in their rps, accused Ninetails and Licorice (who were new admins or beginning to be admins) of being assfaces that were out to get you and kill your characters which when they really weren’t and still expected me of all people to sit there and pat your back after you . So I pointed out that maybe just maybe that the reason why people avoided you was because you start drama over the stupidest twofaced shit, and you flip out on me and log off.
A few days go on by and I get a whisper from M.Creepypants sking me whats going on with the plot and why we were fighting. I then explain to him that due to a misunderstanding that you flipped out on people, had me do all the work and did nothing but talk shit about people and how I was sick of it. Then it turns out that he decided to be your new therapist and that he was currently helping you with your sand-in-your-vagina problems. Now what really got me was that after all this he said, “Now can you do me a favor? Stop whispering her and leave her alone?” .. what? … wat? WAT????
A month or so later, you are in the ooc room bitching and whoring it up again but this time about art instead of anything Icly related. This came up because I was looking for some stock photos or something to draw from because I needed to figure out how to make a certain pose. Then you started blabbing about your artwork, (Which really sucks, is disproportionate and reeks of self importance.) Now I know my artwork are far from masterpieces but I know yours really, really lok horrible and despite people giving you constructive criticism, you don’t take their advice and you defend it saying “But it’s my style!” Don’t even get me ranting on this “But it’s my style!” bullshit because this rant would be derailed from your suckage and I don’t want to do that. Nobody answers or pays any mind to your egotistical ass decided to say something along the lines of “Why is it that whenever I talk about art nobody pays any mind to me?” Did you really have to ask? Did you? Well I responded saying that it was because you never take any advice and you flame people for it. (Not to mention that you whine, cry and bully people into commissioning you into making something horrifyingly ugly and then pay ridiculous prices in a complicated way.) Later on a couple days later turns out that when we rp around each other yo don’t respond to my posts despite my character being an “adopted son.” But you are responding to sexycatboy. I note it ICLY that my character decides to sit back and let blindgranny and sexycatboy talk as letting the adults talk before asking his question again. Then I get a whisper from sexycatboy who says that now you are bitching to him about that comment and are whispering me after placing me on the ignore rule, without informing me because I was holding grudges against you over the plot thing. Turns out that you also went to a number of players in that dream and said that I was attacking you and spreading rumors about you.
Ooooooh.. You stupid fucking whore… You really shouldn’t have done that when you already have a reputation of having so much drama already. I decide to inform an admin about it and they have a talk with you about it. I never really figure out what happened which still annoys me to this day. I steered clear of you in rp from that point on and played my character as thinking of blindgranny as dead or at least dead to him. MONTHS LATER you still start some shit with me. This time in the ooc room again when I was on Fancyartist, of new alt of mine. I accidentally posted a religious joke in the wrong window, quickly apologized and took it back. But you.. You decided to take it into a rage worthy rant in whence you were the only one who was offended and so I said. “I said I was sorry and noted that it was a mistake. Let it die.” Then you found out it was me who spoke to you and then whispered me, threatening me that if I ever broke the ignore rule on you again that you would report me to the guardians. LOL WAT? I went to the guardians myself and found that it had no basis to get me into trouble at all but at this point I realized that you could use this to try and frame me as some douchebag. I went to the admins again and their solution was that they were going to talk to you about placing all of my alts on ignore and that I do the same thing.
I followed through with this and even tried to ignore you on the forums despite lacking any real ignore feature. Months later your saga of cuntery continues. This time I started my own art thread in the ooc art forum because I ndeed some feedback on how to deal with proportions on one piece and how to adjust the foot. It got no response but I got feedback from my friends on skype. I began to work on it and all but forgotten about the art in question. Then Werewolffail guy comes in and tries to give me advice which I don’t respond to because well.. I didn’t have time and thought that page died. Then you come in and try to give me advice as if you are one to talk. (By the way, me and my friends later on found out that a majority of your artwork is traced from popular furry artists and some DnD dragon picture art and traced horribly. We saw it on Furaffinity.. Tracing furryporn and then adding Mr.Creepypant’s character with his knife shaped wang hanging out. Is Really fucking classy.) I of course ignore this because IGNORE RULE! You later on note in the thread that I haven’t responded to you because I have some grudge over a plot six months ago that you got over and how I was being childish. I promptly lash out and point out that you were the oen that started it all and that you were supposed to have me on ignore and that I was supposed to ignore you just as the admins told us to do because of the drama that YOU started. Then you respond “I am just giving honest criticism.”
Wel let me give you some honest criticism of Your cuntery. YOU are the biggest two faced, sand-paper-iest, attention whoring cunt of all time, also you are fat and nobody likes you. The reason why you are so paranoid and so unhappy with yourself is because you also know this but somehow managed to convince yourself that it is everybody else’s fault except yours. But I never got to say that to you because I had to be Ms. Goody two shoes and follow the fucking rules and let the admins handle it! Gods dammit! I don’t want to be the better person anymore! It only makes me fall into the darkside more!
Then the admisn deleted your comments and locked the thread, in fact it was the rah that did it and then you lost your shit. You bitched out ninetails because it HAD to be him and that ALL OF THEM was on my side because they all hate you and envy you and that you are a poor helpless damsel. The next fucking day you decide to mess up your own myspace profile or something and then start to write up in the forums that you have been having these blackouts and that somehow for some reason you were making posts that you don’t remember and that your therapists think that you have a split personality. NO! FUCK YOU! I AM NOT GOING TAKE THIS!! I do not believe for a second that you went to a therapist over night or have been hiding these symptoms up until now. Because of you, I can’t take people who claim to have asbergers or genuine mental illnesses seriously because I don’t know if they are lying!
Not when I have a legitimate mental illness, not when an admin has a legitimate illness, not when I dated an actual paranoid schizophrenic! I wish you were miscarried like those many babies that all of your characters miscarry! I have become a much darker person because of you! I WANT MY NAIVE AND HAPPY AND SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS BACK YOU CUM GUZZLING BITCH! I want to drive down to your house with a wooden bat, attempt to beat you with it but then realize that my bat is only getting sucked into your fat rolls and then I will have to toss twinkies at you to escape so that I can return later on that night to go cow tipping. Then I will tie you to my car and drag your fatass down to Mexico where they have more lax standards, and sell you off to a meat factory, passing you off as some rare breed of cow and will make just enough pesos to cover half of the gas money that I used to make this trip.. Then I will convert to Hinduism for fucking ever.
Fuck you! You fucking cunt pancake! I will not ever let this go or ever forgive you or ever take you off ignore and if anyone who has ever heard of you runs into me, I will show them this and explain why I loathe you so very much. I wait until the day ED finds your ass and I don’t normally wish this upon, but you.. Fucking you… My blood pressure goes up at the mere mention of your name. One of these days.. I am going to think of you and I am going to do something, I don’t know what it will be but there will be blood and the next day I will get a fucking red ring in the mail because of it!
You know what? This rant has gone on long enough even though I could bring up more pages of your epic fail and cuntery.. But I need to go blow off some steam..
