It's enough to make a monkey bite its young...
Three small rants, some of which are somewhat out of date. However, I figure what the hell - sometimes things need to be said.
Dear elitist,
Please note that writing incredibly long posts in incredibly small font does not make me want to RP with you. Length I don't mind, I can get quite verbose myself at times - what irritates me is that so much of what you put in is repetition of what you've said earlier. I don't object to the stuff that's irrelevant either, I think it adds a nice bit of flavour to the scene. However, it is irritating that your text is so small that my eyes are aching by the time I'm done reading one of your posts. The thing is, you're not actually a bad RPer, you just have a couple of irritating habits. It's also very, very annoying that you think anyone who doesn't write as much as you do is a "Lazy, incompetent hack of a writer." Seriously? Now, I can keep up - like I say, my posts are sometimes as long and occasionally longer than yours; however, I don't like you bad mouthing my friends because they're more concise writers than you and I. Apparently, this means I'm making special dispensations for my friends. Really? Sure, their posts aren't as long as yours but they're far easier to read and they're just as high quality in most cases. Sure, the minimum length requirements are there for a reason. Why do you keep pointing this out to me? The players about whom you're complaining are well over the minimum length. Is it possible that you misread the four line minimum as four paragraphs? Maybe. Maybe you're just an arrogant douche with his head too far up his own arse to read other people's posts properly. So, you come bitching to me, presumably because I'm the second most long-winded person involved, largely about people you know full well I'm friends with and seem to be genuinely surprised when I tell you that they're doing nothing wrong and that you should get the hell off of your high horse. Of course, I was slightly more polite about it. Next time I won't be.
No love,
Me.
Dear His Dark Materials roleplayers of the world,
Kindly stop making your daemons so very, very special. Seriously, my sparrow is starting to feel ashamed. You with the daemon which retains its ability to shapeshift despite the character's being an adult, in particular. I mean, doesn't that just mean your character's immature? Unfortunately, though, you're not alone. There's another idiot, this time with a full-sized dragon as a daemon. Now, I seem to recall Pantalaimon changing into a small dragon at one point but a full sized one? Please. Thirdly, there's you with the armoured bear as a daemon. I will kill you. Seriously, though, daemons are restricted to natural, animalistic species, so far as I can remember from having actually read the books. The armoured bears, on the other hand, are a sentient race, akin to humans in many ways, though they don't have daemons. That brings me rather nicely onto yet another you - the armoured bear with a daemon. Tell me, did you manage to read the books or watch the films and somehow miss out the relatively important piece of plot which revolved around the usurper king of the bears wanting a daemon of his own? However, all of these pale into insignificance beside Ms. "My daemon gave up its shapeshifting powers in order that I could have them." Frankly, madam, you win the all time award for people who make me want to punch them in the throat. Ye gods, why do I bother?
Utter disdain,
Me.
Dear Lord Darkington Wannabe McVillainous,
Please understand that my character is pretty one dimensionally evil and aggressive. Thus, if you tell him that "The only way for you to get to the throne is through me," you forfeit all rights to complain when he stabs you in the gut. He is so one dimensional because this is a parody roleplay, a send up of the entire fantasy genre. This is, of course, something else which seems to have totally passed you by. Now, getting pissed in character is understansable; although, your first encounter with our merry little band was my character trying to stab the ranger for reasons which escape me at this point. However, getting pissed OOC, pitching a fit when the GM refuses to reprimand me for acting in character and then flouncing? That is not going to earn you the kind of respect you seem to think it is. Particularly not when you seem genuinely surprised that we don't come begging for you to return and grace us once more with your 'spectacular' RP skills. Yeah. And when you accuse the sorceress of being a Mary Sue? The reason we laugh at you is because she's supposed to be a Mary Sue. How you failed to realise this, I will never know and, frankly, that doesn't bother me.
Abject hatred and no small amount of amusement,
Me.
Teal deer? In short, there's a bunch of idiots around and there always have been.
Oh, I'm sorry if these are slightly lacking in coherency - it's been too long since I slept properly.