Big Suck, Little Suck
Alright everyone, how about a Two For One Deal...
Way back when I talked about Pants I made an off handed comment about a mod who believed that tentacle rape paintball bullets were perfectly valid weapons of war. You can find it here, but it's really just a single sentence. Today, I'd like to talk about Paintball Man. Let's give him a better name... How about Perv-Waffle? Yes, Perv-Waffle sounds good.
Perv-Waffle and me go way back, and once upon a time we were friends. At the time, I didn't realize that friend meant "Someone you like" rather than "Someone you only want to strangle once or twice a month". Perv-Waffle had a few things going for him. He was fun and creative. That was about it. You see, he had his obsessions. Namely, Electrokinesis, Ghostbusters, Mecha, and Russians. I wrote this stuff off as him just being a fan boy.
Well, maybe, but he hasn't gotten over it. Every character he ever made had, essentially, the same personality. They're mad scientists who are smarter than everyone else and thus more perverted than anyone else. Anything else is just window dressing to him. Peter Vankman? Electrokinetic mad scientist teleported to the chat room area because he was playing golf in a thunder storm.
Russian War Mecha with a brain wired in, Robo Cop style? Mad Scientist with "utility tentacles" mounted to his crotch that attacked people with tentacle rape paintballs and owned a cargo ship shaped like a giant butt.
Irish Mage? Electrokinetic Mad Scientist who liked to mind control people by directly, electrically, stimulating the pleasure center of their brain. He occasionally attacked people by dropping "pussy flavored jello" on them from space. He specified that it was flavored like his (ic) girlfriend.
What was the main difference between the characters, personality wise? Their accents. They were otherwise identical. The same fun loving, perverted, womanizing mad scientist that sexually violated people for laughs. Who decided to act as Hwaiiee!'s surrogate penis when she impregnated people as punishment.
Fact being impregnating people seems to be something he like as the Tentacle Rape Paintballs came in two varieties "Spooge" and "Non-Rape". He demonstrated the Spooge variety by impregnating a homeless drifter, and the Non-Raping Tentacle Rape variety only happened after the Chat Room Owner laid down a ban on weapons that impregnated people against their will.
You read that right. Only he was effected, because only he had weapons that impregnated people.
But, he's a fun perv-waffle, right? Well, yeah, but that doesn't make him any less of a creep. I dunno, maybe I should walk, but here I am again, right where we left off, with him playing a robotic dog with the exact same personality as all of his other characters, not to mention the variety of other "masks" he's got.
And now for the little suck... You! You there! THE DOCTOR does not work that way. Not even remotely. First of all, I'm pretty sure he should be able to spell and capitalize his sentences. Maybe I'm being a little... silly for insisting on that, but come on. Secondly, unless something has gone horribly, horribly wrong, you do not get a Foo Doctors situation. Third... All of the Doctors have distinct personalities and... Hell, let's just go for the play by play, shall we? This is in a Pan Fandom chat, for the curious. I'll skip posts not by The Doctor himself because they're not the subject of this rant. And, really, I want to strangle this guy.
(The Tenth Doctor is flying the Eleventh Doctor's TARDIS)
The Doctor: *the Tardis shuddered as something began to interrupt it... something was wrong as the consle sparked and began to groan* ahh! no, no, no, no! *hed rush around it* come on! *he began to press things to no avail* its no use.. i dont know how this one works!
The Doctor: Everything! *hed frown at her* new controls, new set up... even a new floorplan! *hed frown , looking back down to the console* they are trying to divert us... stop us following... well... me.... *hed then frown to her* Why do i ALWAYS pick the bossy ones?
Sorry Doctor, but unless you were incredibly stoned or hung-over, you should have no trouble figuring out what each control does because the TARDIS is telepathic. It tells you how to work the controls when you touch them. This is why the Master can fly the Doctor's TARDIS just fine, despite the fact that the Master's is much newer. This is also why he can just tell someone "Work the controls!" and they can. I'm going to skip a bit here...
The Doctor: *she would find herself in a completle white area.... it would almost be blinding as all she could see in every direction was white.... nothing... except a few feet infront of her would b a large, old armchair... in it would be sat her doctor... unconcious*
Okay, from a Canon perspective I suppose there isn't all that wrong with the Tenth Doctor dropping Amy(the Eleventh Doctor's companion) off in a room where Eleven is going to be. I mean, if you're doing a Foo Doctor Scenario, anyway.
The Doctor: *hed suddenly be awoken by her tapping, alittle dazzle* cheese covered baboons!! oh... *hed pause seeing amy* AMY! oh brilliant!! *hed then look around ... frowning... still clearly drowsy* not quite so brilliant... how did you get here?! *hed look to her... then to the tardis... his features growing darker* we are all in terrible trouble...
The Doctor: yes! *hed stand up .... looking to the tardis... then to her... his eyes going wide.. forgetting most of what she said... a mix of terror and anger appearing in his features* You didnt.... *there would be blazing lights around them as 10 figures would appear... each a imposingfigure with beautiful white wings... angels... bearing heavy swords*
Around this time, I said to myself "okay, there best be a damn good Creature Babble reason for the Angels. I mean, there are a few that could work." Here's what he says
The Doctor: (correctin... 9 angels... not 10)
Oh yes, that soothes my fears soooooo much.
The Doctor: *hed look around* oh no ... this isnt good... *hed put his hand to his forhead as the tardis would begin to dissappear... as all the angels would close their eyes... their faces morphing* .... You dont know what youve done amy..*hed groan* this was what they were planning......
Oh no, they've been captured by Putty Angels from Planet Ralph! Of course it's not good you bleeding idiot. Somewhere in the back of my brain, Come Sail Away by Styx starts up.
"A gathering of Angels appeared above my head, they sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said:"
The Doctor: No.. *hed turn to Amy... looking worried* im sorry for this... this is going to be hard... and dangerous.. more than anything that has been before.... they are undoing my timeline.. changing things... creating an impossible challenge... but ill be comeing for you.. *hed place a hand on either side of her face gently* I will save you.... ill fix this... *each angels face would change, their clothng... revieling their true identity.... each one of th doctors regeneration... as everything would fade to white*
WHAT? WHAT? The Angels are in fact... THE DOCTOR? And not just replicas, but the actual Doctor? But really, when I read this part one thing went through my mind. Woops, time for the next verse! "I thought that they were Angels, but to my surprise; we climbed aboard their starship, we headed for the skies!"
The Doctor *she would reappear... a cold and barren planet around her.... there was nothing but cold winds... and a few feet from her... would be an old man....an eyebrow raised as he tugged lightly at his jacket* well... I must say... this is fascinating my dear.... fascinating
Now, that would be the Hartnell doctor, Number one. Who has been in the Foo Doctors situation more than once(Technically, they all have, but that's beyond the scope of this rant) and would most likely not say "Fascinating" in... well, nearly any situation. In fact, there should be a snide comment or three. Snide is what the man does. If he's simply a replica created from the Doctor's Brain, which for all I know he might be(but that's not what his other posts imply), then he should be making a comment about being stuck with the Kiss-o-gram lass. Updates as they become available.
TL;DR the first: Guy who only has one personality for his many, many characters(his own) consistently molests people using super powers, thinks Tentacle Rape Bullets are the perfect solution to every little problem, and generally is a super-sized perv-waffle with extra fries.
TL;DR the second: If you refuse to spell, and can't get his personality right you shouldn't play The Doctor. If you haven't actually watched anything before the 9th, you shouldn't run an 11 Doctors plot with you playing all of the doctors.
Way back when I talked about Pants I made an off handed comment about a mod who believed that tentacle rape paintball bullets were perfectly valid weapons of war. You can find it here, but it's really just a single sentence. Today, I'd like to talk about Paintball Man. Let's give him a better name... How about Perv-Waffle? Yes, Perv-Waffle sounds good.
Perv-Waffle and me go way back, and once upon a time we were friends. At the time, I didn't realize that friend meant "Someone you like" rather than "Someone you only want to strangle once or twice a month". Perv-Waffle had a few things going for him. He was fun and creative. That was about it. You see, he had his obsessions. Namely, Electrokinesis, Ghostbusters, Mecha, and Russians. I wrote this stuff off as him just being a fan boy.
Well, maybe, but he hasn't gotten over it. Every character he ever made had, essentially, the same personality. They're mad scientists who are smarter than everyone else and thus more perverted than anyone else. Anything else is just window dressing to him. Peter Vankman? Electrokinetic mad scientist teleported to the chat room area because he was playing golf in a thunder storm.
Russian War Mecha with a brain wired in, Robo Cop style? Mad Scientist with "utility tentacles" mounted to his crotch that attacked people with tentacle rape paintballs and owned a cargo ship shaped like a giant butt.
Irish Mage? Electrokinetic Mad Scientist who liked to mind control people by directly, electrically, stimulating the pleasure center of their brain. He occasionally attacked people by dropping "pussy flavored jello" on them from space. He specified that it was flavored like his (ic) girlfriend.
What was the main difference between the characters, personality wise? Their accents. They were otherwise identical. The same fun loving, perverted, womanizing mad scientist that sexually violated people for laughs. Who decided to act as Hwaiiee!'s surrogate penis when she impregnated people as punishment.
Fact being impregnating people seems to be something he like as the Tentacle Rape Paintballs came in two varieties "Spooge" and "Non-Rape". He demonstrated the Spooge variety by impregnating a homeless drifter, and the Non-Raping Tentacle Rape variety only happened after the Chat Room Owner laid down a ban on weapons that impregnated people against their will.
You read that right. Only he was effected, because only he had weapons that impregnated people.
But, he's a fun perv-waffle, right? Well, yeah, but that doesn't make him any less of a creep. I dunno, maybe I should walk, but here I am again, right where we left off, with him playing a robotic dog with the exact same personality as all of his other characters, not to mention the variety of other "masks" he's got.
And now for the little suck... You! You there! THE DOCTOR does not work that way. Not even remotely. First of all, I'm pretty sure he should be able to spell and capitalize his sentences. Maybe I'm being a little... silly for insisting on that, but come on. Secondly, unless something has gone horribly, horribly wrong, you do not get a Foo Doctors situation. Third... All of the Doctors have distinct personalities and... Hell, let's just go for the play by play, shall we? This is in a Pan Fandom chat, for the curious. I'll skip posts not by The Doctor himself because they're not the subject of this rant. And, really, I want to strangle this guy.
(The Tenth Doctor is flying the Eleventh Doctor's TARDIS)
The Doctor: *the Tardis shuddered as something began to interrupt it... something was wrong as the consle sparked and began to groan* ahh! no, no, no, no! *hed rush around it* come on! *he began to press things to no avail* its no use.. i dont know how this one works!
The Doctor: Everything! *hed frown at her* new controls, new set up... even a new floorplan! *hed frown , looking back down to the console* they are trying to divert us... stop us following... well... me.... *hed then frown to her* Why do i ALWAYS pick the bossy ones?
Sorry Doctor, but unless you were incredibly stoned or hung-over, you should have no trouble figuring out what each control does because the TARDIS is telepathic. It tells you how to work the controls when you touch them. This is why the Master can fly the Doctor's TARDIS just fine, despite the fact that the Master's is much newer. This is also why he can just tell someone "Work the controls!" and they can. I'm going to skip a bit here...
The Doctor: *she would find herself in a completle white area.... it would almost be blinding as all she could see in every direction was white.... nothing... except a few feet infront of her would b a large, old armchair... in it would be sat her doctor... unconcious*
Okay, from a Canon perspective I suppose there isn't all that wrong with the Tenth Doctor dropping Amy(the Eleventh Doctor's companion) off in a room where Eleven is going to be. I mean, if you're doing a Foo Doctor Scenario, anyway.
The Doctor: *hed suddenly be awoken by her tapping, alittle dazzle* cheese covered baboons!! oh... *hed pause seeing amy* AMY! oh brilliant!! *hed then look around ... frowning... still clearly drowsy* not quite so brilliant... how did you get here?! *hed look to her... then to the tardis... his features growing darker* we are all in terrible trouble...
The Doctor: yes! *hed stand up .... looking to the tardis... then to her... his eyes going wide.. forgetting most of what she said... a mix of terror and anger appearing in his features* You didnt.... *there would be blazing lights around them as 10 figures would appear... each a imposingfigure with beautiful white wings... angels... bearing heavy swords*
Around this time, I said to myself "okay, there best be a damn good Creature Babble reason for the Angels. I mean, there are a few that could work." Here's what he says
The Doctor: (correctin... 9 angels... not 10)
Oh yes, that soothes my fears soooooo much.
The Doctor: *hed look around* oh no ... this isnt good... *hed put his hand to his forhead as the tardis would begin to dissappear... as all the angels would close their eyes... their faces morphing* .... You dont know what youve done amy..*hed groan* this was what they were planning......
Oh no, they've been captured by Putty Angels from Planet Ralph! Of course it's not good you bleeding idiot. Somewhere in the back of my brain, Come Sail Away by Styx starts up.
"A gathering of Angels appeared above my head, they sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said:"
The Doctor: No.. *hed turn to Amy... looking worried* im sorry for this... this is going to be hard... and dangerous.. more than anything that has been before.... they are undoing my timeline.. changing things... creating an impossible challenge... but ill be comeing for you.. *hed place a hand on either side of her face gently* I will save you.... ill fix this... *each angels face would change, their clothng... revieling their true identity.... each one of th doctors regeneration... as everything would fade to white*
WHAT? WHAT? The Angels are in fact... THE DOCTOR? And not just replicas, but the actual Doctor? But really, when I read this part one thing went through my mind. Woops, time for the next verse! "I thought that they were Angels, but to my surprise; we climbed aboard their starship, we headed for the skies!"
The Doctor *she would reappear... a cold and barren planet around her.... there was nothing but cold winds... and a few feet from her... would be an old man....an eyebrow raised as he tugged lightly at his jacket* well... I must say... this is fascinating my dear.... fascinating
Now, that would be the Hartnell doctor, Number one. Who has been in the Foo Doctors situation more than once(Technically, they all have, but that's beyond the scope of this rant) and would most likely not say "Fascinating" in... well, nearly any situation. In fact, there should be a snide comment or three. Snide is what the man does. If he's simply a replica created from the Doctor's Brain, which for all I know he might be(but that's not what his other posts imply), then he should be making a comment about being stuck with the Kiss-o-gram lass. Updates as they become available.
TL;DR the first: Guy who only has one personality for his many, many characters(his own) consistently molests people using super powers, thinks Tentacle Rape Bullets are the perfect solution to every little problem, and generally is a super-sized perv-waffle with extra fries.
TL;DR the second: If you refuse to spell, and can't get his personality right you shouldn't play The Doctor. If you haven't actually watched anything before the 9th, you shouldn't run an 11 Doctors plot with you playing all of the doctors.